Page 71 of Husband to Go

“It’s no problem. We can do that. Where would you want to go? When would you want to go?”

She thinks again.

“I don’t know, tomorrow? Would that work for you?”

The words come out so fast that I’m practically tripping on them.

“It’s a date, sweetheart.”

Kylie skootches over to me again, her hand fingers brushing the hair out of her face.

“Can I ask you for something else, Tanner?”

“Of course, anything.”

“Could we not have anal sex?”

I take a deep breath.

“What do you want to do then, baby girl?”

She smiles at me, her eyes full of teasing.

“Well, I was hoping we could try it the other way.”

Hmm, I was not expecting that. I know the last time we were together I confessed a lot about myself to her, but I still have reservations. I could lie, but this girl means too much to me, and I decide to go for the truth.

“I’m not sure, sweetheart.”

“Oh, I meant that I want you to put your cock in my vagina,” she giggles.

My eyes go wide and I laugh a little myself.

“I know what you meant. I was trying to say that I don’t know if I’m comfortable with what you’re asking for.”

The laughing did help to loosen me up a bit. I was tense before but now, I feel a bit better. Still hesitant, thought.

“Are you afraid I’m going to get pregnant?” she asks. I nod. How do I explain this?

“I’ve been the way I am for a long time, Kylie. I’ve tried to avoid becoming a father for so many years, and old habits die hard. Plus, you’re young, and there’s a chance that if we do it that way, you could get pregnant immediately. And while I’m more open to talking about having kids, I’m still not sure if I want to have them. At least not so soon. I’m still getting to know you sweetheart, and that’s my first priority.”

While I might be willing to let go of this hang-up, I need more time to think. This is the first time in my life that I’m even willing to consider being a father. It’s a huge shift for me, and I need time to adjust.

Her expression is unreadable, so I plunge ahead.

“Also, we just sorted through so much between the two of us. There are so many moving pieces right now, and I think we need a little time, don’t you?”

I’m not going to make a mistake that will jeopardize my relationship with Kylie. I’ve been quite an idiot when it comes to her. In the moment, I thought I was doing nothing wrong, but hindsight has shown me that I may have been making a mistake all along.

She takes a deep breath.

“I know you’re scared, but we need to be able to move forward. I know in your mind this feels like a black and white thing regarding kids, but for me, it’s more about commitment. You’re still holding back because you are worried about what might happen if we’re actuallycommittedto one another.”

I think about what she’s saying, and it makes sense. There are ways to protect against pregnancy, and theyarepretty effective if used correctly. Maybe I could make an exception and use contraceptives. After all, that’s what they’re there for.

More than any of these considerations, however, is the fact that I love her too. I want to be with her. I’m ready to commit to Kylie with zero hesitation, so I should be able to have the kind of sex she wants. Fulfilling her needs is important to me. After all, I want the two of us to have the best life possible together.

“Yeah, let’s do it.” I almost can’t believe this is about to happen. After years of avoiding the act, I’m about to jump fully into this.