Page 67 of Husband to Go

This time it’s easy to answer. I take a deep breath and then smile, a little sad.

“Yes, I do love him. Is that dumb? I mean, it seems crazy right?”

Jane shakes her head.

“I don’t know. All love is a little crazy, if you think about it.”

I make a face.

“But what about a lot crazy?”

She laughs, her brown hair bouncing.

“Even a lot crazy is okay,” she says. “Actually, maybe love is more exhilarating if it’s a lot crazy.”

I smile, already feeling better about myself.

“But what do I do? I mean, everything is so confusing and I have no idea how to take next steps.”

My aunt reflects a bit before speaking.

“Let me tell you a story,” Jane begins. “I don’t think you know the story of how Gordon and I met?”

I shake my head. They never told me, and I never thought to ask.

“Well, way back in the day, Gordon was supposed to go on a blind date with your mom. They both had friends who knew each other, and everyone thought it would be a good idea. Veronica was very beautiful, and my husband was a very handsome young man back then. I was living with Veronica at the time, although if you ask me, I was more like a houseplant than a roommate. Anyway, the time for the date comes around, and Veronica is nowhere to be found. Now, I had no idea that this date was happening. She didn’t tell me about her love life, and I didn’t ask most times.”

“That’s fair. My mom’s love life is a mess. Sounds like it’s always been like that.”

Jane nods.

“So, your mom wasn’t home, and one day, this guy comes to our door, saying he was here for Veronica. I didn’t know what to do, so I let him inside to wait. It was kind of awkward. I was tiptoeing around him while I furiously tried to contact my sister. She’d left the country because some random guy offered her a free trip, and she took it. I asked her what to do about this strange man sitting in our living room, and you know what she said?”

I shake my head. Jane continues.

“She said, ‘I don’t know. You can fuck him.’” And then she hangs up, leaving me to tell this guy that I’ve never met that his blind date has been unexpectedly cancelled. What am I supposed to do? He was expecting a date with the gorgeous Veronica Mitchell, and now he’s going to get a rejection delivered by Jane Mitchell.”

Aunt Jane takes another deep breath before continuing. “Even more humiliating, I can’t believe Veronica told me to quote unquote ‘fuck him.’ First off, what rude language. Second, I’m not that kind of person. And last, like he would even go for me. I’m Plain Jane. The boys always prefer Veronica because she’s blonde and gorgeous, especially next to my frizzy brown locks and weirdly big nose.”

I’m listening with wide eyes.

“Then what happened?”

Jane shrugs.

“I put the landline in my room down and go back to the living room. Veronica’s date is still sitting there, reading one of the magazines we have scattered on our coffee table. He does seem like kind of a sweet guy, and I feel kind of bad delivering this news. But I deliver the rejection, and he takes it okay. As he gets up to leave, he pulls out a rose, and says it was for Veronica, but I can have it. I take the flower from him, and our hands collide. I look up into his brown eyes, and that’s when it happens. We kiss, and the rest is history.”

I whistle.

“Wow, so you stole your sister’s date?”

Aunt Jane wrinkles her nose.

“Okay, that is not what I mean to impart with that story.”

I laugh.

“Okay, okay, you didn’t steal Veronica’s date. But you ended up with a guy that she discarded.”