Page 39 of Keep My Heart (The Haydon Falls #1)

Lyndsay

‘I can’t believe you guys did it!’ Diane says, racing into my room and shutting the door.

I smile and lay down on my bed. ‘It was so good. I can’t even describe how good it was.’

‘Really?’ she says, like she doesn’t believe me. ‘Huh.’ She sits beside me on the bed. ‘I guess I thought Nick would be kind of .?.?. shy, hesitant, unsure of himself.’

‘Not at all. Not even a little. If anything, he made Chris look that way. I always assumed Chris knew what he was doing because he’d been with so many girls before me.’

‘And while he was with you,’ Diane mutters with disgust. Chris cheated on me twice in high school and probably also during our marriage, but I could never prove it.

‘But compared to Nick, Chris was like an awkward teenager trying to figure out how to do it. He never even cared if I finished. It was all about him.’

‘Then why the hell did you stay with him all those years? ’

‘Because I didn’t want to be divorced. I wanted the fairytale. The happily ever after.’

‘With Chris?’ she says, scrunching up her nose.

‘Hey, I was young.’ I sit up, crossing my legs in front of me.

‘I didn’t know a lot back then. I thought if a guy said he loved me that he really did.

I didn’t know he’d say it just to have sex with me.

I didn’t have sisters to talk to, and I wasn’t going to talk to my mom about this.

’ I cringe, just imagining that. My mom and I aren’t close that way.

We don’t talk about sex or dating or guys. She never even gave me the sex talk.

‘You had friends to talk to.’

‘Who all thought Chris was a god. They didn’t care what he did. They would’ve taken his side and told me I should be grateful to have the guy every girl wanted.’

‘Not me. I would’ve told you to dump his ass.’

‘And I did, twice, but he begged me to give him another chance.’ I sigh. ‘I don’t want to talk about Chris. I just want to think about Nick and about our future together.’

‘I know Nick is a great guy, but don’t you think you’re kind of rushing into this?’

‘No. He’s not some guy I just met. I’ve known him forever.’

‘You knew the Nick from 15 years ago. You’re just getting to know adult Nick. People change from high school. Just look at us. I’ve definitely changed and so have you.’

‘Yes, but Nick has changed for the better. He’s mature. He has a successful career. He’s more confident and bold and definitely better looking.’

‘But you still don’t really know him. You’ve only spent a few days with him and you’re only seeing what you want. Nobody’s perfect. Nick has his flaws like everyone else.’

‘Why are you doing this?’ I get up from the bed. ‘I’m finally happy with a guy and you’re telling me to let him go? ’

‘That’s not what I’m saying.’ She gets up and stands in front of me. ‘I’m glad he makes you happy. I just want you to be careful. You tend to believe what people tell you, even if they’re just telling you what you want to hear.’

‘So you’re saying I’m stupid.’ I walk to my closet. ‘You know what, Diane? I don’t need your help finding something to wear. Despite how stupid I am, I think I got this.’ I yank a red dress from the closet.

‘Lyndsay, that is not what I said.’ She comes over to me and takes the dress, shoving it back in the closet. She faces me, her hands on her hips. ‘All I’m saying is that this is moving really fast. Maybe you should give it more time before you move to New York.’

I throw my hands up. ‘Would you make up your mind? One minute you’re telling me to date him and the next you’re telling me to stay away from him!’

‘I’m not saying you can’t date him. I just don’t think you should rush into moving there.

Maybe you could just go out there for a few weeks, spend more time with Nick, and decide if this is really something you’d want.

Moving across the country is a big deal, especially if it’s for a guy you’ve only been out with a few times. ’

‘Diane, I know you’re only trying to help, but really, I’ve got this.

I know what I want, and I want to be with Nick.

I don’t need more time to decide. And really, what’s the risk?

There’s no reason for me to stay in LA. I have no family there.

I don’t like my job. I’ll just be going back to an empty apartment in a place I don’t even want to live. ’

‘You could move here for a few months. You could go see Nick on the weekends, then come back here and have some time for yourself. ’

‘I don’t need time for myself.’ I walk away from her. ‘Diane, why are you so against me being with Nick?’

‘I’m not. But after a long marriage, it’s easy to lose yourself. Taking time to get to know yourself again is a good thing. It’s healthy. And it keeps you from losing yourself again with Nick.’

‘That’s not going to happen. Nick isn’t Chris. He doesn’t tell me what to do or make it all about him. He supports me.’

‘By making you give up your life in LA and move across the country to be with him?’

