Page 15 of Gratification in Gluttony (Passing Through Cafe #2)

Chapter fifteen

Unclenched Assholes

“Fisting!” Gem shrieked as Oliver—who was clearly pantomiming the action of digging a hole with a shovel—threw up his hands in dismay.

“How is this fisting, Gem?” the human demanded, repeating the action.

“How is that not fisting?” Gem retorted, copying the movement. “You’re clearly going in, then following through, and then—whoop.” He finished the movement with a horrifying punching motion. “Clearly fisting!”

“If that’s your idea of fisting,” Rusty said with a curl to his upper lip, “I pity your sexual partners.”

“Pft, you sound so jealous right now,” Gem said with an obnoxious wink at the Pyclon.

“Time,” Zef said.

Oliver groaned. “I want a new partner.”

“Hey, it’s not my fault you don’t know how to fist properly,” Gem snapped.

“I wasn’t fisting,” Oliver cried. “I was digging a hole.”

Gem snorted. “That’s practically the same thing. I think we should get the point for that.”

“You’re not getting that point,” Quin said.

“Okay,” Willow said, looking at the point sheet. “It looks like—oh, Liel and Zef won.”

“Yes!” Liel crowed, pointing at Oliver. “Suck it, babe.”

“When directed at Oliver, I think that’s more of an invitation than a burn,” Jude said as he propped his ass on the armrest of Toni’s chair.

Toni laughed and lifted a hand. “Noice!”

Jude high-fived him. “Thanks.”

Oliver, face flushed, took his seat next to Liel and pressed a kiss to the Gymnot’s cheek. “Congrats. I know how much you like winning.”

The grin Liel sent Oliver was filthy, and Toni could hear the human’s heart trip, then speed up as he leaned down to kiss Liel square on the mouth. Jude looked down at Toni and made a disgusted face, and Toni chuckled again.

“I want to play the game Oliver brought,” Glyma said as she held up a white tarp with many colored dots all over it. “It looks interesting.”

“You brought Twister?” Jude asked incredulously.

“Mega-Twister,” Oliver corrected. “The tarp’s double the normal size so we can play together.”

“It is a contact game?” Zef asked, and Oliver nodded, retrieving a board with a spinner and dots of color on it.

“Yes, but the game requires a referee who spins and calls the colors.” He offered Zef the board.

They took it, dipping their chin demurely. “Then I shall participate as the referee.”

“What are the other rules?” Gem asked.

Toni tried to pay attention as Oliver spread the mat out over the floor and explained the rules, but Jude had hooked his arm on the back of Toni’s chair and was currently dragging a fingertip along the pointed shell of his ear. It was incredibly distracting, especially given the smug smirk on Jude’s face, like he knew exactly what he was doing to Toni’s traitorous body.

Sneaky, little human.

“You have to play,” Gem said as Rusty shook his head.

“I’m colorblind. Half of those colors look the same,” he said.

“I’ll help you,” Gem said, patting the Pyclon’s head. “Just stay close to me, and I’ll tell you where to put your hands.”

Rusty’s right ear twitched. “What?”

“On the mat,” Gem said dryly. “Not everything’s a that’s-what-they-said joke.”

“Okay, but Gem can only use two hands.” Toni rose to his feet, using Jude’s thigh—not the armrest—to balance himself, smiling smugly at Jude’s sharp inhale.

“How’s that fair?” Gem demanded.

“Because the rest of us only have two hands?” Willow said.

“Then no tails.” Gem pointed at Glyma, Quin, and Rusty.

“And no stretching your roots,” Glyma said to Willow, who glanced down at her rooted stumps and nodded.

“Fine, I’ll keep my roots short.”

“Only two feet and two hands are legal,” Jude said.

“I’m going to win,” Liel predicted confidently. “I’m extremely flexible.”

Oliver nodded appreciatively. “He really is.”

“Gross,” Rusty said.

“Get into position,” Zef said, and everyone gathered around the large mat.

After removing his socks—“The mat is slippery!”—Gem wrapped his upper and lower arms around his torso, then waved his middle hands and bounced on his toe beans, tarsal claws clicking against the plastic. “I feel like my height is gonna be a real advantage here.”

“Flexibility matters more than height,” Liel sniffed haughtily.

“Let’s just play a clean game,” Quin said.

“I’m too short, so I have to cheat. It’s just logic,” Tad said.

“If Tad gets to cheat, I get to use all my hands,” Gem said.

“No cheating,” Oliver said sternly. “Two hands, Gem.”

“Fine!” Gem pouted.

“Left hand green,” Zef said, and the game began.

The first ten minutes was a calm, chill game. After that, things went downhill. Fast.

