Page 12 of Keep My Heart (The Haydon Falls #1)

Lyndsay

When we get to the brewery, Nick unlocks the door and we go inside. The lights are off except for the ones behind the bar, giving the place a dimly lit, almost romantic feel.

‘Can I get you something to drink?’ Nick asks.

‘Maybe just some water. I’ve had enough drinks for tonight.’

He goes behind the bar to a cooler and takes out two bottles of water. He walks back to me and hands me the water.

‘Let’s sit over here.’ He goes to a table, then nods toward the hall that leads to the stairs. ‘I’ll be able to see if Sawyer comes downstairs. I doubt he will, but you never know.’

‘Why do you care?’ I ask, sitting down.

‘I don’t want him interrupting us.’ He opens his bottle of water and takes a sip.

What does he think Sawyer might interrupt?

Is Nick planning to kiss me again? I wish that would happen, but I don’t think it will.

That kiss he gave me earlier was the kind that could lead to something more, something that would make us cross the friend line, which isn’t a good idea.

It’d make me want to date him for real, and I can’t. We live on separate coasts.

‘So tell me about LA,’ Nick says, leaning back in his chair. ‘How do you like it?’

‘It’s okay. I like the weather.’

‘You think you’ll stay there?’

‘I don’t know. The past few months I’ve been so focused on getting through the divorce that I never really considered what I’d do when it’s finally over.’

‘How are you feeling? Now that it’s over.’

That’s another thing I always loved about Nick.

He’d always ask how I’m doing and seemed to actually care.

I didn’t always open up to him, thinking he didn’t want to hear about whatever teenage drama I was going through, but in the few times I did tell him, he actually listened.

Aside from Diane, Nick is the only person in my life that’s ever made me feel heard.

My parents never did. They’re good people and I love them, but I never felt like they listened to me.

They chose to hear what they wanted instead of what I actually said.

‘Be honest,’ Nick says. ‘I don’t want some bullshit story about how you’re doing great and just happy to get rid of him. Or about how it’s been over for years and the divorce was just a formality.’

‘Have you been listening to my conversations?’ I joke, but I’m serious. What he just said is what I’ve been telling people when they ask how I’m doing.

‘I’ve heard that shit from my clients. I don’t do a lot of divorces, but I’ve done a few, and when I ask them how they’re doing, those are the responses I get.’

‘Maybe they’re telling the truth.’

‘Or maybe they don’t want to admit how much it hurts to see the life you thought you’d have crumble into pieces. Even if you hated the person, you’re still having to say goodbye to something you thought would last forever. You can’t tell me that doesn’t hurt.’

‘It does.’ I look down at the table. ‘And it doesn’t make sense. The thing you said about it being over years ago is true. So why does it hurt so much? I should be happy about this. It’s what I wanted.’

Nick leans toward me and puts his hand over mine. ‘What you wanted was a guy who loved you and supported you and paid attention to you and did everything he could to make you happy.’

‘Maybe that’s too much to ask for,’ I say with a humorless laugh.

‘It’s not. Just look at my parents. They’ve been married forever and they’re more in love now than on their wedding day.

They still hold hands. My dad still brings her flowers.

My mom still makes his favorite meals. And now my dad’s throwing her this surprise party, which is totally out of his comfort zone.

He’s never thrown a party, but he wanted to do something special for her birthday. ’

I look up at Nick. ‘I don’t think that kind of love exists anymore, or if it does, it’s rare.’

‘That doesn’t mean you give up on finding it. You’re a beautiful woman with a beautiful heart. You deserve better than you had with him. I don’t know what went on with you two, but I have an idea based on how much you’ve changed.’

‘What do you mean?’

‘You used to be the girl who smiled all the time and laughed so hard you’d have tears in your eyes and got all crazy when you saw a puppy.

And your voice, you always sounded excited, even when you weren’t.

You had so much life to you, Lyndsay. You had this light about you, and now . .?. it’s like it burned out.’

I get up from my chair and walk away, keeping my back to him so he doesn’t see the tears in my eyes. Why does he have to be so damn observant? And why is he pointing this out? I know I’ve lost a part of myself being with Chris, but I don’t want to be reminded of it.

‘Lyndsay?’ Nick’s behind me now, his hand on my shoulder.

‘I should go,’ I say, sniffling and wiping my eyes. ‘Could you take me home?’

‘Lyndsay, I’m sorry,’ he says, turning me around. ‘I didn’t mean to upset you. I only said that because I wanted you to be honest with me. I know what you’re going through has gotta hurt like hell and I just .?.?. I’m just trying to be a friend.’

‘I know,’ I say, nodding as I wipe the tears from my face. ‘It’s just what you said, I didn’t want to hear it.’

