Page 19 of Keep My Heart (The Haydon Falls #1)

Lyndsay

Why didn’t I marry someone like Nick? Someone who’s kind and supportive and smart and can fix stuff. He’s like the perfect guy, but back in high school I never saw myself dating him. I was too focused on Chris.

But now? All I can think about is Nick. I want these fake dates to be real, but I know that’ll just lead to me missing him more when he leaves.

I’m trying to keep my heart out of this, but when he does things like help out my mom or insists on taking me out to celebrate my graduation, I feel myself falling for him in a way I didn’t expect.

I just got out of my marriage. I shouldn’t be feeling this way for another guy so soon after getting divorced.

We’re back at my mom’s house now, dropping off the part for the dishwasher. As we’re standing in the kitchen, about to leave, Nick’s phone dings.

He checks it. ‘It’s Brody. Jason and him just got to Sawyer’s. He’s asking when I’ll be over. I’ll tell him I’ll see them at the party.’ He starts to text him.

‘Wait.’ I walk up to him. ‘Why don’t you just go? ’

‘Because I’m going out with you.’

‘We can go out later. You should spend time with your brothers. You don’t see them much.’

‘I see them more than I see you. And we don’t have much time left for you to practice dating. We need to go out.’

‘Maybe I could come with you.’

‘Where? To hang out with my brothers?’

‘Yeah. It’s the whole meet the family thing. Like you said, it’s part of dating, right? Meeting the family?’

‘But you already know my family.’

‘And you already know my mom, but you still came inside to meet her.’ I rest my hand on his arm and look up at him.

‘We’re pretending, remember? This is just practice for the real thing.

And I haven’t seen your brothers since high school.

They’re all grown up now. It’ll be like I’m meeting them for the first time. ’

Nick smiles. ‘You really want to hang out with my brothers?’

I smile back. ‘I’d love to, if you don’t mind.’

‘I’d rather have you all to myself, but if you really want to do this, then yeah, we can go over there.’

When he says things like that—that he wants me to himself—it makes me think he wants to date me for real. But he’s made it clear that’s not what he wants. He keeps saying he doesn’t have time for a girlfriend and that he needs to focus on work.

‘I told him we’ll be over in a few minutes,’ Nick says, sending the text. He slides his phone in his pocket. ‘You sure about this? Because I’d be happy to take you out.’

‘Nick, I want to do this. It’ll be fun to see all the Kanfield boys again.’

‘I used to get really annoyed when people called us that. It’s like we were all the same, like we didn’t have our own identity.’

‘Sorry, I didn’t mean anything by it.’

‘No, it’s fine. I actually like it now, although men would be better than boys.’ He chuckles. ‘I think we’ve all outgrown being called boys. Brody’s six five now, taller than all of us.’

‘How tall are you?’ I ask, looking up at him.

‘Six three, same as Jason and Sawyer.’

‘Your parents made some tall boys, I mean men.’ I remain in front of him, wishing he’d kiss me. I know he shouldn’t since we’re not actually dating, but I love how I feel when he kisses me and I’m starting to crave it whenever he’s around, especially when we’re close like this.

‘Nick?’ I say, sounding breathless, my heart thundering in my chest. I shouldn’t do this. But I really want to.

‘Yeah?’

I hold on to his shoulders and reach up on my toes and kiss him. I make it quick and wait to see what he’ll do. Our eyes meet for just a second, but it’s long enough for me to see his desire and feel that intense spark between us.

He grabs me around the waist and kisses me back, a scorching hot kiss that sends tingles down my core. He backs me up and lifts me up on the counter, his lips returning to mine as his hands rest on my legs, just below the hem of my dress.

‘Tell me to stop,’ he whispers over my mouth.

I shake my head and hear him groan. He pushes my dress up higher and spreads my legs, then yanks me to the edge of the counter.

His large hands grip my thighs as he kisses me again, his soft lips moving gently over mine.

The tingles I felt before have exploded throughout my body, making me feel alive in a way I never have, not even in all my years with Chris.

Maybe I trust Nick more, or maybe it’s because I’m older and more experienced. Or maybe he’s just really good at this.

I had a friend in LA that used to tell me that smart, studious guys make the best lovers. Maybe she was right. I’d like to test that theory, but I can’t, not with Nick. He’s just a friend, and he’s leaving.

He kisses the side of my neck as he slides off the straps of my dress.

It has a built-in bra so when he lowers the dress to my waist, my top half is exposed.

When his mouth moves to my breast, I’m filled with more of those pleasurable tingles.

I lean back, pushing my chest out, wanting more.

If he keeps this up, I’m going to come right here in the kitchen.

If my mom knew I was doing this on her counter, she’d kill me, but there’s no way I’m stopping this.

It’s too good. I never would’ve guessed Nick had these kind of skills, although the kisses he gave me earlier should’ve been a clue.

When his hand slides under my dress, under my panties, my head falls back against the cabinet.

I’m panting, moaning, wishing I could touch him, but I’m too wrapped up in how I’m feeling to do anything right now.

My head’s spinning. The pleasure’s building.

My body’s writhing under Nick’s touch, trying to get closer but then pulling away, not ready for this to end.

His lips return to mine and his tongue slips in my mouth.

It’s a slow, sensual kiss and so damn good.

His fingers are pumping in and out of me, his thumb circling my clit.

I’m drowning in a type of pleasure I’ve never known, never experienced, breathing so hard I feel like I could pass out.

