Page 61 of Husband to Go

“Pretty much, but it didn’t happen because Tanner saved me. Then we escaped from the hospital, and he told me the wedding had been cancelled, and he was done with Veronica. At first, I was ecstatic. It was all I wanted, or so I thought. But then he said that he doesn’t want kids,” I say, taking a deep breath.

Andi stares at me. “So?”

“So I do,” I say with a shrug. “And as a result, we ended it.”

Andi stares at me.

“All that, and it’s over because you want kids, but he doesn’t?”

I shrug again.

“It’s a non-negotiable for me, and it’s a dealbreaker for him too. It makes sense, if you think about it.”

Andi nods.

“Yes, but I mean, you guys went through so much drama with your mom, the wedding, the huge amounts of sex behind your mom’s back, and now the hospital. This kids thing sounds so anti-climactic.”

I stare at her.

“Having kids is a big deal, Andi. It’s not anti-climactic.”

She holds up her hands in protest.

“I know, I know. It’s just that it feels that way because you guys have been through so much already. You’ve been to Vegas, escaped from a mental institution, and Tanner’s literally the runaway groom. He left your mom at the altar. So to break up after all that, seems … well,anti-climactic,” she says helplessly.

I look away from her.

“Maybe so, but it is what it is,” I say in a frozen voice.

“I’m not judging you for it,” she says quickly. “It just seems that you really love him, and maybe there’s a way you can –”

“No, there’s no way,” I say quickly. “We weren’t meant to be together.”

“Maybe,” Andi starts. “But you guys really seem to love one another.” My friend is using the word “love” again and it pains my heart, but I say nothing as she babbles on.

“I mean, I met the dude, and even though I had some strong biases towards him with respect to how he’s been making you feel, I realized that both of you have been confused as hell. The situation was totally weird, but despite it all, you guys found one another and fell in love. I think you should give it a try.”

Maybe she’s right. Love should be able to conquer all, but unfortunately, in real life, it doesn’t.

“Thanks Andi. I totally appreciate your input, but I don’t think there’s a future for Tanner and me,” I say in a quiet voice.

Andi’s silent for a moment.

“But you love him, Kylie. He came in here breathing fire and brimstone, determined to find you. He loves you too.”

I look up at her with tears in my eyes.

“I know, but love’s not enough. Please, can we not talk about this anymore? It’s really painful to discuss.”

She throws me a worried look, but nods.

“Sure thing, Ky. I should roll but let me know if you need anything okay? By the way, these waffles were amazing,” she says in a chirpy voice, smiling as she gets her bag.

But I can tell Andrea’s still worried. After all, what she said is true. I’ve been through a tumultuous time, only to be rescued by the man I love. But now, we’ve come upon an issue for which there is no resolution. Is there any way to work around this? Sadly, as I say goodbye to my friend, it doesn’t appear so. I want children, and Tanner doesn’t. We can’t split the baby in half, which means that there is no path forward. I accept it, but why does my heart have to hurt so much? I would give anything to be with Tanner, but alas, it doesn’t appear to be in the cards.

20

Kylie