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I typically work a regular eight-to-five Monday through Friday, but when I’m not feeling my best, I’ll head out earlier.

That’s the advantage of working with my parents – they’re aware of my health issues, and I don’t have to explain anything to them when I don’t come in or when I need to leave early.

Today, Wednesday, I’m leaving early, but it’s not due to my health.

There’s no appointment I have to urgently get to.

I’m only leaving so I can call Autumn. I’ve been debating for the last few days whether to do so, and I finally decided that I needed to.

For some reason, I miss her. How you can miss someone you don’t know baffles me, but I do.

She told me she works for the recreation center, and since she didn’t want to give me her number, I concluded the best way to reach her was to call the place where she works.

Sitting in my car, still in the parking lot at the store, I pull up a search engine and search for the recreation center’s number. I dial it, lean back in my seat and wait.

One ring has me blowing an anticipatory breath.

Two rings have me anxious.

Three rings make me wonder if anyone is going to answer.

I’d almost given up hope, and then I hear, “Thank you for calling Arden Parks and Recreation. This is Autumn speaking. How may I help you?”

I close my eyes as her voice travels through me like an energy. A force. It’s been that way since I met her.

“Hello?” she says.

I sit straight up and say, “Hi, Autumn. It’s Judah.”

“Judah?”

“Yes, from the other day. From Saturday. The campfire…”

“Yes, I know. You’re actually the only Judah I know.”

“You’re the only Autumn I know.”

“I guess we have that in common.”

A semblance of a smile touches my lips. “It seems so.”

“So, what’s up? Why did you track me down?”

“I didn’t like the way we parted ways Saturday night. It’s been bothering me.”

“Why?”

“Because it just has.”

The line goes quiet for a moment, leaving me to wonder if she was still there. I see the call timer going, so I take it that she is. “You hardly know me, Judah.”

“That’s the problem. I would like to get to know you.”

“From what I saw, you have more than enough people you’re getting to know.”

“I know them already,” I toss back. “I don’t know you .”

“Are you speaking in code?”

I grin, tickled by her perception of me, and respond, “No, I’m not.”

“Then you’re certainly not making yourself clear, so tell me, Judah, why do you want to know me? Be honest.”

“Because I like you, and you like me, too, so stop playing and meet me for dinner tonight.”

I didn’t mean to be so forthcoming, but I felt like I needed to let her know just how interested I am.

“No,” she responds. “Judah, it’s Wednesday. I don’t feel like being around a bunch of people I don’t know, talking about stuff that doesn’t interest me. I’d rather be—”

“It would just be me and you,” I break in to tell her.

The line goes silent again. I suppose she’s thinking it through, but that’s the last thing I need – for her to sit there and overthink this.

I ask, “Autumn, are you there?”

“Yes. I was just thinking.”

“About?”

“Being alone with you.”

“We won’t be alone. We’ll be in a restaurant.

That is what you wanted on Saturday night, right?

Time with me? No one else. Just me. However, I was preoccupied with an old acquaintance, and that meetup was already scheduled.

I probably should not have invited you there, and for that, I apologize. So, I think I— we —deserve a do-over.”

“Okay,” she says offhandedly, but I’m still pleased, regardless. “Listen—I have to get back to work. Give me your number, and I’ll text you mine. That way, you can text me the details.”

“Okay. I can do that,” I tell her, then rattle off my cell number.

“And don’t add me to no group chat,” she orders. “You’re the only person I want to get to know right now.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Alright. See you soon.”

“Looking forward to it.”

As soon as the line disconnects, I smile and sit here, waiting for my phone to beep. When it does, I look at the text message that comes through. It says, “This is Autumn,” followed by an emoji of leaves. That’s how I save her name in my phone: Autumn with the leaves behind her name.

I text her the name and address of the restaurant and tell her to meet me there at six.

She responds with a ‘thumbs-up’ emoji – not the most reassuring response, but at this point, I’m just glad she responded at all.

I really want to know this woman, and I want her to know me – even the difficult things.

I feel like I can open up to her in ways that I haven’t been able to with anyone else in my circle.

That’s what Nico said I needed – somebody to talk to.

Well, besides him. He knows everything about me, but I don’t confide in other people.

I don’t want pity or empathy – I don’t want nobody feeling sorry for me.

Back when I was first diagnosed, I preferred being alone, especially after my fiancée dipped because, in her words, she had her whole life ahead of her and wasn’t prepared to deal with my health issues.

I’m glad we didn’t get to the ‘in sickness and in health’ part of our relationship because she surely would’ve divorced me. That’s how fast she split.

Between the betrayal of someone who I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with, and having to deal with health issues that came out of nowhere, I retreated into isolation for an entire year.

I hardly talked to anyone – my parents and my best friend Nico included.

I sat alone many nights asking myself why – not God – myself.

I felt like I’d done something wrong to deserve this, but I knew I’d live a good life up to that point.

Depression set in. I was a mess – filled with negative thoughts and no real hope for my future.

It was through the darkness of my deep despair when I discovered that isolating myself wasn’t good for my physical or mental health.

So, I built my tribe – my support community – the beautiful people I surround myself with.

I meet them and bring them into my life.

Having that kind of support worked wonders for my soul.

My symptoms improved. The doctors couldn’t believe it.

While I didn’t have a clean bill of health, I had a measure of it. I felt like myself again.

I feel like myself again.

However, lately I’ve been having this feeling like I’m missing something.

That’s why I need this dinner with Autumn.

Since meeting her, it feels like someone punched me in the gut and that feeling is still lingering until I figure out why I handed this woman my ice cream cone.

Yeah, I’ve met other women in unconventional ways, but this time, with this woman, I know it’s not the same.

This evening, I need answers.