Page 7 of Keep My Heart (The Haydon Falls #1)

Lyndsay

‘I’m not going to Matt’s,’ I say to Diane as we go in her house. ‘I already made plans to have dinner here.’

‘Which you can do any other night this week,’ she says, stopping when we get to the kitchen. She sets her purse and the sack of groceries on the counter and turns to me. ‘Nick obviously wants to see you, and he’s leaving on Monday. Call him and tell him you’re coming over.’

‘That’s crazy! Why would I tell him I’ll be there when I already told him I couldn’t?’

‘Tell him Leah is sick and I cancelled dinner to take care of her.’

‘You want me to lie to him?’

‘It’s not a lie,’ she says, waving her hand around. ‘It’s a story. One that isn’t totally true.’

‘It’s a lie.’

‘Fine. Then just tell him you changed your mind and want to come over.’

‘I can’t tell him that. He’ll think I’m interested in him. ’

‘You are.’

‘Diane, I just got divorced. I’m not dating someone a day after my divorce.’

‘It’s been more than a day. You filed almost a year ago. Yesterday just made it official. You and Chris haven’t even been living together.’

‘It still feels too soon.’

‘Why? What are you waiting for?’

‘I don’t know. More time to pass?’

‘How much time has to pass before you can date again?’

‘More than a day.’ I cover my face with my hands. ‘Ugh. I can’t believe I did that. I can’t believe I asked him out.’

‘You were nervous. It’s easy to blurt stuff out when you’re nervous.’

I drop my hands and slump down on the stool that’s next to the center island. ‘You should’ve heard me. I sounded like a complete idiot. I just kept talking and making no sense. Nick must’ve thought I was crazy.’

‘You’re being too hard on yourself,’ she says, sitting next to me. ‘The guy is good-looking. Rich. Successful. I totally get why you’d be flustered.’

‘He looked so good in that suit,’ I say, an image of him filling my head. ‘I thought he was cute back in high school, but now he’s this tall, muscular, handsome man that gets me all .?.?. tingly inside.’

Diane laughs. ‘Oh God, you’ve got it bad.’

‘What do you mean?’

‘I remember feeling that way. It led to me marrying Tom, then getting pregnant, twice.’

I smile. ‘You two were in love. This isn’t love. It’s just attraction making me feel this way. Nick is so handsome and smart and he has that deep voice that gets me all turned on.’ I sigh. ‘I can’t believe I’m talking like this about some guy the day after my divorce.’

‘Okay, listen.’ Diane puts her hands on my shoulders and looks me in the eye. ‘Your marriage is over. You and Chris are done. You two have been over for a long time and you’re never going back to him.’

‘It’s still too soon to get involved with someone else. And Nick and I live thousands of miles apart. It’s not like we’d ever actually date.’

‘So have some fun with him.’ She gets up and goes around the counter to unload the groceries. ‘You have what .?.?. three nights until he leaves? Don’t waste them.’

‘I’m not sleeping with Nick.’

‘Why not? And don’t say it’s because you still feel some kind of loyalty to Chris. You have every right to be with someone else. And let’s not forget that Chris wasn’t loyal to you when you guys were married.’

I look down. ‘I try not to think about that.’

‘I didn’t want to bring it up, but I had to so you’d remember what a jerk he was and so you’d realize you don’t have to keep being faithful to him.

You were way too good to him for way too long.

Now it’s time for you to get out there and have some fun with a guy who would actually treat you well.

And you and I both know Nick is that guy. ’

‘I can’t do it. I don’t even think Nick would want that.’

‘Are you kidding? The guy had a huge crush on you back in high school.’

‘He did not. He was just being nice to me.’

‘He had a crush on you, and I bet he still does. You’ll never know unless you go over there tonight. Just go as a friend. Nothing’s going to happen with Matt and his family there. ’

‘I guess, but what about dinner? You already bought everything. I feel bad leaving.’

‘We’ll do it some other night.’ Her phone rings and she answers.

‘Hey, you’re still picking up the kids, right?

’ She listens. ‘Okay, yeah, I can do it. See you at home.’ She ends the call.

‘Well, there you go. I can’t make dinner.

