Page 7 of Gratification in Gluttony (Passing Through Cafe #2)

Chapter seven

Goldi’s Left Breast

Toni expected to find his mother asleep or at least heavily medicated. He assumed she’d be deathly pale and frail-looking, eyes sunken in, skin thin and stretched over her bones as she fought for life. He was prepared to say goodbye, however difficult that would be.

He did not, however, expect to see Goldi Maryno sitting propped up by pillows, her hair in curlers, licking her thumb so she could turn the page of a fashion magazine as she sipped on a mimosa. She glanced up at the sound of the door clicking shut, doing the slightest double-take as her perfectly plucked brows rose half an inch in surprise at his appearance. Then she returned her attention to her magazine.

“So, this is the secret to getting you to visit your mother,” she said without looking at him. “You don’t call. You don’t write. But sure, your mother cheats death by the skin of her teeth, and here you are.”

Utterly bamboozled by this turn of events, Toni looked around to search for the hidden cameras and the prank show host who was surely lying in wait for him. But he was alone, save for his mother who was clearly not dying. He hated when Gem was right.

“What is going on?” Toni asked as his mother took a sip of her mimosa. “I thought you were sick!”

“Sick? No, of course not. Why would you think that?”

Toni gestured dramatically to the medical equipment around her. “Because you’re hospitalized. Flo said your surgery went wrong—”

“It did!” Goldi lowered her magazine, mouth pinching. “It went horribly wrong, Toni. Horribly! I mean, look at my breasts.” She parted her fluffy robe to reveal the gauze wrapped around her chest. “Terribly lopsided, they are. Your father is very upset.”

Pinching the bridge of his nose, Toni blew a slow breath through pursed lips. “Are you telling me that you’re here because of a boob job?”

“Of course. Why else would I be here? It was a gift from your father, you know? For our anniversary. I’ve always wanted one, though I wish your father had done better research on the surgeon. He ruined my left breast. Three inches off center, if you can believe that.”

Toni gaped at his mother. She licked her thumb and turned the page of her magazine.

“I thought you were dying, Ma!” he roared, and she scoffed.

“For all you know, I could have. Thank the deities, I pulled through.” She sniffed and took another drink from her mimosa. “But you know who is dying when your father gets through with them? The surgeon. I demanded that he set it right, but he refused. Can you imagine?

“Something about how I can’t go under again so quickly, blah, blah, blah. Risk to your heart, blah, blah, blah . But what does he expect me to do? Walk around for three months with this monstrosity on my chest? What would the neighbors say!”

The adrenaline drop left Toni weak-kneed, so he stumbled to the chair next to his mother’s bed and collapsed into it. He didn’t exactly want to study his mother’s chest, but he took a quick gander. “You can’t even tell, you know?”

Goldi went eerily still, setting her magazine down as she slowly, coolly turned to face her son. “You can’t even tell?” she echoed, and Toni knew he’d made a very big mistake.

“That’s not what I meant,” he backtracked. “What I meant was, if the doctor says you shouldn’t go under so soon, then maybe you should listen to him. It’s for your health. Think of your heart.”

“My heart is not the problem!” She gently clutched her bandaged chest. “It’s my breasts I’m worried about.”

Toni grimaced. “Can we maybe stop talking about your breasts? I’m your son.”

“Do not talk back to me, Tonus. I am your mother. I fed you with these breasts!” she practically snarled.

“Technically, not those breasts. You know, ’cause of the boob job,” Toni mumbled, and his mother’s gills flared. “But you’re right. It must have been a very trying morning for you.”

With an unimpressed hum, she lifted her magazine and smoothed open the pages. “It was. You know how my nerves get. Spasms and flutters all over me.”

Reaching out, Toni laid a hand on his mother’s forearm. “Well, I’m very glad you’re okay. I was worried.”

“Oh, baby,” she cooed, giving his cheek a pat. “It’s gonna take more than an idiot in a surgical gown to take me out. You know this.”

“Yeah, Ma, I know.” Toni smiled wanly as she patted his cheek again.

“You look tired. Are you sleeping okay? You have to take better care of yourself, you know?”

“I’m taking care of myself just fine,” he grumbled.

She tisked. “Well, maybe try showering more often. You’re smelling a bit ripe.”

“I was in a hurry,” he barked.

“Watch the tone!” Goldi warned him. “Be that as it may, it’s good to see you.”

“It’s good to see you too, Ma.”

“Though I wish it didn’t take a medical emergency to get you to visit,” she said with an almost childish pout. “I know you and your father have had your differences, but it breaks my heart to see you both this way. It’s not how a family should be.”

To hear her speak so casually about the rift between Toni and his father—between Toni and his whole family, really—tempted his temper to rise again. But he tamped it down, choosing his words carefully. “It’s more than having differences, Ma. You know that.”

“If you two just sat down and talked about it—”

“We’ve tried that!”

