Page 29 of Keep My Heart (The Haydon Falls #1)

Lyndsay

‘The dinner was wonderful,’ I say to Martha.

‘I’m glad you enjoyed it.’ She looks around the table, smiling. ‘It’s nice having everyone here. It’s rare I get all my boys in one place. They’re all so busy now, and of course with Nick in New York it’s even harder.’

‘But it sounds like he’s very successful,’ my mom says.

‘About to make partner,’ Mr. Kanfield proudly says.

‘Not yet,’ Nick says, ‘but I’m working on it.’

I’ve been trying not to stare at Nick all night, but I keep doing it. He wore a shirt and tie to the party and paired it with jeans, the perfect look for dinner in the barn. We had the party out here since the tables were already set up and we still had all the decorations from the night before.

I’m doing it again. I’m staring at Nick.

He’s just so damn handsome. And today in the fields .

.?. I’m getting hot just thinking about it.

He wasn’t wearing a shirt and I couldn’t take my eyes off his muscular chest and arms and his washboard abs.

Even Chris never looked that good back when he was playing football and worked out all the time.

If you saw him now, you’d never guess he used to be an athlete.

He’s put on at least 40 pounds and none of it is muscle.

Most of it went to his stomach. I used to ask him to work out with me, but he wouldn’t do it.

He’s not even close to looking like the guy I dated in high school.

I think that’s why he won’t go to the reunion.

He doesn’t want anyone seeing him like that.

‘I’ll be right back,’ Nick says, getting up.

‘Where’s he going?’ Brody asks, looking to see where Nick went.

‘Shut up,’ Sawyer whispers to him. ‘It’s a surprise.’

Nick returns holding a huge chocolate cake. He sets it on the table and I see ‘Congratulations, Lyndsay!’ written on top in pink frosting. Around it are math symbols and a math book.

‘Nick, I love it!’ I jump up and run to the end of the table to give him a hug. ‘Thank you!’

‘He had to get Agnes to open the bakery for that,’ my mom says. ‘She’s usually closed on Sundays.’

‘How’d you get her to come in?’ I ask Nick.

‘I promised her Broadway tickets for a show she wants to see. She’s going to New York in August to see her granddaughter.’

‘Nick, you have to let me pay you for those.’

‘Yeah, that’s not happening. Go try your cake.’

Martha gets the knife to cut it.

‘Wait!’ I run to the table to get my phone. ‘I need a picture!’

‘I’ll take it,’ Nick says, coming over to me.

‘You should be in it too since you’re the reason I did it.’ I look up at him, wishing he knew how much he meant to me. How much he inspired me to go back to school. How he made me believe in myself more than anyone else.

He catches my eye and I get that feeling again, the one that tells me there’s so much more to this relationship than just a friendship. I wish it could be more. I wish he wanted that and that we could find a way to make it work.

‘I’ll take it,’ Jason says, getting up.

I give Jason my camera as Nick picks up the cake.

‘Where do you want to stand?’ he asks.

‘Under the banner.’

Nick got me a graduation banner and balloons. I don’t know when he had time to do all this but it melts my heart knowing he did. I’m trying to stop having feelings for him, but he keeps doing things that make it impossible not to.

‘Stand closer,’ Jason instructs as he aims the camera at us.

I move closer to Nick, close enough that our sides are touching.

He’s wearing that great cologne and it’s driving me wild.

These past few days have revealed to me a side of myself I didn’t know I had.

A wild, passionate side that makes me want to do things with Nick, things I was never that interested in doing with Chris.

Our sex life was never good, but it’s all I knew so I never questioned it.

I thought my lack of desire was normal and that women just don’t get aroused the way men do.

It wasn’t until this weekend that I realized that isn’t true.

Just being around Nick arouses me. The sexual tension between us is almost unbearable and yet we’re acting like it doesn’t exist. The only time we even hinted at it was yesterday in the kitchen, but then Nick acted like he regretted it.

I understand why he doesn’t want to act on our attraction to each other.

He’s going away, and there’s a good chance I won’t see him again, but if he were willing to take things all the way tonight, I’d do it. And I wouldn’t regret it.

‘I think I got some good ones,’ Jason says, coming up to me to give me the camera.

‘You want any others?’ Nick asks. ‘Like maybe you and your mom? ’

‘Yeah, that’s a good idea.’ I wave at her. ‘Mom, come over here!’

‘Oh, honey, you know I hate having my picture taken,’ she says as she makes her way over to me.

‘You look great, Mom.’ I put my arm around her and Jason takes the picture.

When he’s done, my mom turns to me and whispers, ‘I’m so proud of you.’

