Page 133 of Loving Wild

The ultrasound Lauren had earlier meant that what looked like a fucking dildo with a condom covering it was pushed up inside her. I mean seriously, what the actual fuck? Surely there’s got to be a better way of getting an image than that?

Lauren’s grip on my hand tightens, but this time, Trish squirts gel over her belly, presses a microphone looking thing into it, and starts moving it around.

After a few minutes of studying it, she turns the screen to face us.

“Okay, here’s what’s going on.”

Lauren looks from me to Trish, to the screen. I follow her gaze and look at something resembling the milky way being displayed.

“That,” she points at a straight white line, “is your Mirena coil.Thatisnotwhere it’s supposed to be. Somehow, it’s travelled all the way up to the top wall of your uterus. See there . . .”

We watch as she points and circles a dark area on the screen, I nod, despite not really knowing what I’m looking at.

“So that’s what’s causing the bleeding and the cramps?” I ask.

“Hmmm,” Trish says before popping her lips together. “Well, what we also have is this going on right here,” she points at a grey mass to the right and below where the IUD has lodged, and I feel like I’m about to vomit.

“That right there is a foetus. And then, there’s . . .”

“Wait. What?” Lauren asks. “A foetus? As in a baby?”

“A baby?” I question, my brain finally catching up to what she’s showing us. “Is it okay? Alive?”

“Yep, that little flickering right in the centre is its heart beating.”

“That’s a baby? No fucking way. Ren, it’s a fucking baby.” I lean in and kiss her as I speak. Lauren remains silent.

“But what you also need to be aware of is this area down here,” Trish continues and points at the other grey mass to the left of the screen and I hold my breath.

“No, absolutely not. Nope, no way. This isnothappening,” Lauren says, her voice getting higher.

“Yep,” Trish replies. “That’s foetus number two. It’s smaller, but that little heartbeat is even stronger.”

“Another foetus?” I question, not sure I understand what she’s saying.

Lauren pulls her hand from mine, and I look down to find her glaring at me, the hand I was holding now pointing a finger my way.

“You,” she hisses through her teeth. “Knocked me up with fucking twins you fucking idiot.”

I make a noise in response. It sounds like a mash-up of a laugh, a sob, and help.

“I’m forty-fucking-four and pregnant with twins. That,” Lauren points at the screen, “that’s why I can’t stay awake, it’s nothing to do with the concussion. It’s because I’m growing two whole other humans inside me, when instead, I should be planning my fucking retirement.”

“Right, I’ve got everything that I need. We’ll leave you to get dressed.” Turning to the radiologist, Trish says, “Can you send me all of that, and I’ll see these two in my office when they’re ready.”

“Four,” I add with a wink.

“Four?” Trish the doctor questions.

“Yeah, four. Technically there’ll be four of us coming to your office, coz, you know, twins,” I remind her with a wink because I’m hilarious like that. The doctor doesn’t have much of a sense of humour and just gives a quick smile and leaves.

When I look at Lauren, she doesn’t appear to be laughing either.

“What?” I question with a shrug.

Turning to Rachael the radiologist, Lauren asks, “Do you have any surgical tape, or glue, actually, yeah, glue would be better. Do you have any of that glue you use to glue wounds together so I can use it on his mouth? Gluing his dick shut probably wouldn’t be a bad idea at this stage either.”

“That’s not very nice,” I tell her. “I’m the father of your children remember?”