Page 81 of Loving Wild

I nod in agreement, take a sip of my drink, eat another handful of nuts, then settle in to tell the rest of my story.

“So, after driving in silence for a while, Gabe then springs it on me that we’re not going home, we’re stopping at the car dealership, and through his family business, we’re ordering me a new car . . .”

“A new car, wow,” Lou says with another one of her sighs.

“I was a bit of a bitch about it,” I admit. “I was tired, I was hungover, I think my Mirena needs changing because I’ve had the worst period pain for weeks, I’ve just had a bitch off with his ex, and all I want is to go home, curl up on the sofa under a blanket with a cup of tea, a packet of chocolate biscuits, and watch TOWIE, or One Born Every Minute . . . anything, to take my mind off all of my own drama.” I pause while taking in Lou, who’s now holding the entire bowl of cashews to her chest and shoving them in her mouth one by one as she listens.

“So, as usual where Gabe’s concerned, he apologises for the Lena situation, I give in, we kiss and make up, and walk into the showroom smiling and laughing, only to be greeted by some leggy blonde telling Gabe he looked a lot better than he did the other night and enquiring how his hangover was the next day.”

“Oh shit,” Jem whispers.

“Damn fucking straight, ‘oh shit!’ The night Jay pissed over me, when Gabe took off and left me, he ended up at some bar where his fuckbuddy happens to work and got absolutely smashed.”

“Alysa Hawkins?” Jo asks.

“Yes, Alysa fucking Hawkins. All six fucking feet of her came strutting across the showroom floor towards us in her white blouse, tight grey skirt, killer red heels, hair and makeup perfect, then there’s me, hungover as fuck, period cramps, leggings, a hoodie, UGGs, hair piled on top of my head, and minimum makeup.”

The sound of Lou crunching nuts is all that can be heard for a few seconds. I shoot her a look, she stops mid-chew and offers me the bowl. I shake my head, and she carries on crunching.

“Whadya do?” Jem asks in almost a whisper.

“I walked away,” I tell them. “She’s fucking stunning. Lena’s a miserable bitch who needs to smile more, but she’s still gorgeous, even Karen McAlister is still as sexy as fuck.”

“Who’s Karen McAlister?” Lou asks through a mouthful of nuts.

“Another of Gabe’s exes Loz is now working for. We’ll tell you that story later,” Jo tells her with a wave of her hand. I nod to confirm what Jo has just said.

“Shit,” Lou says in another whisper.

“I told Gabe to just get me a white car, any fucking car, I didn’t care, and to just get me out of there. We drove home in silence, and when we pull up at the gates to his drive, I tell him I need some time, jump out the truck, and go for a walk on the beach.”

I feel a collective exhale of breath from my friends.

“Your life is seriously insane,” Jemma states.

“Fucking tell me about it,” I agree. “And that’s what Gabe doesn’t get; he’s not getting that I’m not coping with all of this. He thinks we can just skip along, hand in hand in our little bubble of love and hot sex, and nothing can touch us.”

“Hot sex will do that to ya,” Jo adds with a shrug.

“So, I’ve got a quest . . .”

“No!” The rest of us snap in unison at Lou. “Loz can tell you about the hot sex with Gabe later, we need to hear the rest of this story first,” Jo orders.

Lou rolls her eyes.

I continue.

“That’s part of the reason I needed to get away from him. He does something to piss me off, then comes at me all sexy, and says all the right things, and I just let it go. I always feel like he’s got the upper hand and I need to re-establish some equilibrium in our relationship.”

“Big words,” Lou says.

“Thanks, life with Gabe has forced me to improve my vocab beyond, what the actual fuck.”

That makes them all smile.

“But I digress, buckle up ladies, for the rest of my riveting tale of woe,” I tell them theatrically.

“So, Gabe eventually came and found me on the beach, and I tried to explain to him that I’m not strong enough yet to be surrounded by so many of his exes. I thought I was, but after Sunday, I realised I wasn’t. I know that’s on me, something I need to work on, but I can’t do it and be around him. I need to relearn my own self-worth and not have him as a distraction.”