“Your ass is in my fucking face,” Toni cried as he balanced in a bridge position, doing his best to keep his spinal fin from touching the ground.

“My ass is in everyone’s face,” Gem snapped back. “It’s just that big. Get over it.”

“I think I’m allergic to Rusty’s dander,” Jude said a moment before he sneezed.

“Fucking rude!” Rusty growled, tucking his tail between his legs to keep it from hitting Jude in the face.

“That’s red, Rusty,” Willow said serenely, and Rusty growled as he shifted his hand from red to green. “Excellent job!”

“I love this game,” Glyma said as she arched over Quin who was trapped in a plank.

“Zef, please spin the arrow!” Quin gritted out.

“Tad’s knee touched!” Liel shouted. “She’s out, right?”

“It did not,” Tad said. “Get your eyes checked, bitch.”

“There’s no need for name calling, Tad,” Oliver chided.

“Right hand yellow,” Zef said.

Everyone groaned.

“Why are you going under me?” Rusty demanded as Gem cackled, forcing Rusty to twist himself impossibly to get one claw on a yellow dot, bringing him face-to-face with Gem.

The Araknis beamed at him. “Hey, Rus. Fancy meeting you here.”

“I hate everything about this,” he seethed.

“Well, hello there,” Toni said as Jude reached over his torso to touch yellow.

“Lower your ass for me, won’t you?” Jude said.

Toni obliged, and Jude pressed two fingertips to yellow. “Knew you couldn’t stay away from me.”

“Don’t flatter yourself,” Jude teased back.

“Oliver, if you make me fall right now,” Liel snarled as Oliver pressed against his back.

“It’s about having fun, baby,” Oliver said with a peck to the back of the Gymnot’s neck. “Not winning.”

“Every game is about winning,” he snapped back.

“Right foot yellow,” Zef said, and Toni howled with laughter as Jude swung a leg over to join his hand, effectively straddling Toni’s hips.

Practically chest-to-chest, Jude shook his head as Toni waggled his brows. “Hey, bitesize. How you doing?”

Oliver glared at him. “Keep it in your pants, Toni!”

“I didn’t say nothing,” Toni said.

“Calm down, Oliver. I can handle him just fine on my own,” Jude said blandly.

“Baby, you can handle me anytime you want,” Toni purred.

“Toni!” everyone reprimanded.

“It’s a joke! Don’t get your undies in a twist.” Toni winked at Jude, dropping his voice to a whisper. “It’s not a joke.”

“Shocker,” Jude said, sarcasm thick.

Shifting his weight, Jude’s ass dropped to graze over the front of Toni’s pants, and Toni stiffened. He arched a brow at Jude, who copied his expression innocently.

“What?” he mouthed.

“Watch it,” Toni mouthed back.

Jude smirked. “Oops.”

“Left hand blue,” Zef said.

“How?” Rusty demanded. “How, Zef?”

“Arch your back,” Gem said. “And I’ll, like, push up your ass so you can slide your hand—”

“Touch my ass, and I’m biting you,” Rusty said through clenched teeth.

Gem batted his lashes. “At least take me to dinner first.”

Rusty growled, flicking his tail to smack Gem across the face with it. Gem gasped, jaw dropping.

“You did not just zwaffyl me with your tail!”

“Do I even wanna know what that word means?” Jude asked as he leaned back to touch blue.

Toni slid his hand forward, bringing him into an almost sitting position with Jude essentially in his lap. “To hit someone in the face with your dick.”

Jude snorted.

“Don’t flick me!” Rusty said, trying to avoid Gem’s hand. “Only two hands.”

“Yeah, touching the mat. This hand’s not touching the mat,” Gem said as he flicked Rusty in the forehead with his upper hand.

“Zef, I thought you were the referee? Gem’s touching me!”

“No, I’m not,” Gem said, hovering his upper hands over Rusty’s face without making contact. “See, Zef? I’m not touching him.”

“Guys,” Glyma chided from her spot wrapped around Quin.

“I’m not touching you. I’m not touching you,” Gem chanted.

“What are you? Five?” Rusty snapped his teeth at one of Gem’s fingers that got too close.

“I know you are, but what am I?” Gem sneered back, clearly having the time of his life.

“Do not make me come back there!” Quin threatened.

“I don’t know why you all are complaining so much,” Tad muttered as she blatantly rested her weight on her knees so she could give one of her legs a break. “This game is easy.”

Willow—who was stretching her roots abnormally long—nodded. “I agree.”

“I’m literally having the best time,” Gem said around two fingers, before he removed them from his mouth and promptly jabbed them into Rusty’s ear.

