Page 123 of Loving Wild

The nurse moves away and starts typing on the tablet she’s holding.

I reach out and take my daughter’s hand, kissing the back of it before setting it gently back down on the bed.

She looks tiny, frail. They’ve shaved a patch of hair from the side of her head, and I know she’s going to be pissed off when she wakes and finds out. But I don’t care. I just want her to wake up. Awake and complaining loudly.

But all I can do for now is wait.

My phone vibrates from the pocket of the hoodie I’m wearing. I pull it out, swipe it open, and read the text Ryder has just sent.

Ryder:She’s just starting to wake up properly. She’s asking for you. I don’t think she knows what’s happened yet. You ok if I tell her? My nan and aunt have just arrived. They’ve booked into a hotel around the corner. How’s Ava doing?

I read the message at least a dozen times till I’ve taken in all the information it contains.

Me:Ava’s still unconscious. I’ll be staying here again tonight. Can you lie, and just tell her Ava’s in the children’s hospital, she’s okay, but I’m staying with her tonight and will be over to see her in the morning? Don’t tell her about my dad, I want to be the one to do that.

When I look up from my phone, my sister is staring at me. I open my arms. Wordlessly, she stands and walks around the bed and collapses into my lap, sobbing.

“It’s okay. She’s gonna be okay,” I kiss the top of my sisters head and attempt to reassure both of us.

“She has to be. Dad’s dead. That’s too much, I can’t take it if she isn’t. Nothing’s going to be the same.”

I have no words for that. No words to fix things or make them better. Both our parents are now dead, and she’s right, like when our mum died, nothing will ever be the same again.

“She’s going to be okay, and we’ve all still got each other,” I eventually say. “We’ll always have that.”

“I’m so scared. I’m not ready to do this life without my daddy.”

I don’t have it in me to hold my own tears back, so I just let them slide down my face while I hold my little sister as she cries.

“There’s a bag of clean clothes and toiletries over there. If you wanna go take a shower, I can sit with Ava,” Dani says into my chest about ten minutes later. “The nurse said there’s a room for families upstairs where you can do that.”

I look over my sister’s head at my daughter and wonder if I can bring myself to leave her while I take a shower.

“Have you eaten at all?” Dani sits up and asks me as she wipes her face on the cuff of her hoodie. I shake my head in response.

“I feel sick because I’m hungry and sick at the thought of food.”

“Jess said there’s a microwave in the family room upstairs, she’s sent you something to reheat. Go shower and eat, Gabe. You’ll feel better for it when Ava wakes up.”

Knowing she’s right, I give my sister’s hip a squeeze, and she moves out of my lap. When I stand, the room spins, but I keep moving so I don’t have my sister on my case about not looking after myself.

I find the bag with the clean clothes, and another with a container filled with lasagne, and go in search of a nurse who can point me in the direction of the family room.

Chapter 24

Lauren.

It feelslike it takes me days, but when I finally drag myself back to consciousness, it’s to the sound of two people arguing.

“I’m telling you now, if you take them, I’ll call for the nurse and tell her what you’ve done.”

“Don’t be such a little grass. Look, there are loads, they won’t even miss them . . . I might grab some of those wipe things as well. Wish they had Germoline, can’t get Germoline here you know.”

“Germoline? The pink smelly stuff? Mum, we’ve been here over forty years. Surely you’ve found something to replace it with by now.”

“Not the same.”

“Oh well, you’re still not nicking the gloves and wipes. Lauren will crack it if she finds out.”