His thumb presses down harder and his fingers plunge deeper.

‘Nick!’ I cry out, grabbing hold of his shirt as the most glorious feeling pulses through me. He rests his forehead against mine and slowly removes his hand from between my legs. I take a moment to catch my breath and feel Nick pulling away.

I open my eyes and see him looking at me. He almost looks regretful, like he shouldn’t have done it. But I wanted him to. What he just did was incredible.

‘We should go,’ he says, heading to the door .

I put the straps of my dress back in place, then jump off the counter and race to catch up with him. ‘What’s wrong?’

‘Nothing. We just need to get going. Your mom will be back soon.’

‘Don’t you want to talk about this?’

He stops and turns to me. ‘I shouldn’t have done it. I took it too far.’

‘It wasn’t too far. Why would you say that?’

‘I don’t want you thinking I’m only helping you out to .?.?.’ He glances away. ‘Be with you that way.’

‘I don’t.’ I grip his arm. ‘Nick, look at me.’ I wait until he does. ‘You’re a great guy, and I know you’d never use me like that. What happened just now is what I wanted, and I think you might’ve wanted it too.’

He blows out a breath. ‘I did, but that’s the problem. We almost—’ He shakes his head.

‘Nick, we’re both adults. We didn’t do anything wrong. And doing more wouldn’t be wrong either. I mean, if we both wanted that.’

His phone dings. ‘That’s probably Sawyer. We should get over there.’

He doesn’t want to talk about it. Nick and I have always been able to talk about most anything, but maybe that’s not true anymore.

Or maybe he needs time to process this and accept that it’s not wrong.

I need to do that too. There’s a part of me that still feels a loyalty to Chris, but I shouldn’t.

He’s not my husband anymore. Even when he was, we hadn’t been intimate for over a year.

We didn’t even live together for most of the last six months.

So why would I feel even an ounce of guilt about being with Nick?

I can be with whoever I want. It’s not wrong.

‘I don’t regret it,’ I say. ‘Do you?’

‘No.’ He leans down and kisses me, a quick friend-like kiss, nothing like the hot passionate kiss he gave me just moments ago. I hope that doesn’t mean he’s changed his mind about the fake-dating thing. I want to keep seeing him before he has to leave.

He takes my hand and we go out to the driveway. Holding my hand is a good sign, so maybe the fake dating thing will keep going. Nick isn’t someone who goes back on his word. If he commits to something, he follows through.

When we get to the brewery, I see a sign outside saying it’s closed today.

Sawyer mentioned last night that he’d be closing the place so he could go to his mom’s party.

He doesn’t have enough staff yet to keep it open.

Right now, it’s just him and the bartender he hired.

I’m impressed he’s doing this. Opening a business is a lot of work, and keeping it open in a small town like this could be a challenge.

Hopefully, the town’s loyalty to the Kanfield name will be enough to draw in a crowd every night.

‘About time you got here,’ Brody says as Nick and I walk in. Brody looks completely different than when I saw him last. He was only 11 then, which means he’s around 26 now. He shot up in height and filled out with muscle, and his brown hair is darker than I remember.

‘What are you drinking?’ Sawyer asks from the bar.

‘I’ll take the lager,’ Nick yells back.

‘I was asking Lyndsay. Ladies first. Where’s your manners?’ Sawyer smiles at me. ‘What can I get you?’

‘I’ll do the pale ale.’

‘Good choice,’ he says, going to fill the glass.

‘Lyndsay?’ Brody says, eyeing me. ‘You’re not the Lyndsay who—’

‘The one I used to tutor,’ Nick says, interrupting him.

‘No shit?’ Jason walks up to us. ‘I thought you moved to California.’

‘I did, but I’m back visiting my mom. ’

Jason’s as tall as Nick with thick dark hair and the start of a beard.

Looking at Nick, Brody, and Jason standing next to each other, I can’t believe how good they look.

They’re all really hot, although Nick’s the hottest, at least to me.

I’m still burning up from what he did to me.

How in the world is he still single? How are any of these guys single?

Girls would be crazy not to date them, or maybe they do, but the guys just don’t want to commit.

Jason looks between Nick and me. ‘How did this happen? How’d you two connect?’

‘I ran into her at the airport,’ Nick says. He looks over at Sawyer. ‘You were supposed to tell them all this before we got here.’

He shrugs. ‘I’ve been busy. I got a lot going on.’ He sets the beers on the bar. ‘You hungry? We got sandwiches in the back.’

‘I’m good,’ Nick says as we walk to the bar. ‘We had a big breakfast.’

Sawyer stands across from us at the bar, smiling. ‘You had breakfast? Must’ve been a late night.’

‘You know what time I got in,’ Nick says, sounding annoyed at what Sawyer’s insinuating. ‘You woke up and yelled at me to be quiet.’

‘Did I?’ Sawyer says. ‘I don’t remember doing that. I don’t even remember you getting home.’

‘It was pretty late,’ I say, taking a sip of my beer. ‘Nick and I sat down here and talked after we left the bar.’

‘You coming to the party?’ Jason asks, sitting next to me.

‘No, I’ll be going home after this. I’ll probably do something with my mom this afternoon.’

But I’d rather be with Nick. Knowing he’s leaving Monday makes me want more time with him. I’m getting too close to him, having feelings I shouldn’t be having. But being with him feels so good, I don’t want to stop.