I have to go get the kids. Tom’s car got a flat and he can’t pick them up. ’

‘We could order takeout,’ I offer.

She goes to get her purse. ‘This is a sign that you should be at Matt’s house tonight, hanging out with Nick.’

‘I don’t know. I’d feel weird going over there. Matt and Chris were friends.’

‘Matt was friends with everyone. It’s just his personality. Now hurry up and call him. I’ll drop you off there on my way to get the kids.’

I get out my phone and find Nick’s number. My heart pounds as it rings.

‘Hey, this is Nick,’ he answers in his deep, sexy voice.

‘Nick, it’s Lyndsay. Any chance that dinner invite is still open?’

‘Yeah, of course,’ he says, a smile in his voice. ‘Are you saying you’re coming?’

‘Um, yeah.’ I look at Diane. ‘What time should I come over?’

‘Right now, if that’s good for you. We’re out back on the patio having drinks. Dinner will probably be in an hour or so. You need me to come get you?’

‘No. Diane’s dropping me off. I’ll see you soon.’

‘Looking forward to it.’

I end the call and set the phone on the counter, trying to catch my breath.

‘Relax,’ Diane says, laughing. ‘It’s just Nick. ’

‘I know. I don’t know why I’m reacting like this, why I’m so nervous just talking to him.’

‘Because you really like him.’ She slings her purse over her shoulder. ‘Let’s go. I have to drop you off, then pick up Andy at his friend’s house before I get Leah.’

I follow her out to the minivan.

‘Wait! I can’t wear this.’ I point to my shorts and tank top.

‘Why not?’

‘It’s not nice enough, and I wore it all day on the plane. I need to go change.’

‘We don’t have time.’ She gets in the minivan.

I join her, sighing as I look down at my clothes. ‘Nick definitely won’t be interested in me when he sees me in this.’

‘He already did, at the store, and he still invited you to dinner.’

‘Okay, but I still should’ve changed.’

‘What you’re wearing is fine.’ She glances at me. ‘With a body like that, you look good in anything. How do you stay in such great shape?’

‘Teaching yoga helps. And walking a lot. I used to walk on the beach for hours after Chris and I would fight. We fought a lot .?.?.’ My voice drifts off as I remember those fights.

Chris had a horrible temper. He’d yell and throw things.

I didn’t want to be around him when he was like that so I’d leave and go on a walk.

‘Try not to think about him tonight,’ Diane says. ‘Focus on Nick and getting to know him again.’

‘Diane, nothing’s going to happen between us. I know you want me to find someone else, but it’s too soon, and I’m not sure I even want that.’

‘You don’t want to get married again?’

‘Not if it’s going to be like it was with Chris. I don’t want to be in that kind of relationship ever again. We didn’t even like spending time together.’

‘You were with the wrong guy. When you find the right one, everything will be different.’

As she stops at a light, my phone rings. It’s my mom. I texted her when I got off the plane to let her know I was here. She’s volunteering at her church tonight for a spaghetti dinner fundraising event. That’s why I was planning to have dinner with Diane.

‘Hey, Mom,’ I answer. ‘Are you at the church?’

‘Yes, we just started serving. How was your trip?’

‘Good. I slept through most of the flight.’

‘Are you at Diane’s house?’

‘Um, yeah,’ I lie, not wanting to tell her I’m going to Matt’s house. She’d want to know why and I don’t want to tell her. I love my mom, but she feels the need to give me advice about everything so it’s best if I don’t tell her stuff. ‘We just started making dinner.’

‘What time do you think you’ll be home?’

‘I’m not sure.’ I glance at Diane. ‘It might be kind of late. Diane and Tom want to play cards after the kids go to bed.’

‘Okay, well, if it’s after ten, just let yourself in.’

‘I will. Bye, Mom!’ I end the call and put my phone away.

‘You might be out late?’ Diane says, smiling at me. ‘How late are we talking? Two, three in the morning? I’m guessing this means you and Nick are going out after dinner.’

I roll my eyes. ‘That’s not what I meant. I just didn’t want her expecting me to be home early.’

‘Why didn’t you tell her you’re having dinner with Nick?’