I tear up when she says it. She wanted to come to my graduation, but I didn’t want her spending the money.

She doesn’t have much, and what little she has, I’d like her to spend on herself.

I almost bought her a plane ticket, but then Chris insisted we go to Vegas so she didn’t need to make the trip.

We have the cake, which is delicious and big enough that it’ll take us all week to finish.

As I sip my coffee and look around the table at my mom talking to Martha, and Nick talking to his dad, and Jason and Sawyer laughing about something Brody said, I realize how much I miss being here and being around family and friends.

I have friends in LA, but they’re not like the ones I have here, who would do most anything for me.

Even Nick’s brothers, who I really don’t know that well, would help me without question if I needed it.

Like in high school when my car broke down and Sawyer gave me a ride home.

I knew him from school, but we weren’t friends and had hardly even talked before that day.

But he saw I needed help, called for a tow truck, and gave me a ride home.

‘I think it’s time I call it a night,’ Mr. Kanfield says, getting up. ‘I’ve got to be up early tomorrow.’ He walks over to me as I stand up. ‘I’m glad we could do this for you. Next time you’re in town, come back again. I can’t promise you a party, but we’ll give you a damn fine dinner.’

‘Thank you, Mr. Kanfield.’

He gives me a hug. ‘Have a safe trip back.’

‘I will.’ I smile at him as I sit back down beside Nick.

‘Goodnight everyone,’ Mr. Kanfield says as he leaves.

We all tell him goodnight.

‘I should get started on the dishes,’ Martha says, getting up.

‘We got it, Mom,’ Sawyer says, motioning his brothers to help out.

‘You boys need to get home,’ she says. ‘Go ahead and go.’

‘Too late,’ Sawyer says. ‘Once we start, we gotta finish.’ He nods toward Nick and me. ‘You two can get out of here. We got this.’

‘Thanks,’ Nick says, pushing away from the table. ‘Sorry about the beer tasting. Next time I’m home, okay?’

‘By then I’ll be doing my winter brews,’ he says as he stacks the plates.

‘I’ll be home before then.’ Nick helps me with my chair. ‘Ready to go?’

‘I think so.’ I stand up, holding my stomach. ‘I’m so full I can barely walk.’

‘You two have fun!’ Martha says as we leave.

I wonder what she thinks we’re going to do. Nick’s whole family kept looking at us like we’re a couple, which makes me think he told them something about us. But he couldn’t have told them we’re dating after telling me we’re not.

‘Where should we go?’ I ask as Nick helps me into the truck. I wore a dress, which makes it difficult to climb in.

‘Well, our options on a Sunday night in a small town are limited. Give me a minute.’ He goes around the truck and gets in on the driver’s side. ‘There’s the grocery store, the drugstore. Any of those sound fun?’

I laugh. ‘Not really.’

‘How about a drink? A congratulatory cocktail? ’

‘That sounds good, but I’m overdressed for the bars around here.’

‘We could go to Clancie’s. It’s that new restaurant that opened. It’s nice, or nice for around here. It’s where I was going to take you to dinner tonight.’

‘Yeah, let’s go there. My mom mentioned that it’d opened, but she didn’t say much about it other than that it’s expensive.’

‘It’s not expensive. Well, not compared to New York.’

‘Are you looking forward to going back?’

‘Not at all. I’ll have about a million things to do when I get back to work and I’m sure the landlord didn’t fix the sink in my apartment, so I’ll have to deal with that. It takes like three or four requests before anything gets fixed.’

He didn’t list us as a reason he doesn’t want to go back, but that shouldn’t surprise me. There is no us. I’m worried we won’t even be friends once we’re back to our regular lives. People always say they’ll stay in touch, but it never happens.

‘What can I get you to drink?’ the waitress asks when we’re seated at the restaurant. She hands us some menus.

‘I’ll have a glass of merlot,’ I tell her.

‘Jack and Coke,’ Nick says. ‘And we don’t need menus.’ He hands them to her. ‘We’re just having drinks.’

She takes the menus, smiling at him. ‘I’ll be right back.

‘What do you think?’ Nick asks, looking around. ‘It’s not great, but it’s fancy compared to what was here before.’

It used to be a barbecue restaurant, but the owner retired last year. The whole place has been renovated with black-and-white tile floors, black booths and tables, and white pendant lights hanging from the ceiling.

‘The design is nice. Modern. Kind of a big city look.’

‘That’s what I was thinking. I’m not sure how popular it’ll be around here. I’m thinking Sawyer’s place has a better chance of staying in business.’

‘Is he going to serve food?’

‘Not right away. He’d like to eventually, but for now he’s focusing on the beer.’