“Do not interrupt your mother,” she snapped, and he pressed his lips together. “You know, your Aunt Polli and I had a terrible falling out. A deep betrayal, you remember. We didn’t speak for three years. Now, look at us. Thicker than thieves, we are. Because family is important, Toni.”

“Aunt Polli stole your esthetician,” Toni said carefully, carefully. “Pa and I fundamentally disagree on nearly every core value imaginable. It’s not exactly the same thing.”

“I just don’t understand what I ever did to make you hate me so much,” she said wetly, pressing several fingers to her mouth to stifle a whimper. “My baby boy hates his family, and—”

He knew she was manipulating him, but the knowledge wasn’t enough to stop her tears from making his chest squeeze tight. “Come on, Ma, none of that. You know I don’t hate you. And I don’t hate this family.”

“It’s hard on all of us, you know. Me, your sisters.” She sniffed and dabbed daintily under her eyes with the corner of her blanket. “It’s hard on your father.”

“Yeah, well, it’s hard on me too. Ever think about that?” Toni bit out, wincing when his mother’s eyes flooded with tears. “Hey, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that. Just—I don’t want to do this, Ma. Not right now. You need to stay calm and rest. Okay? We don’t gotta talk about this.”

She nodded demurely, tipping her mimosa back and draining the rest in one go. “I’m very tired. I think I should lie down.”

“Yeah, okay.”

Toni helped her into a half-reclined position, ensuring her spinal fin slipped comfortably into the slot in the mattress. He propped her up with extra pillows, then leaned down to press a kiss to her brow.

Before he could pull away, she captured his face in her hands, smiling sadly up at him. “You’re a good boy, Toni. You know I love you.”

And he did. It just wasn’t enough.

“I love you too, Ma,” he said.

And he did. But it was also not enough.

“Rest up. I’ll come by tomorrow to check up on you, okay?”

“Okay, baby.”

With a parting kiss to his mother’s palm, he straightened and headed for the door. Toni made the rounds in the waiting room, bidding farewell to his siblings. His father hadn’t moved from his spot in front of the vast window, and Toni ignored him as he gave Mins a kiss and hugged Kat. Mins’s husband, Walli, dipped his chin in goodbye, but Mak offered a hand which Toni shook.

Flo, a bag of crisps in her grasp, gave him the warmest hug, the swell of her belly pressing into his stomach. Bett stood protectively over Angel as she colored, eyes narrowed at Toni as he approached. Instead of going for an embrace, Toni ruffled his niece’s hair and winked down at her.

“See you later, squirt.”

“Bye, Uncle Toni,” she said without looking up at him, thoroughly engrossed with her picture.

He didn’t bother saying goodbye to Bett. She was pointedly looking away from him. Sal was glaring, mostly at Gem, but at Toni as well. Toni held his brother-in-law’s stare just long enough to communicate his lack of intimidation before he dismissed Sal as casually as his father had dismissed him. Then he was taking Gem by the wrist of his lower left arm and walking them both out of the room.

“Bye!” Gem trilled, using three of his hands to blow obnoxious kisses to everyone in the room. “You’re welcome for the pleasure of my company.”

Toni chuckled. “You’re such a bitch.”

“And you love me for it,” Gem proclaimed confidently.

“I really do.”

When the lift closed and they started their descent, Gem looped an arm through Toni’s and squeezed. “You okay?”

“Of course, I’m okay,” Toni replied with his usual bravado.

Gem arched a chiding brow. “Toni.”

Air whistled through his nose with a heavy exhale. “I’m okay, Gemmy. It sucks. It always sucks. But I’m okay.”

“And your mom? I heard you yell boob job, so…”

“Apparently, her left breast is off center by three inches,” Toni said dryly.

“My gods, what a travesty,” Gem said with mock concern. When they exited the elevator, he added, “I’m glad she isn’t dying, though.”

“Me too,” Toni said as they left the clinic and walked into the late afternoon sunshine. “You know, my family can be a bit dramatic.”

“Mmm, more than a bit,” Gem said.

“Hey, you’re one to talk. Have you met your family?” Toni retorted.

“My family is not dramatic. We’re loud,” Gem admitted readily. “But dramatic?”

“You’re more than loud. Your family is crazy.”

“And have you met your family?” Gem threw Toni’s words back at him.

“We’re crazy too, but like rich-celebrity crazy.” Toni waved his hand at Gem to encompass his and his family’s entire existence. “Your family is crazy, like needs-to-be-heavily-medicated crazy.”

Gem simpered. “Oh, honey, sweetie, precious, innocent little baby, it’s adorable how you think we’re not all heavily medicated.”

Toni arched a brow at him. Gem tried and failed to smother a smile. Then they burst into laughter, and it felt so good. Toni loved his family, he did. But he was so glad that he’d made a better one for himself. One that would love him just as fiercely as he loved them; one that would celebrate every part of him, instead of just the parts that suited them.

His mother wasn’t wrong when she’d said that family was important. But it was up to Toni to decide what family actually meant. More often than not, blood didn’t amount to shit. It was choice that mattered in the end, and that was the family that meant the most.