Page 4 of Gratification in Gluttony (Passing Through Cafe #2)

Chapter four

Fuck Them Tits

The Madame’s set had finished some time ago, but Toni hadn’t noticed. He was too busy chatting with his friends and flirting with Jude, and the third drink he’d gotten for himself had started to alter his experience of time, anyway. After changing into their every-day clothes, Zef joined them at the table, their hair looking fine, thanks to Toni’s skills. Glyma and Quin headed out at some point, and Gem ordered shots. Somehow Toni ended up with two, and by the time the bar gave the last call, he was feeling good.

Rusty corralled them out of the bar, everyone heading to Gem’s to keep the party going. Since that meant more time with Jude, Toni didn’t complain. Instead, he flung an arm around Jude’s neck and breathed in the Gluttony night air.

“I’m jealous of Jimi,” Jude said, words running together.

“What? Who’s Jimi?”

Jude smacked Toni’s chest. “The guy you fucked in a locker room.”

Toni blew a noisy raspberry. “You don’t gotta be jealous of him. I’ll fuck you in a locker room any day, any time.”

Laughing, Jude shook his head. “No, that’s not—I mean, because he could change his gender, just like that, you know?”

“And that’s what you did, right?” Toni asked.

“I mean, I guess. I grew up a girl but never felt like one.”

With a somewhat awkward twist of his arm, Toni reached up and touched his thumb to the edge of Jude’s jaw. “That must have been hard.”

“It was.” Jude cleared his throat, leaning into Toni’s side until their bodies were pressed close. “I used to go to bed and pray that I’d wake up different, that I’d wake up a boy. But it never happened.” Jude looked a little sad for a moment before he shrugged. “Then I got older and decided that, even if God exists, I don’t need to beg him to do what I can do myself.”

Toni had never been religious, but the words still barreled into his chest. “Whoa, that’s some heavy, life-epitome shit right there.”

At his words, the melancholy of their conversation shattered, and Jude laughed. “I can be deep when I want to.”

“I feel like there’s a sexual innuendo hiding in that statement, but I’m too drunk to find it,” Toni teased, and Jude smacked him in the chest again, still laughing.

“Shut up.”

“Sorry, we’re being serious. Very serious.” Toni doctored his expression into a very somber one. “So, you decided you didn’t want to be a girl no more, right?”

“I don’t think I was ever a girl,” Jude corrected with an arch to his brow. “I was always me, even if the world told me I couldn’t—or shouldn’t —be simply because of the body I was born into.”

“That’s fucking stupid,” Toni said, wincing at the indelicate delivery. “I mean, you should be able to be whoever the fuck you wanna be. Though I’m sorry you can’t just snap your fingers and be different. Or can you?”

With a snort, Jude shook his head. “I have to take hormones and get surgery and stuff to ‘be different.’ It’s actually a huge hassle.”

“Really? That blows.” Toni cocked his head, gaze sliding down to the dip of Jude’s throat where his button-up revealed the hint of smooth skin. “Like with your tits, you mean?”

Jude nodded.

“So, like, they just chopped ’em off?”

“ Chop, chop, chop! ” Jude said, popping his p’s . “Tits be gone, bitch.”

“That’s fucking wild!” Toni said with a lazy grin. “Like, don’t get me wrong, I like tits just fine. But if you don’t want ’em, then, like, fuck them tits, you know?”

“Fuck them tits!” Jude hollered as he reached for the buttons of his shirt. “You wanna see my scars?”

Toni most definitely wanted to see Jude’s everything, so he nodded, his smile dropping quickly when Oliver intervened. He grabbed Jude’s hands and forced them away from where he’d been unbuttoning his shirt.

“Don’t take off your clothes!” he cried.

Jude scowled at him. “I’m just showing him my scars! God, what are you, my mother?”

“Yeah, are you his mother?” Toni echoed.

Oliver flipped them both off. “Shut up, Toni. You just want him to take off his clothes so you can sleep with him.”

“That’s offensive to my… dignity or something,” Toni sniffed haughtily, before dropping his voice to a purr as he said to Jude, “Though, baby, you fine as hell.”