‘He didn’t force me to do it. I told you how bad he felt asking me to move, and he left it up to me to decide. Now would you stop trying to protect me and let me live my life?’

She nods. ‘You’re right. It’s your life.’ She goes back to the closet. ‘I don’t think I like the red one.’ She takes it out and holds it up. ‘What do you think?’

‘It’s too fancy. I want something more fun. Maybe the pink one.’

She finds it and brings it over to me. ‘This one would look great with your tan, and I like that it’s shorter, not so serious. Try it on!’

And just like that, we’re back to being friends.

I love Diane because we can argue without staying mad.

What I don’t love about her is what she said about Nick.

She acts like he’s just another version of Chris, which isn’t even close to the truth.

Nick is nothing like Chris, and unlike Chris, I trust Nick.

He’s not going to hurt me like Chris did.

He cares about me. He might even love me.

Diane’s just being cautious, but she doesn’t know Nick like I do. To her, he’s a hot-shot lawyer from New York, not the small-town boy we knew in high school.

‘I love it! It’s perfect!’ Diane gushes as I spin around in the dress .

It’s a hot pink, sparkly dress I got for a party years ago.

It conforms to my body, has tiny straps at the top, and ends about mid-thigh.

I like the dress, but feel like I might be too old to wear it now.

That’s why it’s here at my mom’s house, along with some other dresses I never wear and should probably get rid of.

I’m storing them here because I don’t have much closet space in my apartment and Chris never took me anywhere nice enough for me to wear a dress.

‘Are you sure?’ I yank the dress down. ‘It’s kind of tight and really short.’

‘On a body like yours? It’s perfect. Every guy there’s going to be staring at you.’

‘I only care about one of them,’ I say, smiling as I look at myself in the mirror.

‘What about your hair? Are you wearing it down?’

‘I think so. And I think I’ll straighten it.’

‘I think you should wear it like it is. Those natural waves you have are gorgeous. Women pay a fortune to get their hair that way in a salon.’

‘I guess I could leave it.’

I’m so used to straightening it because that’s how Chris liked it. I rarely wore it natural. But seeing it now, with its loose bouncy waves, I kind of like it like this.

‘What about jewelry?’ Diane walks over to my dresser where my jewelry is lined up. I didn’t bring much, not thinking I’d wear it while I was home. ‘Are these real?’ She holds up two diamond stud earrings.

‘No.’ I laugh as I walk over to her. ‘Chris and I barely had money for groceries. There’s no way we’d spend money on jewelry.’ I take the earrings from her and put them on.

‘They look great!’ Diane says, smiling at me. ‘And with the sparkles in that dress, I don’t think you need a necklace. ’

‘I don’t think so either. So I guess I’m all set.’

‘I need to head out.’ She walks to the door. ‘I have to make sure Tom showers before he gets dressed. He’s been out golfing and getting all sweaty, but for some reason he thinks showers are limited to one a day.’ She rolls her eyes. ‘Men.’

I laugh. ‘Thanks for your help. I’ll see you there.’

She leaves, and I take off the dress and go in the bathroom to shower. Nick is picking me up at six and taking me to dinner before the reunion. I’m a little nervous about going with him, knowing people will wonder what we’re doing together and why I’m not with Chris.

Just before six, Nick shows up at my door in a light gray suit, white dress shirt, and blue tie, looking sophisticated and hot.

I can’t believe I’m dating him. There’s still that part of me that thinks I’m not good enough, that I don’t deserve him.

But I am good enough, and I do deserve him.

Nick believes that, and I should too. I just need to keep telling myself that until it sinks in.

All my years with Chris had me doubting myself, doubting my self worth, but he’s gone now and it’s time I let go of those doubts.

‘Wow.’ Nick’s eyes widen as he looks at me in the dress. ‘Lyndsay, you look incredible.’

‘Thanks!’ I reach up and kiss him. ‘You look great in that suit.’

‘I feel like I’m at work. This is what I wear every day.’

‘And you don’t have a girlfriend?’ I check him out, noticing how perfectly the suit fits him. ‘How is that possible?’

‘I was holding out for one girl in particular.’ He pulls me into his arms. ‘But I never in a million years thought she’d actually go out with me.’

‘I guess dreams come true sometimes.’

‘I guess so.’ He takes my hand and leads me over to Sawyer’s shiny black convertible .

‘We get Sawyer’s car?’ I ask.

‘He loaned it to me. I thought it’d be easier to get into than Dad’s truck.’ Nick opens the door for me.

‘Tell him thanks,’ I say as I get into the car. ‘This is definitely easier.’