Page 58 of Loving Wild

“Yeah. Fifteen, good looking, despite the fact he always looked moody, and don’t get me wrong, he definitely could be, still can as you’ve probably learned, he was also funny. So yeah, all this meant he had girls throwing themselves at him.” I smile while imagining a young and cocky Gabe, then I inwardly cringe as it hits me that when he was fifteen, I was twenty-four, married, and had two kids.

“He was always out, never home, back then.” Jess’s voice brings me back to the conversation. “He played a lot of different sports, surfing on the back beaches, sunning and hanging out at the bay beaches, parties, and just doing what fifteen-year-olds do. The old house has a big rumpus room that we’d all hang out in, and Gabe would always come and sit with us and chat on his way out, or when he got home, then suddenly, that all stopped.”

We’re both quiet for a second before Jess says, “Sit tight, I’m gonna go grab us a bottle of wine so we don’t run out.”

I stare into the fire for a few seconds before Sam appears and sits herself down in the chair next to me.

“Hey,” she says with a smile. “What you doing sitting here all on your own?”

“I’m not, Jess went to find us more wine.”

“Cool, mind if I join you?” she asks as she pulls her chair closer.

“Course not. Did Gabe tell all of you that I’m not to be left alone?” I question.

She smiles while screwing her nose up at me. “Yep,” she says with a shrug. “I think he’s worried you might punch on with Jackie if he’s not around to stop you.”

“It’s a possibility,” I tell her with a shrug.

“I got two bottles. We’re all set for the next little while.” Jess returns, holding up two bottles of red.

After topping up our glasses, she scoots her chair closer, so I’m captured between her and Sam.

“I was just telling Lauren how we found out what Jackie was doing to Gabe back in the day,” Jess explains to Sam.

“Ohhhhhhhh,” Sam widens her eyes as she speaks. I take a chug on my wine before pulling the blanket over my lap and sitting back in my chair.

“So yeah, as I was saying,” Jess continues. “He just withdrew from us, started playing up at school, getting into fights, and because Joe had just started seeing Jackie, and she was staying over, we assumed it was his little rebellion to his dad finally moving on after losing his mum.”

“We tried talking to him,” Sam adds. “We tried.” She gestures with her chin towards Jess. “The boys tried. I think he and Zac even got into a couple of fights over his behaviour, but he wouldn’t open up and tell us anything.”

I let out a sigh of frustration, wanting to know all of the details, but at the same time hating what I’m hearing.

“You sure you wanna hear all this?” Jess asks as she reaches out and gives my hand a squeeze.

“I absolutely, most definitely don’t know,” I admit. “But carry on anyway.”

“We set him up,” Jess says after a while. “We knew something was going on. We knew it had more to do with his dad finally moving on and getting serious with a woman, so we set him up so we could find out the truth.”

“We got him stoned,” Sam says with a shrug.

“He was grounded for doing whatever bullshit he’d done that week, so we let him have a couple of beers down in the rumpus room where we were all hanging out, then a few tugs on a joint . . .”

In the fading light, sitting around the fire pit, I watch as Jess’s lips tremble. Sam reaches out for her hand, and Jess swipes a tear from beneath her eye.

“He broke down,” she says, her eyes meeting mine. “He told us everything, and he cried . . . no, he sobbed. He was a fucking mess. And honestly, hand on heart, I don’t know if getting him to admit things that way did more harm than good.”

I don’t even attempt to stop the tears streaming down my face, I just let them fall.

“He was so ashamed, so sorry,” Jess chokes out.

“He really thought it was his fault,” Sam adds.

I close my eyes. It doesn’t help. Doesn’t ease the hurt, the anger, the sense of frustration, humiliation or shame I feel on Gabe’s behalf.

“It was so hard,” Jess clears her throat and continues. “Joe had already had a couple of heart attacks by then, and we just didn’t know what to do for the best. Gabe begged us not to tell him.”

I watch as she finishes the wine in her glass before pouring each of us another.