‘Seriously? You know my mom. If she knew I was hanging out with a guy a day after my divorce she’d tell me it’s too soon and that I should wait at least a year before dating again.’

‘A year?’ Diane says like I’m crazy. ‘How are you supposed to give her grandkids if you wait a year to start dating again? You’re not getting any younger.’

I laugh. ‘Thanks. I didn’t know 33 was that old.’

‘It’s not, but you know what I mean. By the time you meet someone, get engaged, and get married, you could be almost 40, especially if you wait a year to start dating.’

I’m dreading dating again, starting over from scratch.

I’m not sure I even remember how to date.

I was with Chris since high school, except for a few months when we were 20 and not sure we wanted to get married.

We both tried dating other people during those months and all I remember is that I didn’t like it.

The dates always felt awkward and I never felt any kind of connection with the guy.

I think that’s why I went back to Chris.

He was my safe place, because he was familiar and reminded me of home.

We were living in California and I missed my family and Haydon Falls.

Chris was the closest thing I had to home without actually being there.

‘I made so many mistakes,’ I say.

‘What do you mean?’ Diane asks with concern.

‘Marrying Chris. Moving to LA. Not going to college.’

‘You went to college.’

‘Community college, and I went when I was 26. I missed out on going to college when everyone else did and living on campus.’

‘It wasn’t that great. Just a lot of getting drunk at parties and feeling like crap the next day.’

I smile at her. ‘You loved college. You met Tom there. But it’s sweet of you to try to make it sound horrible for my sake.’

‘I’m just saying, it’s not as great as they make it look in the movies.’ She slows down as we approach a sharp curve on a road that’s surrounded by trees. It’s such a beautiful area. Sometimes I really miss my hometown.

‘Why don’t you move back?’ Diane asks, like she was reading my mind. ‘Your mom’s here. You have friends here. And there’s no chance of you running into Chris now that his parents moved to Florida.’

‘I don’t want to move back here. What would I do for a job?’

‘I’m sure you could find something. Oh! I have an even better idea! You could move to New York.’

‘Why New York?’

‘Because it’s where a very handsome lawyer lives.’

I laugh. ‘Yeah, I don’t think so. I’m sure he already thinks I’m crazy for asking him out at the grocery store. He’d get a restraining order on me if he found out I’d moved to New York just to be with him.’

‘Are you kidding? It’d be his dream come true. I’m telling you, Lyndsay, the guy totally wanted you back in high school.’

‘I don’t believe you, but even if he did have a crush on me, that was 15 years ago. He’s changed. He’s not the same person now. Neither am I.’

‘All the more reason to get to know him again.’ She pulls into the driveway of Matt’s house and turns to me.

‘Just go in there and be yourself. Don’t try to impress him or pretend you’re someone you’re not.

And relax. It’s just Nick from high school.

If it helps, imagine him like he used to look, the cute nerd with braces and glasses. ’

I glance behind her, noticing someone coming out of Matt’s house. ‘Oh, shit, it’s him. He’s coming out here.’

Diane puts the minivan in park, leaving it running as she gets out. ‘Hey, Nick, good to see you again.’

She gives him a hug as I get out of the minivan and meet up with them. ‘Hey, Nick.’

‘Hey.’ He smiles and pulls me in for a hug. I wasn’t expecting it and stand there with my arms at my sides, too flustered from the feel of his muscular arms around me and the intoxicating smell of his cologne, to hug him back.

‘Well, I should get going,’ Diane says as Nick lets me go. ‘I’ve got to go pick up the kids.’

‘How old are your kids?’ Nick asks, smiling at Diane.

‘Leah is seven and Adam is five.’ She looks over at me. ‘Just call me when you’re ready to leave.’

‘I can take her home,’ Nick says.

‘That’d be great!’ Diane smiles at me. ‘Have a good time!’

Why is she so insistent on playing matchmaker? Nick and I don’t even live in the same state. We’re on separate coasts. It would never work. Maybe he’s not even interested in dating. Maybe all his focus is on his career.

Why am I doing this? I just got divorced. It’s too soon to date. But this isn’t a date. It’s just dinner. Dinner with old friends. So why am I so nervous?