“Oh, fuck this,” Rusty said, sweeping his foot under Gem to upset his balance and sending them both to the mat.

“Interference!” Gem cried. “Zef, he made me fall. That’s not fair.”

“They’re both out!” Liel shouted, pointing vigorously. “They touched, both of them. They’re out!”

“Liel, babe, you took your hand off blue,” Oliver said, and Liel gasped.

“Liel’s out,” Toni bellowed.

“No!” Liel lamented.

“This is so unfair,” Gem whined. “Rusty pushed me.”

“You started it,” Rusty mumbled.

“And I’m gonna end it here in a second, Care Bear!”

Shaking with laughter, Jude settled his weight on Toni’s thighs, making Toni grunt with the effort to keep his ass off the mat.

“You’re playing dirty,” he said.

“I do a lot of things dirty,” Jude said.

“Jude!” Oliver reprimanded.

“Don’t hit me,” Gem said, smacking Rusty’s arm.

“You shoved spit fingers in my ear. You have it coming,” Rusty said, poking Gem’s chest.

“Zef, tell Rusty to stop!” Gem wailed.

“Seriously,” Quin said, “don’t make me come over there.”

“Shall I continue?” Zef asked.

“Yes!” everyone—except Gem, Rusty, and Liel—said.

“Left foot blue,” Zef said.

“We’re already doing that,” Willow said.

“Okay, babe, you can do this,” Liel coached Oliver from the sidelines. “I can’t win this anymore, but you can. Win for me!”

“I’ll do my best,” Oliver said.

“My wrists are hurting,” Glyma said.

“I’m actually quite comfortable,” Toni said with a bit of a leer at Jude, still in his lap.

“I’m sure you are,” Jude said.

“Okay, hit me one more time, and see what happens?” Rusty hissed.

“I cannot believe you cheated just to make me lose,” Gem said, still pouting. “I’m gonna make sure you lose every single game we play tonight.”

“How will I ever survive?” Rusty deadpanned.

When Gem went to flick him again, Rusty bared his canines and batted his hand back. Then they really started in on each other, Rusty falling back to use his hands and feet to fend off Gem’s six hands.

“Okay, now you’ve done it.” Quin stood up, sending Glyma rolling to the mat.

“Babe!” Glyma said.

“Fuck, that was my eye!” Rusty yelped, rolling over, cupping his face.

Gem immediately pulled his hands back. “Oh my gods, really? I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to. Are you okay?”

“This is why we don’t hit people,” Quin said, glaring down at Gem and Rusty like an angry mother. “You fuck around, and someone loses an eye.”

“I didn’t lose my eye,” Rusty grumbled. “It just stings.”

“I really didn’t mean to poke your eye. Are you sure you’re okay?” Gem cupped Rusty’s face, making the Pyclon rear back.

“What are you doing?”

Huffing, Gem held his face tighter. “Looking to make sure your cornea isn’t scratched or something.”

“They should just kiss and get it over with,” Jude murmured under his breath, and Toni grimaced.

“What? Blech, don’t say that.”

Jude frowned down at him. “What?”

“That’s, like, the worst thing that could ever happen,” Toni said, allowing the revulsion to work through him. “Why would you even—ugh, I just threw up in my mouth.”

“You’re so dramatic,” Jude chuckled.

“We’ll be right back!” Gem announced as he dragged a protesting Rusty out of the room.

“What are they—”

“Right foot red,” Zef said, interrupting Toni.

“Well, it’s been fun.” Jude winked and maneuvered out of Toni’s lap. Unfortunately, his movement upset Toni’s equilibrium, and his ass lowered too far, hitting the mat.

“Damn it,” Toni sat heavily, shaking out his arms. “I’m out.”

Jumping to his feet, he shook his hand through Jude’s hair, making the human squawk in outrage. Toni stepped around Oliver and Tad, joining Glyma on the sidelines.

“I’ll get more snacks, yeah?” He patted Glyma’s back as he passed her, heading for the kitchen.

Before he’d taken more than a few steps, Gem and Rusty’s bickering drifted down the hall from the bathroom, and Toni faltered. What were they doing in the bathroom together?

Normally, when there was a conversation not meant for Toni’s ears, he’d be respectful and not eavesdrop. In this moment, however, fuck respect. He had to investigate.

Instead of continuing to the kitchen, Toni turned and marched down the hallway, ears straining to catch the conversation happening inside the bathroom.

“Okay, just take a deep breath,” Gem was saying as Toni approached the door to the bathroom.

“Can’t you just let me do it?” Rusty asked, sounding uncomfortable.

“Honey, if you do it, we’re gonna be here all night. Out of the two of us, I think I’m the one better equipped to get this accomplished. I mean, I got it in the first time.”

Toni reared back from the door. What the fuck?

“Yeah, and it fell out,” Rusty retorted. “I don’t think that’s a good indicator of your skills in this matter.”

“It wouldn’t have fallen out if you hadn’t been fighting me,” Gem said patiently. “Now, take a deep breath, go to your happy place, and let me put it in.”

Okay, seriously, what. The. Fuck?

“It’s gonna hurt,” Rusty said, sounding panicked now.

“Why would it hurt?”

“It’s too dry!”

Gem’s tone was more clipped now. “No, it’s not. I just got it wet.”

“And it’s already dry. I can see it!”

“Deities give me strength! Fine.”

“Ew, don’t lick it,” Rusty protested.

Lick it? What?

“It’s just a little spit; calm down.”

“You can’t use spit.”

Gem snickered. “I think you’d be surprised.”

“Gem!”

“Rus!” Gem said, matching the Pyclon’s tone. “You’re being such a sack right now. Pussy up, and let’s do this.”

Oh no, Toni didn’t like this conversation. He didn’t like it one bit!

“Just… go slow,” Rusty said, a slight whine in his voice.

“I’ll go so slow. You just need to relax and stop struggling so much.”

“Okay, I—whoa! That was way too fast, Gem!”

“Oh my gods, can you unclench your asshole for two seconds, so I can get this in?” Gem cried, and Toni had had enough.

“No!” Toni roared as he burst into the bathroom.

Gem shrieked wordlessly, and Rusty yelped, cupping his eye. “Fuck, you jabbed me in the eye again. Son of a bitch!”

“I’m sorry,” Gem said, fretting over the Pyclon. “Toni burst in and startled me.” Then he rounded on Toni, two hands on his hips, two crossed over his chest, the other two flailing. “What the fuck, Toni! I almost had it in.”

“No,” Toni shouted again. “There will be no putting things in other things, and definitely no unclenching of assholes in this house!”

Gem grimaced. “Jude’s not gonna have much fun here, is he?”

Toni snarled deep in his chest as he, for the first time, focused on the scene in front of him. Rusty sat on the bathroom counter, knees parted just enough for Gem to stand between them. He was still cupping one of his eyes, glowering at Toni with the other. Gem’s lips were pinched in disapproval as he held one hand aloft.

“What is happening right now?” Toni demanded.

“What does it look like?” Gem answered, motioning to the tiny contact lens balanced on his fingertip. “Rusty’s contact fell out, and I’m trying to get it back in.”

“What?” Toni said again.

“Rusty has a weird eye thing,” Gem said, like it was obvious. “He doesn’t like things near his eyes, which makes it difficult for him to put in his own contacts. So, I offered to help. Then you burst in here like a crazy person, and I almost stabbed his eye out. What if he’d gone blind, Toni? How could you live with yourself?”

“Asshole,” Rusty added, still rubbing his eye.

“But I…” Toni pointed at the door. “I heard—and then you said…”

Gem raised his eyebrows, waiting for Toni to say anything remotely intelligent. It just pissed him off.

“You know what? That whole conversation was very misleading!” Toni finally barked.

“Well, let that be a lesson to you. Don’t eavesdrop,” Gem said, before dismissing Toni entirely and staring Rusty down. “Okay, we’re doing this.”

“No!” Rusty tried to run, but Gem grabbed him with five arms and pinned him down as Rusty chittered hysterically. “Wait, just give me a second!”

“Shut up, and take it like a man!” Gem commanded, then he shoved the contact lens into Rusty’s eye faster than Toni could blink.

“Gem, stop—oh.” Rusty blinked several times, then looked up at Gem as the Araknis released him. “That worked.”

Gem exhaled, heavy and drawn out, like his life was incredibly difficult. “The thankless labor I do. Though, I do apologize for the toxic language. Taking it ‘like a man’ is stupid.” He rested his upper hands on Rusty’s shoulders and said, so seriously, “You take it however you want to take it, Rus. Okay?”

Rusty’s entire face screwed up in horror. “Don’t ever say that to me again. You’re making it so weird right now.”

“Oh, only now it gets weird?” Toni said, gesturing violently at the hallway. “You should have heard what it sounded like from the other side of that door!”

“Then don’t listen in on other people’s conversations,” Gem said, eyes wide and wild.

“Don’t yell at me, I’m feeling very fragile right now,” Toni said, rubbing at his arm fins. “That was a whole rollercoaster of emotions, and all of them were very, very bad.” He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “I think I need to lie down.”

Gem pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. “And people think I’m the dramatic one.”