Page 71 of Holly Jolly July

Ellie

“And cut !” Yueyi shouts.

Applause breaks out from cast and crew alike.

Julia and Oscar take a bow, then beckon me to join them from where I’d stepped away off set. They draw me in, and all three

of us bow together.

“That was amazing!”

“Incredible job all around!”

“Superb performance from everyone!”

All the backstage lighting and sound techs take their turns congratulating us on a job well done while we return the sentiments

to them and all their hard work over the past two weeks. Oscar has one arm over my shoulder, the other over Julia’s, something

that would have brought me a sense of incredible belonging and contentment mere days ago, but now only makes me feel the weight

of his limb on my shoulder.

“You guys go ahead,” I say, shrugging his arm off me. “I just need a minute to say goodbye.”

Julia and Oscar exit with the rest of the team, leaving me alone in the café. I trail my fingertips along the tabletops as

I walk through the place, breathing in the familiar scents one last time. The bright lights shine off the glass display case

full of fake cookies and cakes, reflecting my image back at me. I reach up and touch my face, finding a tear trailing down

my cheek.

Someone clears their throat behind me and I startle, turning toward the sound.

The lights block my view and I lift a hand to shield my eyes from the intensity. Mariah steps onto the set, revealing herself

inch by inch, catching my breath in my throat.

After everything we’ve been through together, with everything she means to me, I want to take her in my arms and kiss her.

But I don’t. Soon everything we are, everything we could have been, will fade from lovers, to friends, to acquaintances, and then we’ll be mere footnotes in each other’s memories.

Despite my whirlwind of thoughts and emotions, all the things I want to tell her, all the things I want to express, all I

can say is, “Hi.”

Mariah’s throat works, her lips twitch, and she returns my quiet hi with one of her own. She takes another step closer. “I

didn’t tell you the whole truth earlier.”

I’m not entirely sure what she’s talking about, so I stay still and silent while she gathers her thoughts.

Mariah takes a slow breath. “You weren’t my first girlfriend.”

I sigh in relief and can’t help but smile. “No offence, but I assumed I wasn’t.”

She smiles, too, then continues. “My experience with my first girlfriend made me nervous about you, and I’ve been holding

back how I really feel because I’ve been scared.”

How she really feels? My heart stammers in my chest. “Scared of what?”

“Scared of... pushing you away.”

Her pushing me away? “What do you mean?”

“We met in cosmetology school, after I moved out. I was myself for the first time in a long time, and it was all so new. I

was excited to have the life I’d always dreamed of. That’s when I met her. Jess was my best friend... and my first love.”

Each word becomes laboured, like she’s digging them up from a hole in her mind where she long ago buried them. “She was everything

to me. I gave her my whole heart. I would have done anything for her. But she didn’t know who she was, and I was only an experiment

to her. One night I took things too far, and I lost my best friend and my lover all in one moment.”

“That must have been so hard.”

“Because of her, I thought if I told you how I felt, or if I asked for more, you’d turn me down and run away and that would

be it.”

I take a moment to process what she told me while weighing my words. “Thank you for telling me. I don’t think you were being

dishonest, you were being careful. And I respect that.” Mariah was brave for me. I can be brave for her. I swallow, steeling

my resolve. “And I want you to know, this hasn’t been some experiment for me. You were... are... everything to me.”

“I am?”

Even if this is all we were ever meant to be, Mariah needs to know how much it meant. I won’t leave anything left unsaid.

No regrets. “I know you’re leaving, and there’s nothing I could do or say to make you stay. Even if there was a magic word

to keep you here so we could be together, I wouldn’t say it. I want you to have everything you could possibly want out of

life. I want you to make your wildest dreams come true. I want you to push yourself to the limits of what you thought was

possible, and then I want you to go further. Because I know you can. You are capable of so many great things, and I’m so excited

to have known you, even for this tiny blip in time.”

We’re inches apart now, and I can see all the sadness reflected in her beautiful eyes as her bottom lip trembles.

I thread my fingers through hers. “But I don’t want to leave without telling you how important you are to me. I know it’s

only been two weeks, but it feels like it’s been both seconds and centuries.”

Mariah bites her lip, then nods subtly. “All the time in the world, and yet not enough time at all.”

“Exactly.” I sigh, relieved that she understands what I’m trying to convey.

“I feel the same way.” She inhales slowly, steeling herself. “And that’s why I got you this. A Christmas present, from me to you.” She releases my hand and pulls her phone out of her back pocket.

“You got me a Christmas present?” I smile and take the phone from her trembling fingers.

Mariah brings a fist to her mouth as she watches my reaction.

I eye the image on the screen, confused. “A plane ticket?”

She smiles, her expression shifting between hope and fear as her gift starts to sink in.

Looking back at the phone, I reread it. The image starts to swim. “You got me a plane ticket down to LA?”

She takes hold of my hands, the phone clasped between us. Then, her voice low and uneven, she asks, “Come with me?”

My heart stutters and I take a step back, dropping her hands while squeezing the phone to my chest. “What?”

She comes a little closer, her eyes shining. “Come with me,” she repeats, louder, more assured. “Come to LA. Let’s make a

go of it, together.”

My chest begins to heave as confusion shifts to anger. This is worse than our relationship coming in second to her career—I

had been prepared for that. I’ve dealt with being overlooked my whole life. But she knows how important my role is. She knows

all the reasons I can’t leave. I had just told her I wouldn’t want her giving up her dreams for me, and yet she wouldn’t do

the same? Even asking, putting the onus on me to let her down, makes my stomach curdle.

