Page 40 of Hidden Vows (Love in Ashford Falls #3)

thirty-one

JUDE

The call continues to ring as I tuck the phone between my ear and shoulder, stuffing my keys and wallet into my pockets.

“Jude Murphy. What have I told you about letting so much time go between phone calls? It’s bad enough I don’t get to see you very often,” Mae chides as soon as she answers the phone.

“You know the phone works both ways, Mae. You could always call me.” I can’t help the chuckle that falls from my lips. Mae might be giving me a hard time, but I know she’s only teasing me. It’s been too long since I talked to her and Willie.

I called them a few days after I got settled in Ashford Falls, letting them know what was going on, but have only shot them a text here or there over the last two and half months.

They’re far too important to me to have let this much time pass between phone calls.

The support they’ve given me since I first met them means the world, and just because I’m getting my life back doesn’t mean I don’t still need them, because I do—probably now more than ever.

“How’s your dad doing?” I hear the screech of their screen door through the phone, and I know she’s stepping out the front door, probably on her way to the garage where Willie likely is .

“No change. They move him to the nursing home next week.”

“No change is better than bad news.”

“I know. I just wish he’d wake up already.”

“Is that our boy finally calling us?” Willie’s booming voice sounds in the background, and I’m grateful for the smile that pulls at my lips. I’ve missed them. Hearing their voices always has a way of calming my spirit.

“He had the nerve to tell me it’s my fault we haven’t talked!” Mae hollers back to him.

“Hey now! That’s not true.” I laugh as I close the apartment door and head down the stairs to meet Abbey at the bookstore.

There’s a rustling on the other end of the phone for a second before I hear Willie more clearly. “It’s been a while, kid.”

“I know. I’m sorry I haven’t called more.” I pause as I step outside, taking a second to enjoy the fresh air and soak in the fondness of that nickname, before I make my way around the building.

“Oh, you know we’re only giving you a hard time. We just miss you.” There’s no censure in his voice, but it doesn’t stop the pang of guilt in my chest.

“It’s been too long since I’ve been out to visit you two.” Way too long.

“Does that mean we’re getting a visit here soon?” Mae’s excitement at the simple possibility of me coming to visit makes me smile.

I laugh, unable to stop myself. “I think that’s definitely a possibility.”

Pausing in front of the bookstore, my eyes catch on a hole in the paper covering the front windows.

The paper’s been up since Abbey started renovations, wanting to keep everything a secret from the town, and I know that hole is an accident.

That doesn’t stop me from stepping up to it and taking full advantage.

“How are things going there, kid? Everything all right?” Will’s voice sounds in my ear, but I don’t take my eyes off the sight in front of me.

George and his team cleared out of the bookstore and handed the keys over yesterday, and Abbey jumped in with both feet to get the place ready for her grand re-opening in just over a week.

After giving herself a few minutes to come to terms with the stagnant conversation with her dad, she started figuring out exactly how she was going to get everything ready.

Without even an hour passing, the entire gang showed up and boxes of books started coming in through the back door.

I don’t know why, but it blew my mind to see everyone piling in through the front door asking about how they could help.

Declan and Quinn showed up with pizza and beer, Ava and Gage came with a speaker and playlist ready to keep us motivated, and Emily—with Fiona strapped to her chest—Caleb, and Max arrived with snacks to keep us energized.

With everyone working together we were able to bring in all the boxes of books, the new furniture Abbey bought, and all the supplies she got for the café. There’s still a lot for her to do, but having everything in one space means she’ll have a much easier job doing it.

But now, instead of unpacking the boxes like I thought I’d find when I walked through the doors, she dances around the space, the most radiant smile on her face, and I fall in love with her all over again.

“Yeah.” I smile, my eyes never leaving Abbey through the window. “All things considered, everything is pretty great.”

“Well, there’s definitely a story to tell there,” Mae calls, and I can imagine her clearly, leaning forward with her chin propped in her hand, eagerly waiting for me to say more.

“Abbey and I are back together.”

“Oh,” Mae gasps, and when she speaks next, her voice is choked. “That’s wonderful, Jude.”

I have to look away from Abbey and swallow the lump in my throat before I’m able to speak.

Even with them not knowing the full story, I know they understand how big of a statement that is.

After Grace died, and I went back to Minnesota needing the comfort I couldn’t find anywhere else, I couldn’t help but think I’d ruined everything.

I was so adamant I’d never find true happiness again, that Abbey had been my one true love.

I didn’t need to tell Mae or Willie that for them to know I’d practically given up all hope.

They didn’t necessarily push me to reconsider going home, but they definitely pushed me to think about what I wanted out of life.

They pushed me to find new passions and things to bring joy.

“You’re gonna bring her on your next visit?” Willie asks.

“Yeah.” I chuckle. “Abbey’s already said she wants to meet you both before the end of the year. She said she wants to meet the people that kept me in check all these years.”

“I like her already.” Willie laughs.

“Yeah, I have no doubt you’ll love her,” I answer absentmindedly, my gaze moving back to Abbey through the window.

I hear Willie and Mae talking, but I lose all focus on the conversation. I’m a lucky bastard to have this woman back in my life. How I managed to make up for the biggest mistake of my life, I’ll never know. But I’ll also never take her or this life we’re building for granted.

When I left before, I thought I was doing the right thing. I thought I was making life easier for Abbey by not forcing her to choose between her family and me, but I never should have done her thinking for her.

From this moment forward, everything I do will be with Abbey at the forefront of my mind, and she’ll be part of every decision I make.

