Page 7 of Loving Wild

I again shake my head. “It’s not. It’s not okay. I told him. I told him what Jay did, and he left. I needed him to wash . . .” My eyes slice to my son’s, and I know I’m about to end any hope he might have of a relationship with his dad in the future, but I’m not going to lie, I’m done protecting everyone else when right now, I feel like I have no one protectingme. I just can’t look at my son as I do it, so I shift my gaze to Gabe’s brothers instead. I don’t know why I choose them over Jo and Jemma, maybe because I’m angry with Gabe, and I want Cooper and Zac to see how disappointed and let down by their brother I’m feeling right now. I want them to see me standing in the middle of this room full of people, in this place that’s become my home over the past few weeks and show them how utterly broken and alone I’m feeling.

“Jay, my husband, he pissed over me. He knocked me to the ground, and while I was lying there, he pissed over me, and when I asked Gabe to wash . . . to wash that out of my hair, he left. He didn’t say a word, just climbed out of the bath and left me there.”

I lose it. I can’t breathe, the room spins, and my legs refuse to hold me up. Jo pulls me into her, and Zac catches us both before we hit the ground.

I’m moved to the sofa. Jo and Jemma sit down on either side of me before Jess kneels in front of me with a mug of tea in her hand.

“Drink this, I know you said no sugar, but I think you need it right now, just a little sip.”

My tongue feels like it’s stuck to the roof of my mouth, and my hands are shaking so bad, I’m scared I’ll spill the tea if I take it from her. Jemma takes the tea; Jo takes my hand.

“I’m so sorry,” I whisper. “We’ve never met. I’m a mess . . .”

Jess shakes her head. “Do not, please, do not apologise. You have nothing to be sorry for, Gabe on the other hand is gonna get his arse kicked when I get my hands on him.”

Cooper appears, leans down and kisses the top of Jess’s head before his eyes meet mine. “We’re gonna go look for Gabe. Sam’s gonna come down and lock the door behind us. If East shows up, just call the police. There was a car sitting parked outside earlier with a couple of cops in it. If they’re still there, I’ll let them know you girls are here on your own.”

“Where’s Ryder?” I ask while trying to look around Cooper and Jess.

“He left. I’m not sure if he’s gone looking for Gabe or his dad, but he left as soon as you said what had happened.”

I lean back and attempt to sink into the sofa. I didn’t want this. Not Ryder fighting with his dad, or Gabe fighting with his brothers, but I don’t say any of this. Jay and Gabe have both got whatever’s coming their way, and it’s nothing compared to what I want to give them right now.

Cooper leaves, Sam appears at the top of the stairs, and we all look at each other in silence.

“Try and drink some of this tea,” Jemma eventually says.

“Fuck the tea, I’m pissed off and I’m bruised, I need something stronger,” I state.

“Oh, thank God, me too.” Jess stands up from where she'd been kneeling in front of me. “What have you got, Lauren?”

“There’s white in the fridge, red on the rack, spirits in the cupboard.”

I decide on a Bailey’s over ice in the end. I’m not in the mood for wine, and I don’t think my stomach could handle a hard drink right now. Jemma leaves because she has an early shift in the morning, and me, Jo, Sam, and Jess, end up curled on the sofa, sipping on our drinks, and waiting for a call from Cooper, Zac or Ryder.

* * *

“Willthe boys have any idea where to look for Gabe?” I ask after a few long moments of silently staring into Gabe’s fire, which someone had the foresight to turn on at some stage during the evening. It has one of those long, sleek, black designs. It gives the illusion of flames licking at burning coals and logs but is, in fact, artificial and gives off very little heat. A good description of the way I am viewing Gabe right now, fake and full of shit.

“I assume Gabe’s looking for your husband, so they’ll go to wherever they think your husband might be,” Sam says.

“I’ve no idea where that would be at this time on a Monday night—is it Monday? I’ve lost track. Today has felt like a week, so much has happened.”

“Technically, it’s Tuesday,” Jo informs me. “It’s just after midnight, so yeah, it’s Tuesday.”

“You’ve had a rough few days, I’m not surprised you can’t keep up,” Jess adds, my head snapping to where she’s sitting on the sofa opposite me.

“Why, what else has happened?” Jo doesn’t hesitate to question.

“Sorry,” Jess says quietly as she shakes her head.

I don’t know Jess or Sam, but they know Gabe, know his secrets, and I wonder if they can give me a bit of insight into the man I’ve become so invested in but still feel I know very little about.

“We had a fight yesterday, a big one. I threw a tantrum, and Gabe threw one of the pool chairs. He stormed off. I got drunk.”

“I see a pattern developing here,” Jo says and nods towards my glass.

“I’m hardly drunk. I’m sipping Baileys over ice, not knocking back shots of neat vodka, although I could’ve done with doing that this afternoon.”