“I can’t leave. Not now. Mariah, I just landed my dream role, in Whistler of all places. There’s going to be snow and magic

and I’ll get to co-star with an incredible method actor. Christmas movies don’t mean much to you but they’re everything to

me.” I swallow, trying to tamp down the sadness and anger for our final moments together. “I’ve worked so hard for this, and

I can’t give that up, and for you to even ask is—”

She shakes her head, her smile widening. “Check the date, Ellie.”

I frown, my heart pounding in my ears, and lower my shaking hands to reread the ticket. “October?”

Mariah tucks a strand of teal hair behind her ear in a rare display of nerves. “And there’s a return flight for the following

month, but we can move that if you need to come back earlier. Or if you get tired of me. Whichever is first.”

I take a few breaths to let this sink in, the anger and disappointment swirling in my mind calming into something else...

Hope? I look into her eyes, which are brimming with glee. I collect my thoughts, and then ask, “You want me to come to LA

with you?”

“Yeah. I figured, between the filming dates for your next movie, we could spend some time together. And maybe, I don’t know,

you could do a few auditions, see what happens. But only if you want to.”

A smile spreads across my lips along with a sense of calm in my belly, though my pulse hasn’t slowed at all. “Even if I do

come down, we’ll be apart a long time. Long-distance relationships, they’re not easy. And I can’t promise I’ll stay in LA

after. It will be really hard.”

Mariah purses her lips. “Someone once told me that if something is important to you, you find a way to make it work.”

“I’m important to you?” I practically squeak, warming from her touch.

Mariah huffs, as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “Of course you are.” She takes another step closer, until we’re

hip to hip, nearly nose to nose. “I want you to have it all, too,” she says, speaking low and quiet. “I can’t whisk you away

into the country with a chicken coop and a gaggle of dogs. I know living in a big city isn’t how you imagined your future,

and I don’t expect you to stay if you don’t like it. But I thought, maybe, we could try.”

My heart swells. “I don’t really think I wanted all of that. I think that’s what I’ve been told to want. All I want is to be with you. The life you described, us being together and making our dreams come true... it sounds better than anything I could have ever imagined.”

Mariah cups my cheek with her hand, so soft and warm. “I want you to go star in this movie, and kick its ass, and be the lead

actress you’re meant to be. And then afterward, I want you to be with me. No matter what project comes next, I want us to

figure this out—together.”

I sniffle, fighting back a roller coaster of emotions. “I’ve always wanted to be the main character.”

Mariah caresses my skin, sending tingles from the tips of her fingers down my neck. Tilting my chin toward her, she breathes,

“You already are.”

I gaze into her gorgeous eyes, witnessing the love they hold for me. “That’s all I ever really wanted.”

Then I lift onto my toes and kiss her.

Cheers ring out, and for a few heated moments of desperate kissing we don’t even notice. When we part to breathe, we glance

around and realize...

The cast and crew are cheering for us. They step out from behind the cover of blinding lights, surprising us with their presence.

Mariah and I both blink. I move to step away, but Mariah grips me harder and tugs me close to her side. I look up at her,

and she gives me a little shrug, as if to say, Why are we hiding this? I agree, replying with a grin and squeezing her tight.

Oscar and Julia step forward in the crowd, Yueyi and Jimmie right behind them.

“Finally!” Julia states.

“About time,” Oscar agrees.

Jimmie purses his lips, one hand on his hip, like he’d seen this coming from the very beginning.

“What?” Mariah and I ask in unison.

“We were all placing bets,” Oscar states, his tongue in his cheek.

Julia elbows Oscar in the ribs. “He lost, by the way.”

“Bets?” Mariah asks, confused.

Yueyi tuts, then glares at Oscar and Julia as if they’re misbehaving toddlers. “Due to HR protocols, there has never been

any betting.”

The leads nod in agreement, saying “of course,” and, “never happened.”

After an awkward pause, Julia breaks character and slaps Oscar’s shoulder with the back of her hand. “But if there was a bet going on, then someone would owe me twenty dollars!”

Oscar sighs, but smiles at his co-star in good-natured fun.

Still confused, I ask, “Were we that obvious?”

Oscar points between the two of us. “The tension between you two has been sizzling all week.”

“It’s been getting me all worked up, too, like walking into a cloud of pheromones.” Julia fans herself dramatically.

Yueyi chuckles. “I was worried I’d walk in on you two hiding on set somewhere.”

“Well, that’s a missed opportunity,” Mariah states, and everyone laughs.

“I get the feeling we’ll be back on set together before we know it,” I reply, looking up at my love and imagining all that

the future holds for us, knowing there are so many more adventures to be had.

“We could use a skilled artist like you on our next set,” Yueyi says. “We usually stick to locals, but if you two are bunking

together it’s really no extra cost.”

Mariah acts like she’s about to consider it, but Jimmie shuts it down. “She’s off to LA. She’s landed a job for an indie horror

project. I made sure to put a good word in.” He gives Mariah a wink, and she squeezes me happily.

“You ready to get out of here?” Mariah whispers.

There’s nothing I want more. “Where to?”

“I was thinking...” She releases me, tucking her arm into mine. “My place tonight, yours tomorrow?”

I squeal, clenching my fists and doing a little jump. “Really!”

Mariah laughs, eyes twinkling. Then she pulls me in for one more kiss.