Page 6 of Loving Wild

I have a horrible ache in my lower belly, almost like period pain. I want to blank out what Jay did to me earlier, but the purple bruise that’s already formed on my belly and the pain reminds me I was kicked there earlier.

I still feel a little off-centre, and my limbs and insides feel shaky.

At least the stench of Jay and his piss have gone, and despite wanting to do nothing but go to bed right now and forget about it all, I know, without Gabe here, and with so much churning inside me, I’m too wired to sleep.

I can hear voices coming from the other side of the door, so after pulling on a pair of pyjama bottoms, a hoodie, and my UGGs, I brush and put my hair up, grab my phone, and head out to the kitchen.

My son’s eyes are the first to meet mine, and I’m wrapped in his arms before I even get a chance to take in who else is there.

“I’m okay,” I reassure him.

He holds me away from him, his dark eyes assessing as they dart all over my face.

“I can’t believe he’s done this.”

“Something’s wrong with him, Ryde, he’s not your dad. He’s not the man we know. I’m not making excuses, but he’s had a breakdown of some kind, because . . .”

I trail off because I really don’t know what else to say.

“I’m giving the police tonight. If they don’t find him, tomorrow I’ll go looking.”

“Ryde . . .”

“No, Mum, I’m fucking done with him. Gabe’s right. You handled things your way last time and now look what he’s done. He gets no more chances.” I nod because he’s not wrong. I didn’t want it to come to this, but Jay needs to be held accountable for his actionsandhopefully to receive the help he needs for whatever has caused this massive change in his personality.

“You want a cup of tea or something?” Ryder asks before unwrapping his arms from around me.

“Yeah, I’ll have a tea, please,” I respond while looking around the room at all the faces. Jemma and Jo are leaning against the benchtop on one side, while two women I don’t know are on the other side making drinks in the kitchen. The two blokes sitting on chairs they’ve pulled away from the dining table, I recognise from the bar where Gabe and I met and assume they’re his brothers.

“Hey, Lauren, I’m Jess; this is Sam. We’re Gabe’s brother’s wives. How’d you take your tea?”

I stare in silence for a moment at the tall blonde, then to the equally tall brunette standing next to her.

“No sugar, just a little dash of milk,” I finally respond. “Where’s Gabe?” I ask as it dawns on me he’s not here.

The chatter in the room quietens as I look around at everyone. “Where’s Gabe?” I repeat my question, this time directing it at his brothers.

“Is he not in the bedroom? He went in the bedroom with you,” Jo answers.

I turn to face her. “No,” I shake my head, “I thought he came out here.”

I hear a chair shift behind me, then watch as one of Gabe’s brothers pulls back the bifold doors and heads out to the deck.

“His car’s gone,” he calls out before he even gets back inside.

“Lauren, I’m Cooper, that’s Zac, we’re Gabe’s brothers. We met in the bar a few weeks back, but I don’t think we were properly introduced.”

I nod while taking in his tall frame. He looks like Gabe but with lighter hair, fairer skin, and brown eyes.

“What happened? Did he say where he was going?” Zac asks.

My nod turns into a headshake, and I immediately feel dizzy. He’s actually gone. Left me to face all of these people, strangers, on my own.

“No . . . He . . .” I don’t want to cry in front of these people. I don’t want to cry in front of my son, but I’ve got nothing left in me. Nothing left to hold on with. I want to be strong, but I’m empty.

I pant out a few breaths and wrap my arms around my middle as I watch Jo move towards me.

“It’s okay, Loz, it’s okay.”