Jude giggled. “Thank you. Oliver, Toni thinks I’m fine.”

Oliver pointed a wavering finger at Jude. “Do not fuck my co-worker, Jude!”

Pouting, Jude stumbled into Toni’s side, and Toni tightened his hold around the human’s shoulder, liking the way the smaller man fit against him. “Whatever. Just ’cause you haven’t had sex in eight months doesn’t mean the rest of us should suffer.”

“Eight months!” Gem shrieked, making Toni wince.

As the Araknis converged on Oliver, Toni guided Jude out of the way, not wanting to get caught up in what was surely going to be something dramatic and embarrassing. Because Gem was drunk and when Gem was drunk, shenanigans usually ensued.

Not that Toni had anything against shenanigans. He rather liked them, especially sexy shenanigans. He looked down at Jude who was watching Gem and Oliver and wondered if Jude liked sexy shenanigans.

Unfortunately, he never got the chance to ask because Gem and Oliver had a tumble with a Gymnot, which resulted in a failed attempt at wing-manning and lots of embarrassment for everyone involved. But mostly just Oliver. Toni was glad when they finally made it back to Gem’s flat.

He helped pass out the alcohol Gem retrieved from the cupboard above his fridge. Oliver snatched a bottle from his hand and brought it to his mouth, tipping it back and chugging it.

“I don’t think you should be doing that.” Toni tried to wrestle the bottle away, but Oliver pinned him with a hard look that was actually a little intimidating. For a human, at least.

“You can have this,” Oliver slurred, “if you can pry it from my cold, dead fingers.”

“Well, that was uncalled for,” Toni said as Oliver stumbled away, collapsing on the couch beside Willow.

As the alcohol flowed, the night sputtered forward in lurches and starts. At some point, Toni ended up perched on the armrest of the couch as Jude leaned back against him, his arm draped over Toni’s knee. Conversation buzzed around him as he played with the wavy curls at the back of the human’s neck.

Later, much to Toni’s delight, Jude removed his shirt to show off the scars on his chest, and Toni nearly choked on his drink when he caught sight of the dark ink etched into the human’s skin. It was biomechanical and covered most of Jude’s side and chest. But it didn’t hide the scars; it framed them. Showcased them.

“That ink is insane.” Toni lifted a hand to touch but hesitated. “Can I—”

“Sure,” Jude agreed quickly, stepping closer until he stood between Toni’s knees.

Carefully, so as not to scare him away now that he was so close, Toni traced the intricate design until he reached the thicker stripes of flesh where Jude had stitched himself into the man he’d always been. The tip of his finger followed the scarred tissue, and he studied Jude’s expression to make sure it wasn’t painful.

But Jude didn’t look like he was in pain. He was staring at Toni, eyes big, pupils dilated from drink and something else. Something darker, deeper. It made Toni want to growl in satisfaction.

“This hurt?” he asked, and Jude shook his head.

“Not anymore.”

“You’re proud of them, aren’t you?” Toni added pressure to Jude’s left scar, and the human inhaled sharply. “You should be. You remade yourself. But rebuilding ain’t easy. It means you gotta break things first; sometimes, you gotta lose something.”

Toni knew about that. Not to the extent Jude did, not in the same way. But Toni understood what it meant to break down who he thought he was in order to become the person he was meant to be.

He didn’t know how to say that, but he didn’t think he needed to. Because Jude was leaning in to Toni’s touch, eyes locked on his. His hands, so much smaller and softer than Toni’s, tentatively framed Toni’s neck, gently mapping the fluttering gills framing his throat. And Toni wanted. Fuck, he wanted .

But then Gem broke the moment, nearly toppling Toni off his perch on the armrest of the couch as he knocked his shoulder and said, his Lust accent bleeding through thanks to the alcohol, “Toni, tell Rusty to show me his nipples!”

Jude blinked dazedly, pulling away and buttoning his shirt back up as Toni gaped at Gem in horror. “What?”