‘Why? Because you—’

‘Because I don’t know how to get her back!’ I yell. I hear a noise upstairs and remember Sawyer is up there, trying to sleep. ‘Shit,’ I whisper. ‘I forgot about Sawyer.’

‘He’ll be fine. He’ll go back to sleep.’ Nick pulls me into his arms. ‘You’ll get her back. It’ll just take time.’

‘I don’t even know that girl anymore. I’m not sure she’s even there.’

‘She is. I saw a glimpse of her tonight when I asked you to pretend date me.’

‘You did?’ I look up at him.

‘Your eyes lit up. You got some excitement back in your voice.’

‘That might’ve been the wine.’

‘It wasn’t. I remember that girl pretty damn well, and I know I saw a glimpse of her tonight.’

I’m not sure how that’s possible given how I’ve been feeling, but I did feel better being with Nick tonight. There were some moments where my mind didn’t even think of Chris or the divorce or the empty apartment I’ll be going home to.

‘You’ve been a good distraction,’ I say, pulling away from him .

‘How about I distract you again tomorrow?’

‘You can’t. You have the party.’

‘I don’t have to be there until the afternoon. My morning’s free.’

‘Don’t you want to do stuff with your brothers?’

‘I see them all the time. I haven’t seen you in 15 years. I’ll take you to breakfast. Maury’s Chicken Roost. Best pancakes in town. What do you say?’

I smile. ‘I do love Maury’s pancakes. But my mom will want me to have breakfast with her.’

‘We’ll bring her with.’

‘On a date?’

‘This is a date?’

‘Isn’t it?’

‘I thought it was just breakfast, but okay, sure. It’s a date.’

‘You said you’d pretend to date me. Tonight wasn’t enough.’ I throw my hands in the air. ‘I haven’t dated in years! I need some serious help here!’

He laughs. ‘There’s that excitement again. See? The old Lyndsay is coming back.’

‘That wasn’t excitement. That was panic. Just the idea of dating is making me feel sick.’ I sigh. ‘Nick, I don’t know if I can do this. I’m so out of practice. Everything’s changed.’

‘Okay, how about this? We go on a few more fake dates until I leave on Monday, and after that, we work together over the phone and online.’

‘What do you mean by work together?’

‘I’ll be your tutor again, but this time I’ll tutor you on dating instead of algebra.’

‘Really? Or is this a joke?’

‘I’m serious. I’m not an expert on dating, but I definitely got a lot of experience the past 15 years. You can ask me questions. We can do practice dates over the computer. Whatever you want.’

‘Oh, Nick, you’re amazing!’ I say, hugging him. ‘I can’t thank you enough for doing this.’ I pull back. ‘But are you sure you’ll have time? You must work like 100 hours a week.’

‘I’ll make time.’ He takes my hand. ‘Let’s go sit down. We have a lot to catch up on.’

We talk until three in the morning. I would’ve talked longer if I wasn’t staying with my mom. I texted her and told her Diane and I were having a girls’ night and that I wouldn’t be home until late and not to wait up for me.

‘You’re way past curfew,’ Nick kids as he walks me to the door.

My mom left the porch light on. I wouldn’t be surprised if she slept in the chair in the living room, just so she’d know when I got home. I wish she’d treat me like an adult instead of like I’m 16.

‘I’ll probably get grounded,’ I say.

‘Not if you tell her you were with me. Your mom loves me for helping you pass math.’

‘You’re right, she does,’ I say, smiling. ‘Well, goodnight. I’ll see you tomorrow, or I guess in a few hours for breakfast.’ I turn to the door.

‘Lyndsay.’

‘Yeah?’ I turn back.

Nick steps up to me and wraps his hands around my face. He kisses me, like he did earlier, a soft, gentle kiss that makes me feel like I’m melting inside. He doesn’t use tongue this time, just his lips, but it’s still making sparks go off inside me.

He slowly back away. ‘I’ll see you at breakfast.’

Then he walks off, back to his car.

I remain on the porch. I feel like I can’t move, my legs weak from that incredible kiss. How does he do it? How does he get me so worked up from just a kiss?

He’s in the car now but hasn’t left. He’s waiting for me to go inside. That’s Nick, caring about my safety. He’s such a nice guy, but also a really hot, bold, confident guy that I can’t believe is the same guy who tutored me in high school.

When I go in the house, the lamp is on but my mom’s not in her chair. I sneak upstairs to my room and realize I don’t have my suitcase. I left it at Diane’s house. Oh well, I’ll get it tomorrow.

Diane’s not going to believe what happened tonight. I can hardly believe it myself.

Nick kissed me. Maybe it was real or maybe it was fake. Either way, it was the best kiss of my life.