Page 42
Story: Let Me
Riley screamed for like five minutes straight when I told her I was expecting.
My mother was so happy, she cried tears of joy.
And it wasn’t just a simple cry. No, she was straight up whimpering, sobbing and overcome with excitement.
My father was happy, too, but he tried to hide it.
Since finding out it’s a boy, Adrienne, Riley and my mother have been going nuts, buying loads of baby clothes.
I have so many onesies, my baby won’t be able to wear them all.
At five months I finally started showing. Judah can’t keep his hands off my stomach. He has a habit of talking to the little boy that we’ve decided we would name after him.
Little baby Judah.
At six months , I have an actual baby belly, and I’m loving pregnancy.
Women usually complain about it and maybe I’ll have some complaints when our baby boy gets bigger, but for now, I’m beyond elated that I get to be a mother to Judah’s son – a man I love deeply, wholly and to the depths of the earth.
I can already see how my pregnancy has changed Judah.
He’s more relaxed and mellow. Lately, he’s been more of a homebody.
He always was, but now, he doesn’t hang with the crew all that much.
Doesn’t really talk to Nico, either. And I can’t remember the last time we went on a hike or did anything outdoorsy.
We’re usually home with regular visits from Presly, Adrienne and my parents.
That’s our little village. They’ll play important roles in making sure our bundle grows up to be a successful man.
But back to Judah, he’s different. It’s difficult to describe because so much has changed in our lives, and a baby definitely changes the dynamic of a relationship, especially for a man who didn’t think he could have children.
I suppose he’s getting into daddy mode. He’s going to be awesome at this.
Tonight, he wanted to watch a movie. Yeah, he’s been into TV lately which is fine by me. Curling up on the sofa with popcorn and ice cream for a pregnant woman is bliss.
Adding my husband to the mix and it’s heaven on earth.
“Hey, you need some help in there?” I ask. He’s in the kitchen making popcorn on the stove since it tastes better than the microwave version.
“I got it, sweetheart. I just want you to relax.”
After I don’t hear anymore kernels popping, he says, “Here we go.”
He places a big white plastic bowl on the table and sitting next to me, he plants a kiss on my cheek.
I say, “Thank you, babe. I appreciate you so much, and so does baby Judah.”
He raises my shirt and kisses my belly, then he asks, “Did you find a movie?”
“Are you asking me or Junior?”
He chuckles.
I say, “No, I didn’t see anything.”
He picks up the remote and searches through movie apps. Then he turns the TV off completely. He couldn’t find anything either.
“How about we just talk and enjoy each other’s company?”
“You know I’m always down for that.”
He places the bowl on my lap and then he sits on the floor next to my feet, lifts one and massages. Oh, it feels so good.
“While we have this time, I wish to talk to you about something.”
“Oooh…you wish to talk to me?” I say, amused. “What do you wish to talk to me about, Judah?” I ask, trying to keep the mood light, but the look on his face tells me he’s going deep.
He says, “I want you to be happy.”
“I am happy—”
“I mean, even when I’m gone, I want you to be happy.”
“Judah—”
“No, listen to me, Autumn. I’m not trying to upset you, so please don’t be upset. I just want you to know that it’s okay to move on. You deserve happiness. You deserve everything.”
“Why do you do this?” I ask. “We’ll be having a good time and you have to throw something like this in. You don’t have to say things like this, Judah. We’re good. Everything is good. Life is good. We’re having a baby. Stop worrying.”
“I don’t think this is worrying. This is something many couples talk about. I mean, if something happened to you right now, would you want me to be alone?”
“No.”
“Why not?”
“Because I love you and you’re too good of a man to be alone and lonely. You deserve the best. You deserve all life has to offer.”
“Now, multiply that times a thousand. That’s what I carry for you.”
I stare down at him. That’s all I can do at the moment. I’m left speechless and in awe at the same time.
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