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CHAPTER FIVE

Cassius

I can’t take my eyes off him.

I’ve never been jealous of an article of clothing before, but of course, everything is different when it comes to Skylar. Of course, it’s my fault for agreeing to come here in the first place. I’m not a huge fan of the beach, but when Elton called last night during mine and Skylar’s movie marathon, I couldn’t say no to his excitement.

He’s bouncing around playing beach volleyball with Rhys and Elton, those tight little neon green swim trunks riding up his ass and exposing his butt cheeks. When he turns to see if I’m watching him, I notice the outline of his cock nestled beneath the fabric, and I’m ready to rip those trunks off with my teeth.

I roll onto my stomach, pretending I’m trying to tan my back, so I don’t flash the entire XO crew with my raging hard-on. Damn it, Skylar. You just had to wear those fuck-me shorts. I try to focus on what everyone else is doing to distract myself, hoping it’ll buy me more time before I’m inevitably asked to take Skylar’s place. I love my beautiful ray of sunshine, but he sucks at beach volleyball.

Pulling out my phone, I scroll through the various reels he and I send each other on a daily basis. Even when we’re in the same room, we’re constantly sending them, or snapping each other, and it brings me joy every time to know he’s always thinking about me. I laugh again when I see the one of a tiny dog wrapped in a little blanket, laughing at Skylar’s declaration that it’s “so him.”

After a bit, I look up and see that Rhys and Elton are currently dominating Skylar and Everest, almost ten points ahead, but the pout Everest throws Rhys makes him miss a spike. Butch and Knox were asked to play, but it’s no surprise those two turned it down. Butch, dressed in actual clothing, sits under the big umbrella next to Knox, whose tattooed and pierced body is on full display, something that definitely distracts his husband.

“Sweetheart,” Knox snaps, reaching into the bag next to him for sunscreen. “It’s time to reapply.”

Elton rolls his eyes, but does as he says, jogging over so Knox can put more sunscreen on his shoulders. Just watching them is like a live porno, with Knox’s hands wandering way too low, and definitely where the sun don’t shine. That gives Everest and Rhys the perfect opportunity to kiss through the volleyball net, their fingers intertwining as they mumble “I love you” to each other. Butch…

Well, he’s just Butch.

Skylar bounces toward me, throwing himself on top of my back as he starts kissing my neck, making it extremely hard to—well—not be hard . “Mmm, are you going to play with me, Cassy?”

Fuck, I’d love to play with you, sunshine.

Clearing my throat, my cock aches where it’s trapped against the shitty towel I brought. “Maybe in a little bit, sunshine.”

“Okay,” he says, finally rolling off me so he can lie at my side. Like he can’t help himself, he starts tracing the freckles on my arm, lashes fluttering as his eyes meet mine. “Are you having fun? You’ve been lying here by yourself for an hour.”

I give him a warm smile. Skylar is so considerate, always worried about others, and wanting to make sure everyone is happy. While I’m a pretty chill guy, and I like our friends, I get people-ed out rather quickly. Mostly, I just prefer to be alone with Skylar, doing whatever it is he wants to do.

He obviously feels the same, because he leans in close and brushes our noses together. “I know I’m the one who insisted we come, but I wish it was just us two.”

I sit up on my elbows and move so I’m hovering over him, hard cock be damned. I run a hand through his hair, noting that his blond roots are starting to show, and tilt my head in a question. “What’s the next color?”

“I don’t know,” he mumbles, chewing his bottom lip in concentration. His eyes widen as he snakes his hands up to cup my cheeks. “You pick.”

I think through my options. He just had purple, so I don’t think he’d want to do it again, and it’s not really the right time of year for anything dark, not that he’d want such boring colors anyway. Honestly, I couldn’t give a fuck what color his hair is, because he always looks good to me. But I know I have to choose or else he’ll just pout until I do. “How about turquoise?”

His dual-colored eyes sparkle, his brown one glowing amber, while his green one turns crystal clear. “That’s perfect!” He goes to say something else until his phone dings beside him and he pushes me off. “Socials time!”

I snort, sitting up so that he can scramble for his phone. Ever since Elton put it in his head that I could gain more followers with personal content, Skylar’s been dead set on listening. Every day, he’s posting pictures on my behalf, sometimes of my not-so-unique outfits, other times of what we’re doing with the crew, but most of the time, it’s me doing absolutely nothing.

Settling himself on my lap, he rubs his ass on my crotch, forcing me to hold his hips with an iron grip. I know he never means it in a sexual way, but fuck me , a man can only have so much self-control. That doesn’t stop him from chuckling when he no doubt feels my cock harden.

Blushing with embarrassment, he nibbles on his lip as he turns to me. “Sorry. But this is going to be such a cute picture. It’ll be worth it.”

I’m trying to be annoyed, but I can’t. I could once again tell him that it’s just my body’s natural response to something hot and tight rubbing itself against me, but that would be a lie.

“Elton!”

Elton, who looks like he was on his way to straddling Knox in the middle of the beach, whips his head at us. “Yeah?”

“Come take a picture of me and Cass!”

He nods, leaving Knox, who looks entirely put out that we stole his husband. Elton takes the phone from Skylar, backing up just a bit, and smiles. “Okay, do we want to do something sweet or something spicy?” he asks, more to himself than to us. “Spicy gets more likes.”

“If it gets him more followers, spicy!” Sylar says as he bounces on my lap.

Fuuuuuuck .

“Let’s see— Oh! Can you straddle him and bite down on his bottom lip? That would be hot.”

Skylar doesn’t even question Elton and his marketing genius. He flips around, wrapping his legs around my waist, and bracing his hands on my shoulders. “Like this?” he asks Elton.

“Perfect! Now, make it look like he’s just sexy as hell, and you can’t help yourself!”

Fuck. You. Elton.

Skylar doesn’t have to try hard to make me weak in the knees. He looks at me through hooded lids, slowly trapping my bottom lip between his, and tugs, making me groan in response. I hear the camera going off, and barely register Elton directing us, before I’m smashing my lips against his.

He’s the sweetest thing I’ve ever tasted. Like fucking candy. So addictive, even though I know he’ll only end up hurting me in the end. I’m a masochist. I must hate myself, truly. Touching Skylar, kissing him, and holding him in my arms is all I do, even though I’m not his.

Skylar pulls back too soon with a giggle, pink lips wet and puffy as he smiles down at me, tugging at my roots. “Think your followers will like that?”

“Shit, man, I liked that,” Elton mutters, his cheeks flushed as he hands Skylar back his phone. “Got to—um—say hi to Knox real quick.”

Skylar throws his head back with a laugh as Elton books it back to his husband, Knox’s eyes wide with surprise as Elton literally throws himself at him.

“I think we got him all hot and bothered,” Skylar jokes, slipping off my lap to sit beside me. His eyes flash with excitement as he looks through the pictures. “Oh, Cass! They’re going to love these!”

I nod along, letting him post whatever he wants on my page. He and I have no boundaries, so all my socials are also on his phone. Meanwhile, I stare at his profile, wondering what’s going on in that beautiful brain of his.

“What are you thinking about?” I run my fingers through his hair.

He shrugs and looks a bit sheepish. “I know it’s a bit dumb, but I’m kinda hoping getting you popular will get you more recognition with producers.”

“You know I don’t need that.” