Page 41 of Husband to Go

“Call me, Tanner? I want to talk.”

Ugh. But I smile.

“Sure.” She smirks and lets go of me. She watches me as I leave her apartment, her eyes boring holes into my back until the elevator doors close. Thank god. The lift descends and I exit before striding to my car. Needing a couple of minutes to myself, I don’t turn the ignition right away. My hands grip tightly on to the wheel, my knuckles almost white.

I have to do something about this mess I’ve made for myself. I mean, I was just with Kylielastnight. That should be enough, but I want to be with her again. She has me in her sway, and I feel a desperate need to be in her presence.

Finally, I start my car and drive myself home. A stiff drink will do the trick. I still crave Kylie, but I can’t go to her because I was just with her. She’s becoming an addiction, and one that I can’t control. I drop my car off with the valet and head to the top floor. The ride is the longest I’ve ever taken, but finally, I’m at the penthouse.

As I stride in, the silence rings in my ears. For the first time ever, my penthouse feels empty. I’ve always liked coming back home and finding everything the same way I left it.

But today, there’s something different. It feels like there’s no life, and the furniture is nothing but inanimate objects. Even my favorite Matisse on the wall is immobile and unseeing. I fix myself a scotch and my thoughts drift to Kylie once more. I imagine coming home and finding her sitting on the couch reading a book, with a pot of pasta bubbling on the stove. Even better, I’d wrap my arms around her waist as a baby drinks at her breast.

Oh shit. I’m truly losing it. Ababy? What the hell is wrong with me? I’m going crazy. Kylie does not fit into the box I made for the women I date. She’sdifferent, and wonderfully so. My breath catches in my throat as I imagine our children playing about our feet, her curvy form ripe and glowing with motherhood.

My throat seizes and the only explanation is that somehow,I’vechanged. What I want has changed, and all because of Kylie. What the hell is going on? Why am I so attracted to her?

Yes, she’s beautiful.

I also enjoy spending time with her.

She makes me smile.

The sex is the best I’ve ever had in my life.

My brain is running around in circles thinking about Kylie. I’ve never been the type of guy who thinks about relationships and women much. Most of the time, I’m thinking about my next big acquisition, or whatever deal is hitting the books the next week.

But now, it’s all about Kylie. Maybe I should see her again. She’s been trying to get me to have a conversation about the two of us for weeks now, but I kept putting it off because I was too scared to actually consider what might be happening between me and her.

But I can’t show up at her door unexpectedly again. Basically, I’m an idiot who has no idea what to do. Drat. In business, when I’m at an impasse like this, it’s better to go with what I know for a fact. Veronica is a known factor. Maybe I should just go through with this marriage because it offers certainty and a guaranteed return. But Kylie. What do I do about Kylie?

I take out my phone and scroll through my contact list to a number that I haven’t called in years. It rings, and then someone answers.

“Tanner?” a woman’s voice rings in my ears.

“Can I come see you today?”

“Yeah, of course. I’m not leaving my house, so stop by anytime.”

“Good. See you soon.” I hang up, already questioning my decision to go see this person. It’s been a very long while, and for good reason too because I don’t like thinking about my past.

But maybe confronting my past will help me make a decision about my future. That’s it. I change into comfortable clothes and head over to my car. This woman may be able to help me solve my problems, and not a moment too soon.

13

Tanner

The trip to New Jersey isn’t too bad since there isn’t much traffic. It’s beautiful, with leafy green canopies and a twisting road that’s a pleasure to drive.

My thoughts land on my sister and her son. Jason must be in school now, and he’s a happy guy from what I remember. I can probably just offer him the candies I bought as a gift. But Lacey will definitely want an explanation as to why I’m suddenly popping up out of nowhere. She sounded normal on the phone, but in real life, she’s a force of nature.

I pull up to a modest house and park in the driveway. The front door opens while I’m still in the car, and Lacey waits expectantly, one shoulder propped up against the frame. She looks scary even from here.

Turning off the car, I sit for a couple of seconds, taking a few deep breaths. I know it’s selfish of me to hope she isn’t mad, but you never know. After all, I’m the one who left her when she was a child, leaving her to fend for herself in the cruel world. Damn, I wish I could re-do that part of our lives, but the best I can manage is a wary smile.

Finally, I get out of the car and head for the house. I stop before stepping onto the porch and look up at the sister I haven’t seen in years.

“Hey girl.”