I know she’s forgiven me and won’t hold onto this as some tool to use in a future fight, but she deserves to truly understand exactly what I’ve been doing since I left Ashford Falls.

“Hey, can you do me a favor?” I ask, interrupting whatever Willie and Mae were talking about. My eyes stay glued to the woman through the bookstore.

The woman I can’t stop thinking about.

The woman I’ve been obsessed with my entire life.

“Of course. When have I ever denied you anything?” Mae’s voice is soft, and I hear the smile as clear as day through the phone. I love her for many reasons, but her ability to jump to a new topic without question is one of them.

“Can you send me that box of journals packed away in the closet in the guest room?” The other end of the call goes completely silent. It’s so quiet, I have to pull the phone away from my ear to make sure the call wasn’t dropped. “Mae? Willie? You still there?”

“Yeah. I’m just a little surprised. I thought they’d live in that closet for the rest of our lives.”

“I know,” I whisper. I let my eyes leave the image before me and turn to walk up to the door, pausing outside to finish this conversation first. “I think Abbey should have the chance to read them. If she wants.”

“That’s a pretty big move.” Willie’s words are hushed, and I don’t blame them. I’ve kept those journals so close to the chest, only ever talking about my story ideas with select people. But opening them up in their entirety to read? It’s big .

“If anyone deserves to read them, it’s Abbey.”

“We’ll get ’em packed up and shipped out today.”

“You don’t need to rush. In the next few days is fine.”

“Oh no,” Mae insists. “I don’t want you to have any time to change your mind. I’m hanging up and getting them now.”

“Wait—”

“Nope. We love you and we’ll talk to you in a few days,” Mae shouts.

“Take care of yourself and your woman, kid,” Willie offers right before the line goes dead.

I shake my head and laugh at their antics before shoving my phone in my pocket and finally walking through the door to the bookstore. Abbey’s smile when she turns to look at me grows even wider, and I’m lost to her all over again.

“Where’d AJ Doherty come from?” Abbey pauses in her movements, her focus on the box of books she’s opened in front of her.

I don’t need to look to see what books she’s staring at. That question wouldn’t have popped into her brain without prompting, not with her attention so focused on getting the bookstore ready.

It’s been ten days since Abbey found out I’m AJ Doherty—one of her all-time favorite authors—but she hasn’t asked as many questions as I assumed she would.

I haven’t pushed, wanting her to set the pace on learning everything about our time apart.

If I had it my way, I would’ve dumped it all at her feet if that’s what she wanted.

But I didn’t want her to become overwhelmed with so much information—we have seventeen years to catch up on and hopefully we have a lifetime to do it.

“I’m sure you could guess the initials A and J,” I tease, moving to stand across from her, three boxes stacked between us.

“Abbey and Jude,” she whispers, her eyes moving up to mine.

“Yeah.” I nod. “And Doherty?—”

“Was your mom’s maiden name,” Abbey interrupts, her gaze falling back to the book in her hand.

“When my agent asked me what name I wanted to publish under, I knew immediately I wanted to use a pen name, but I still wanted the name to represent me in some way.”

“It’s a good pen name.” The words are said so quietly I don’t think she even realizes she said them.

Knowing Abbey, there are more questions forming in her mind, but I can see she’s working through something in the way her fingers smooth over the cover of the book, tracing my name almost tenderly.

“Why’d you pick a pen name? Why not use your real name?” Her focus stays on the book when she asks, but I don’t mind.

I’m not surprised by the question, but I wasn’t looking forward to it either.

“The honest answer is that I didn’t think I deserved it.

” Abbey lifts her head and opens her mouth to say something, but I don’t let her.

I need to get this out. “When I signed my first deal with my publisher…it was more money than I knew what to do with—it was more money than I thought I’d ever see in my lifetime.

” It’s my turn to trace the title on the cover of the book between us.

I still don’t understand why they’d been willing to offer so much to a nobody like me. I had absolutely no training or formal education and was truly flying by the seat of my pants. But they took a chance on me and somehow it all paid off.

“I thought it was insane they wanted to pay me so much money to write a few books for them, and I thought putting a different name on it would let me dissociate from the entire thing.” I lift my eyes to Abbey’s—she deserves the next words to be said to her face, not to an inanimate object.

“After everything I’d put you and my dad through, I didn’t think it was fair to have so much security. ”

“Jude—”

“I know it doesn’t make sense, and you probably never would’ve agreed with me, even when you hated me?—”

“I never hated you.” Abbey leans against the top of the box between us, bringing her face closer to mine, a small smile forming on her lips. “That was part of the problem,” she teases.

I wonder if I should hate that she can joke about the pain of our past, but the truth is that I love it. For me, it’s proof that we really are moving forward. That we can build a life together. One so much stronger than the one we had before.

“Well, you never hating me isn’t a problem for me,” I croon, mirroring her position against the top of the box.

“No, I guess it isn’t.” Her eyes dip down to my lips inches from hers and the second she swipes her tongue across her bottom lip, I can’t help myself—I don’t want to stop myself. I know she still has a bunch of questions simmering in that head of hers, but they’ll have to wait for later.

My lips land on hers in a demanding kiss, and when she responds in kind, I don’t even stop to contemplate that the door to the bookstore is unlocked and anyone could walk in. I crave her with everything I am.

Pulling her around the boxes between us, I devour her, lifting her into my arms and pressing her into the shelves against the wall.

Everything about her reaction pushes me forward—the moan that slips from her lips, the way her hips grind against my hardening length, the grip she has on my shoulders.

Nothing could pull me away from her. Not now. Not ever.