Page 37

It’s the first workday after we’re back from our honeymoon.

We flew home Saturday, spent Sunday resting and today, we have to muster up some strength to prepare for our jobs.

I’m looking forward to getting back into the swing of things – just not this early.

A few days off after our return would’ve definitely done the trick.

Now, I’m lying here thinking about how to make that happen while yearning for a cup of coffee at the same time.

I stretch and then turn to my left to see Judah’s eyes on me. A smile instantly spreads across my face. I should’ve known he’d be watching me.

“Good morning, Judah.”

“Good morning, Autumn.”

“What are you doing lying here awake?”

“I haven’t been able to sleep since this happened.”

“Since what happened?”

He glances down at the covers. My eyes follow his toward the tented covers at his midsection.

“Um, what’s that?”

He grins and says, “What do you think it is?”

“But—but how?”

“I woke up like this. I don’t know how it happened.”

I lift the covers to take a good look at it and hurry up and put the covers back down when the enormity of the situation hits me. He’s—I’m—

I’m speechless.

I’m breathless.

I’m…curious.

“How did that happen?” I ask.

“I don’t know, baby.”

“It’s never happened before?”

“It never happened after my diagnosis. Before, I was fine.”

I lift the covers again and take another gander. My eyes expand, capturing the magnitude of it. I lower the covers again.

Laughing, he asks, “What are you doing?”

“I’m looking at it. I’ve never seen it like that before.”

He moves the covers and says, “There. Is that better?”

I stare down at it and say, “Yeah. That’s a lot better. So, um…you can actually…you know—?”

“It appears that way.”

I never thought something like this could happen, so I never daydreamed about it. Never considered it a possibility because the man I signed up to love wasn’t capable of this. But this morning, somehow, he is.

I look at him and ask, “Do…you…want…to?”

“It’s been a long time, but I’m willing to try. It may be my only chance to ever be that close to you, but only if you want to, Autumn.”

My body seizes at the thought of us connecting in this way. It’s foreign to think that this might actually happen. When he moves and hovers over me, it becomes even more real. Yes, it’s happening.

“Hi,” he says when he settles on top of me.

“Hi,” I say, adjusting to his weight bearing down on top of me.

His eyes are desirous and seeking. He licks his lips, kisses my lips lightly, and whispers, “I’m nervous.”

“Okay, then we’re on the same page.”

He smiles.

I smile, too, hiding my uneasiness a tad because I don’t want him to be uncomfortable in any way. That’s why when I feel him poking me from below, I bite my lip and close my eyes, bracing myself with grace and anticipation.

“You okay?”

“I’m fine.”

“Okay.”

He kisses me gently, patiently and thoroughly, taking his time with my tongue. He’s not in a hurry to do a thing. Yeah, I’m not going to be going to work today, and I’m good with that. This is where I want to be – where I need to be. Loving on my husband.

He traces my jaw with his tongue, marking me as his possession as if I didn’t already know that. I know it. I accept it. I love being his.

His hot tongue on my neck does something to my nervous system. The way he whispers his intentions intensifies my desire to have him.

“I’ll love you forever and all the days after,” he says.

He settles between my legs. I feel the moment his manhood presses against me.

I gasp. The feeling is immeasurable. When he slides inside of me, tears slide out of my eyes. He stretches me with his presence and I involuntarily grab everything he gives me.

Holding strict eye contact with me, he asks, “Are you okay?”

“Yes,” I whisper.

“I love you, Autumn.”

“I love you, too.”

“I want you.”

“You have me, Judah.”

He settles. His chest is pressed to my breasts. I lift my head to meet his mouth. To connect us wholly.

Completely.

Thoroughly.

I lock my arms around him tightly and dine on his tongue with effort, capturing his flavor in my taste buds. I listen to his soft groans and fall into rhythm with his movements. My body pulsates with every inch of him embedded inside of me.

When our lips part, I gather plumes of air into my lungs as my ears feast on his gentle groaning. It does something to electrify me. It stirs me. Enlivens me. He kisses my neck, rolls his tongue along my collarbone. You’d think I was ice cream by the way he’s working his tongue.

He moves, slowly, stimulating my nerve cells and stirring my body in the way he wants me to go. I’m in heaven. This is love at its purest.

When I feel my body seizing under his control, I cave, giving in to his needs.

My entire frame splinters as my body shudders beneath him.

My stomach tenses with his strokes, and I couldn’t do anything to stop the intense feeling flowing through my entire nervous system.

The pleasure center in my brain releases chemicals that have me feeling high, and when I’m at the highest of peaks, I hear his groans become wails until he releases.

He fills me with his love and is overcome with emotions.

He lowers his lips to mine and says, “I love you, Autumn.”

“I love you, Judah.”

Overcome with emotions, I release the tears swelling in my eyes and hold on to him. The heat between us welds us together between these covers. We’ve always been one, but right now, we’re one in the same.

“Judah, talk to me.”

He sniffles a little and then says, “I’m good, baby. I’m just taking it all in. This feeling is, uh…”

He sits up and looks at me, then continues, “This wasn’t supposed to be possible, but it was.

I don’t know if it will ever happen again, but I’m glad it happened.

I’m so sorry I can’t be a better man for you, Autumn.

I’m sorry,” he says, in tears as he drops his head onto the pillow beneath me, overwhelmed with emotion.

“It’s okay, Judah,” I say, consoling him as best as I can.

“I want the best for you, baby. I really do. I want you to be happy.”

“Judah, look at me.”

He sits up, using his elbows for support to look at me.

The sight of his teary eyes and weary face has me broken, but I push through the pain and say, “I am happy. You make me happy. Even if this never happens again, Judah. You’re mine, I’m yours and that’s forever, remember?”

I wipe a tear from his face. “I love you. Always. There is no one better. That, I promise you.”

He leans down to kiss me again. With our bodies still connected, he kisses me with feeling and intention.

I return his passion – his love and we keep this feeling, this fire between us.

We make love again until we’re too weak to walk, so thoroughly satisfied, we can’t move.

We breathe, pant, and heave, but we can’t move.

I call in at work to let them know I won’t be there. He calls in, too and afterward, we pass out in each other’s arms.