Page 47 of Husband to Go

What choice do I have? I shrug helplessly.

“Yes.”

“Good,” she says while smiling. She picks up her clipboard, pen at the ready.

“So, my first question is you age and gender.”

“I’m twenty and a woman.”

“Are you currently in school?”

“I was, but I dropped out a couple days ago to come here.”

“Okay,” she writes something down. “When was the first day of your last period?” I try to think.

“Um, about three weeks ago?”

She nods and continues. The questions all seem easy enough. Dr. Rogers goes through the basics, and they’re things I usually get whenever I go to a brand-new doctor. They’re easy to answer and soon, I’m feeling a lot better just from the normalcy of the situation. I wasn’t sure what to expect, but this is like every doctor’s office I’ve ever been to.

“Okay, you’re doing great Kylie. So my next question is, why do you think you’re here?”

I blink at her.

“I’m not sure what you mean?”

“Well, you admitted yourself, right?” I nod. “So why do you feel you need to be here, right now? What’s going on with you?”

I swallow, a little embarrassed at having to admit this to someone else. Until now, the only person who knew about me and Tanner was Andi because it was humiliating. Andi is my best friend, so she doesn’t count. I didn’t want to tell anyone else about my bad behavior.

But Dr. Rogers said if I wanted the best treatment, I needed to be truthful. I take a deep breath.

“So where to start? My mom is getting married tomorrow, and I met her fiancé just a couple of weeks ago. It’s not a big deal. This is going to be my mom’s fourth marriage. The problem was that, when I met him, I didn’tknowhe was getting married to my mom, and sparks flew. We slept together.”

I stop talking, thinking back to that first moment Tanner and I met. It was so fun and spontaneous. It was something I felt good about, in fact, because I was letting loose and enjoying myself.

There’s no judgment in Dr. Rogers’s eyes when she hears this.

“What did you do afterwards, Kylie?”

“I confronted him. I waited until we were alone and asked himwhyhe slept with me while engaged to my mom. Apparently, he and my mother have some kind of arrangement, so it was okay for him to find physical satisfaction outside of the relationship. To be clear, I still don’t know the contours of their agreement. But still, it’s weird that I slept with my future stepdad.”

Dr. Rogers nods.

“That does sound confusing,” she says in a calm voice. “How did it make you feel?”

I shake my head, trying not to lose my cool.

“I feel bad. The worst part, though, is wekeptdoing it. I’d tell him all the ways it was wrong, but Tanner has this way of making me feel so good, and I just wanted to be with him. It kept going on and on, and eventually, I realized I was in love with him, but he didn’t love me back.” My voice breaks a little here. “Tomorrow he’s marrying my mother, and I’m stuck with all these feelings of self-hatred, wondering what the hell happened. I don’t even know who I am anymore.”

Unloading all of this has somewhat lessened the burden on my shoulders, but I still feel confused and awful.

Dr. Rogers is jotting notes on her clipboard, and I hope against hope that she’ll be able to help me

“Okay, Kylie. I want to thank you for being so truthful with me. This is a lot to consider, but I think North Cross will be able to meet your needs.”

“Really?” I’m stunned because I thought my problems might be too severe for anyone to handle.

She nods.