Gesturing wildly at Rusty, Gem said, “Rusty says he has nipples, but I don’t see them. How are we supposed to know if they’re actually there if he doesn’t prove it?”

“He has fur,” Oliver said, sipping at his nearly empty bottle of liquor. “That’s why you can’t see them. I have nipples, but you can’t see them through my shirt.”

“I know that,” Gem said defensively. “But you showed them to me when I asked. Why are you”—he rounded on Rusty—“making this weird?”

Curled up in the armchair, Rusty crossed his arms protectively over his chest as he glared up at Gem. “You’re the one asking to see my nipples! You’re making it weird.”

“If you’d just show me, it wouldn’t be weird.” Gem sent Toni a look to indicate that the Pyclon was being entirely irrational about this whole situation.

Toni wrinkled his nose. “You know, I’m with Rusty on this one. I don’t wanna see his nipples.”

“But we’re winning,” Gem hissed, eyes wide. “No nipples are winning.”

“Huh?”

With an exaggerated sigh, like Toni was purposefully making his life difficult, Gem started counting off on his fingers. “You, me, Jude, Zef, and Tad don’t have nipples. Oliver and Willow do. And Rusty claims he does, but he’s not proving it. We need proof.”

“Prove it!” Oliver called, grinning like a drunken idiot.

“This is sexual harassment,” Rusty snarled.

“Prove it. Prove it,” Jude and Oliver started to chant. Gem and Tad quickly joined, and since it was annoying Rusty, Toni shrugged and added his voice to the chorus.

Releasing a deep-chested growl, Rusty glared at Gem as he grudgingly brought his mauve hands to his chest and parted the fur to reveal two small, rosy nipples. “There. Are you happy now?”

Gem squealed and pointed. “They’re so tiny!”

“No nipples for the win.” Jude high-fived Tad, then exchanged a thumbs-up with Zef, who returned it uncertainly.

For some reason, Gem insisted that he and Toni chest-bump, so they did. Gem fell over, howling with laughter. Despite his apparent annoyance, Rusty crawled out of his chair and bent to help Gem up.

“Okay, you need some water,” he said flatly as Gem climbed to his feet, numerous arms clutching at the Pyclon to keep his balance.

“Oh my gods, stop flirting with me.” Gem giggled and pointed at Rusty, not addressing anyone specifically as he said, “Like, seriously. So obvious.”

Huffing in frustration, Rusty struggled to disentangle himself from Gem’s many limbs. “Me telling you to drink water is flirting?”

“Well, you did show me your nipples,” Gem sniffed smugly.

“You made me!” Rusty hissed.

“Yeah, okay.” Gem made finger quotes with several hands. “I ‘made’ you. You’re so obsessed with me, it’s embarrassing.”

Rusty fisted his hands, black claws digging in as he bared his canines at the Araknis. “You’re lucky murder is a crime!”

“And you’re lucky your nipples are so cute,” Gem said, making Rusty step back and press his hands to his furry chest, like he was trying to cover said nipples.

“What?”

“I hate everything about this entire situation!” Toni barked, but no one was paying attention.

In fact, Jude was in what appeared to be a very intense conversation with Zef and Willow about gender. He was explaining his “transition,” like the hormones and tit surgery. Then he reached into his pants and pulled out a dick.

“Whoa, removable cock.” Toni pointed, eyes wide. “That’s sick!”

Jude nodded drunkenly. “I know!”

“May I inspect that?” Zef asked, and Jude handed it over.

It looked like the human dicks Toni had seen in porn, except it wasn’t hard. And it was made out of silicone, like the dildos Toni had at home.

“Why do you have this?” Zef asked, and Jude wiped his hands on his pants as a pretty flush colored his cheekbones.

“Well, I don’t, you know, have my own,” he said, looking for the first time unsure. “So, it’s gender affirming to wear that.”

“Can you use it?” Toni asked before he’d thought better of it.

“Um, not that one specifically. But I have, uh, other ones.” Jude swallowed thickly, and Toni followed the color that crawled down his throat.

“For sexual intercourse?” Zef asked, completely unfazed.

