Page 58 of Holly Jolly July

people again in a few weeks, I may never work with Julia and Oscar again.

But then I look to Mariah. I ache to know what thoughts are swirling around in her mind right now. And then it clicks.

None of this matters as much as her.

I throw down a tip and we start making our way around the table when Julia perks up. “Oh yeah, you have a hot date tonight!”

I glance at Mariah, who freezes, unsure of what to say. “What?” I ask.

“That hot guy, Matthew?” Julia clarifies. “I still think you should have brought him.”

“Oh. Right.” I’d forgotten all about him. “Yeah, I’ll let you know how that goes.”

“We want every detail.” Oscar winks, which would have made me quiver in my Rudolph sweater just days ago but now only makes

me cringe.

After a few more quick goodbyes we head out through the doors to the warm July air. It’s just past dinnertime, and still so

warm, but a darkened sky above and the faint smell of petrichor warns of rain. Without words, and a fair bit of tension, we

climb into Mariah’s car and she begins driving back to our cabin.

I’m not sure why there’s this strange feeling of angst between us when everything was perfect this morning. I’m not one to

leave things alone. I’ll pick at a scab until it bleeds rather than sit idle—that’s the only way to see what’s going on under

the surface.

“Mariah.” I fiddle with the loose strands of my sweater. “Are you going to tell me what’s wrong?”

She continues looking out the windshield, her emotions masked.

I reach over and grip her thigh, trying to get her to look at me. “Hey. It’s me. You can talk to me. Please tell me what’s

bothering you.”

Her stoic expression wobbles ever so slightly. “I’m happy for you. But I just... I can’t work on another movie with you.

Not like this.”

My throat constricts. “Like, as lovers?”

“No, that’s not what I meant.” She takes my hand in hers, giving my fingers a squeeze. “I can’t... I don’t like doing this

kind of makeup. I don’t want to work on another Christmas movie.”

“What’s wrong with Christmas movies?” I can’t help the bit of venom that drips into my voice.

“Nothing! Nothing, I—”

“You’re too good for them or something?”

“No.” She furrows her brow.

“I know they’re not that fancy, and they don’t have the best budgets, and I know they’re kind of predictable, but that’s what

people love about them. They’re guaranteed something simple and sweet that will warm their heart. Sometimes in life you need

predictability, especially when the world is a dumpster fire, or maybe if there’s stuff going on in your life that’s complex.

We bring joy to lots of people, and—”

“That’s not what I meant,” she cuts me off.

“Then what do you mean?”

“It’s just not the type of makeup I want to work on. No offence to Christmas movies, or to you or the set we’re working on.

Don’t take it like that, please.”

I take a breath to let her words sink in, unclenching my fists and lowering my hackles. “Okay. But it’s a job, isn’t it? I

know it’s not what you have planned long-term but until something else comes along, why not? I mean—”

“Something else has come along.” Mariah continues staring out the windshield.

I pause. “What? When?”

Finally, she glances at me as she lane checks. “I got a message on TikTok from that video that went viral. A company from

LA may want me to come work for them. They specialize in sci-fi and horror films with makeup, costumes, and special effects

done the old-fashioned way, with limited CGI. It’s not set in stone yet, but it sounds promising.”

“But you haven’t signed anything?”

“No.”

“So it could not happen?”

“No, but—”

“So you might not go to LA? If you don’t get the offer you could come up to Whistler with me?”

Her jaw clenches. “I’m not going to do that.”

“What? Why not? If they don’t have anything for you then you could at least stay in the industry. I thought—”

“It’s not what I want,” Mariah says, slow and clear. “When they contacted me it made me realize how badly I want to work on

those types of films and how little I’ve really chased that dream. I think I have to try and make a go of it down there. LA

is where all the work is for movies that I like. I’m too inexperienced for most films to hire me from another country. But

if I’m local, they might.”

It takes me a moment to process everything she’s saying. It’s so rare I get more than a sentence out of her, it’s like my

brain is struggling to piece them together when they’re delivered all at once rather than fed to me morsel by morsel. “You’re

going down to LA, whether you get this job or not?”

She bites her lip. Nods once. “Now’s the time. This viral TikTok could open doors for me. It probably won’t happen again.

I at least have to try.”

“When?” I croak.

“Probably right after this.”

I pull my hand from hers and turn away, tucking my feet onto the seat and hugging my knees as I look out the window. The faintest

droplets of rain have begun falling, splattering across the glass, as if the weather is tied to my emotional state. I thought

we’d have more time. I wanted to talk to her about us. About making things work. But now that she’s leaving, what’s the point?

Mariah will be in LA, and I know she’ll get hired because she’s an incredibly talented person, and I’ll be up here finally

getting my big shot at my dream role.

I knew it would come down to this. Mariah was bound to choose someone or something else over me. May as well be her career.

There’s no point in fighting it.

I’ll always come in second.

“Ellie?”

I sniff. “Yeah?”

“I’m sorry.”

“No, don’t be sorry.” I take all those sad feelings and force them down, jamming them into the hollow pit in my stomach. I

plaster my best smile on and adjust my posture into something resembling a whole person who hasn’t just been ripped in half.

“I’m excited for you! This is great! I can’t believe someone saw your TikTok and wants you to work for them on their movie.

I mean, of course I can believe that, you’re awesome, and you’re going to blow their minds, and maybe you’ll get to design

some aliens, and—”

“Ellie.”

“And you’ll be like the next H.R. Giger! Ooh, maybe you’ll get to work on a horror set and do something really grotesque.

Either way, I’m sure once you’re down there they’ll be fighting over you. I’m really happy that you’re—”

“Ellie!” She grips my hand tightly. “Stop.”

“Stop what?”

“This,” she says, as if that makes any more sense.

“I’m not doing anything.”

She sighs, then releases my hand for a moment so she can turn off the highway and onto the side road toward our cabin. “It’s

okay to be sad.”

“I’m not sad.” My bottom lip trembles, and I bite it to make it stop. “I’m happy! We’re both getting everything we ever wanted.”

Mariah looks over at me, her eyes misting, and takes a slow breath. “Not quite.”

I lean my head on her shoulder as she presses a kiss to my temple. We continue the rest of the way in silence, though instead

of it being charged with angst, it’s the bittersweet ache of Christmas morning, knowing that after waiting for so long you’re

about to get everything you’ve ever wanted...

But it will all be over soon.