Page 60 of Husband to Go

Ihaven’t left my room ever since Tanner dropped me off a couple of days ago. It’s even worse than the last time because now, I know there’s no hope of being together ever. I’ll never see him again, or be with him again. He’ll never touch my face, and I won’t touch his.

It’s over between us. Totally. Completely.

I’m all cried out. I don’t think I have a single tear left in me, and my entire body feels desiccated and dry.

Andrea’s been over a few times to comfort me. I called her the second I got home.

“Can you please come stay with me? I’m not sure I can be alone.”

“Oh my god, of course. I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

She was over in minutes with all the comforting junk food I could possibly want in hand. I knew my friend wouldn’t disappoint. For the past couple of days, we’ve been stuck in a haze of cheese doodles, chocolate chips, ice cream, and sad movies. When I cry, Andrea pats my shoulder comfortingly. She thinks I’m tearing up because of the sad plotlines, but it’s still Tanner on my mind.

We fell asleep while watchingWaterlast night, and today, I wake up to Andrea sleeping next to me. She’s been the real MVP through this all.

“Hey,” I whisper, nudging her.

She grunts softly, fidgeting a little. She’s always been hard to wake because my best friend is a deep sleeper.

“Andrea,” I whisper a little louder. She shuts her eyes even tighter, but I know I’ve made an impression. Finally, she groans and yawns.

“What is it? Goddamn it’s early.”

I grin halfheartedly.

“Do you want some waffles? I can make us some waffles.”

“Okay, make me waffles,” she mumbles. I can tell she’s still more asleep than anything. I carefully get out of bed, doing my best not to disturb her any more than I already have.

After brushing my teeth and washing my face, I head to the kitchen. I take down everything I need to make waffles from the cabinets and get to cooking. Having Andrea has been a really good distraction. I still think about Tanner, but whenever Andi sees me getting forlorn, she’ll change the subject and make me feel better. It’s not the greatest way to go about life, but it’s been working so far.

I’m almost through making all the batter when Andi walks in still a little sleepy. She stretches her arms above her head.

“That smells good,” she yawns.

“It should because I use real butter and not the fake stuff. Sit down, I’ll bring them over.”

She yawns again, flopping down at the kitchen table.

“Okay, Ky-Ky. You treat me oh so well.” I get everything on plates for the two of us and serve. Andrea picks up her head once the waffles are in front of her.

“Me thinks I smell chocolate chips.”

“Me thinks you are correct,” I quip. We both giggle and then go quiet as we eat, the loudest sound knives on plates. The syrupy goodness makes me feel so amazing, the warmth traveling through my body.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Andi asks. I’ve been refusing to discuss my time at the hospital, but I know Andi’s curious. She’s a good friend and hasn’t pressed the issue but maybe I should face everything that happened. It has to come out at some point, and keeping it bottled in does no good.

“Yes, I guess I can tell you about it,” is my slow reply. Andi smiles, her look encouraging.

I take a deep breath, trying to get the story out without choking.

“Tanner got me out of that hospital I checked myself into. They were about to do electroshock therapy, but he saved me in the nick of time.”

Andrea looks horrified.

“Like you were hooked up to machines and they were going to fry your brain?” she asks.

I nod.