Sitting down beside Willow, Jude inspected his hands but nodded. “Mhm.”

“You come with accessories,” Toni said, voice deep and a little rough.

Jude met his gaze, a dark smile curling his mouth. “That’s one way to say it.”

“I have one,” Willow admitted around a giggle, her brown skin darker from drink and bashfulness. “Krul likes it very much.” She hid her peeling laughter behind her hand, like she’d confessed to something she shouldn’t have, and Jude grinned widely.

“It’s fun, right?”

Willow nodded. “So very fun.”

“It’s always the quiet ones,” Toni said, scrutinizing the unassuming Dryad. Willow smacked his leg in reprimand, but her eyes danced with mirth.

“May I ask more questions?” Zef stood from their perch on the coffee table, and Jude scooted over to make room for them beside him on the couch.

“Sure.”

Toni wasn’t sure how much time passed, but when Tad set fire to a towel in Gem’s kitchen, Rusty took away the alcohol and stored it back in the cabinets. He had to climb onto the counter to reach the high cupboard, which made Toni laugh a lot!

As they wound down, Toni ended up on the floor, shoulder propped against the couch as Jude lay on his side, hands tucked under his cheek. Toni was typing his number into Jude’s phone, then he texted himself so that he would have the human’s number in his.

Showing Jude the screen, he grinned as Jude read aloud, “The Hottest Demon I Know A.K.A. Toni. Wow, very original.”

“Just being honest,” Toni said as he added Jude’s contact to his list.

“And what am I in yours?”

Again, Toni tilted the screen so Jude could see it as he typed in, “The Hottest Human I Know A.K.A. Jude.”

Jude released a noise of disbelief. “You’re full of shit.”

“Only on days that end in Y .”

Toni tucked his phone away and settled his head at an awkward angle on the edge of the couch cushion. Jude sucked his bottom lip into his mouth as he studied Toni’s face sleepily. Toni did the same, trying and failing to resist the urge to reach out and touch.

As Toni tucked a curly wave of hair behind Jude’s cute, rounded ear, Jude circled his wrist with his fingers. “Toni—”

“I like you, you know?” he blurted, and those ochre eyes widened.

“You don’t know me,” Jude whispered.

Toni shrugged. “I know enough to know I like you. You should come around with Ollie more. We can, you know, hang out or whatever.”

Using the hand still captured in Jude’s grasp, Toni traced the swell of Jude’s cheek with the back of his knuckle. The human blushed, his heart beating faster, and Toni pressed the back of his hand to the blood-flushed skin, marveling at the warmth.

Jude didn’t pull Toni’s hand away, but he didn’t lean into the touch either. “I have finals coming up. And I’m doing a summer course for my master’s. It’s gonna be pretty intensive.”

Disappointment trickled through Toni’s chest, even though he didn’t understand half the things Jude had just said. But he knew it meant Jude was rejecting him. Which sucked.

“I don’t really have space for hanging out.” Jude’s brow furrowed as he shook his head. “Shit, I’m really drunk. Um, what I mean is—”

“It’s okay,” Toni whispered, giving Jude’s earlobe a gentle tug before he pulled away. Jude’s fingers slipped off his wrist, but their warmth remained for several seconds after.

“I like you too, though,” Jude added so quietly Toni would have missed it if his hearing wasn’t impeccable. “For what it’s worth, I like you too, Toni.”

Unable to stop his smile, Toni wiggled his head. “I mean, how could you not? I’m pretty much the best.”

Jude coughed out a laugh, and Toni rested his temple against the front of the armrest and settled his hands in his lap. Cautious fingers glided over his jaw until Jude was cupping his chin. When he added pressure, Toni turned to meet the human’s gaze.

“I’d like to be friends,” he said softly.

“Friends?” Toni echoed, and Jude nodded. “Okay, baby. I can do that.”

He offered Jude his hand, and the human rolled his eyes but slipped his smaller one into Toni’s. They shook on it, both of them smiling like drunken idiots.

Friends. Toni liked having friends, and while being only friends with Jude would be a lesson in torture, he was definitely up for the challenge.