Page 15 of Holly Jolly July

The scene reminds me of a certain someone else whose sweaty breasts I’d been ogling the other day. She’s not on set today,

and for a split second I almost miss her zany energy before shaking the brief thought from my head.

By the time I finish my book it’s wrap time. One more hour until I can see Jax.

Part of me considers telling him I ran into Bethany. We could laugh about how she had no idea who I was and what she’d think

if she knew about us.

But the last thing I want is to remind him of who I used to be.

After cleaning up and being released by Jimmie, I get back into my car and drive through the closest A I don’t have to go back to my parents’ house. I’m safe for one more night. And there’s another feeling

there, too, something I didn’t expect to find when I walked into this bar, let alone when I drove back to Chilliwack. I gaze

into Jax’s eyes; they’re soft and warm and relaxed from his orgasm, and I feel... feelings. Of some sort. I’m not sure

how to name them, or how to organize them in my brain, but the fluttery sensation in my belly and the squeeze in my chest

is telling me that maybe there’s more to Jax than just being a fun lay and a way to get an old crush out of my system.

I consider his offer. “Jax?”

“Yeah?”

“I live in Vancouver. I’m never coming back to Chilliwack. You know that, right?”

“It’s not like Vancouver is that far away, Mariah.”

I’m caught off guard by his response. Has he already thought of visiting me?

“I missed out on getting to know you all those years ago. I was young, and stupid, and you were...”

I wait for him to say weird , different , trying too hard to fit in ...

“You were intimidating.”

I’m stunned into silence.

Jax smiles, his eyes darting from mine and down to his hands. Is he nervous? “You seemed wiser. Intelligent. More mature than the rest of us, in a way.”

“Are you sure that’s not just because I ‘matured’ before everyone else?” I gesture to my chest.

He rolls his eyes with a sardonic smile. “I knew there was more to you than meets the eye. I’d be lying if your other ‘maturities’

didn’t catch my attention, as well as the attention of all the other guys in school, but I saw past that. I remember one time

at a house party—Darren Freidman’s garage, remember that place?”

I nod. How could I forget? The smell of stale beer and motor oil permanently embedded into the stained concrete, the tinny boom box in the corner always

blasting Eminem, and haphazard seating made up of the back seat of someone’s van and various mismatched lawn chairs. It seemed

almost everyone had their firsts there: first time smoking pot, first time stealing from their parents’ liquor cabinets, first

kisses. I remember watching other people pair off at various points of the night to make out under the stars. Never me.

Jax continues. “Bethany and I had a fight. I don’t even remember what it was about. She stormed off, nobody knew where she

went. You were the only sober person there and you drove me around until we found her, then you parked and waited outside

while we argued.”

I remember there being more making out than arguing but don’t interrupt.

“Anyone else would have just taken her home, probably talked shit about me behind my back.” He shakes his head slowly. “But

not you.”

“You don’t remember why she was mad at you?”

He shakes his head slowly. “No.”

I run my tongue over my bottom lip. “She was mad at you for looking at my tits too much. Said it was inappropriate.”

He chuckles. “She was always jealous of you.”

I had never once in my life considered that possibility. I lean back against the wall, stunned.

Squeezing my hands, he says, “I think everything happens for a reason. I obviously wasn’t ready for you back then. But you

walked into this bar, out of all the bars in the city.”

“And now here we are.”

He grins. “Here we are.”

I hadn’t planned on taking this any further than my time here in Chilliwack, just a spicy distraction from my boring job.

But now I want to see what this alternate reality has in store. “All right, then. I’ll see you in a couple hours.”

Jax smiles, then leaves me with a tender, dizzying kiss before returning to work.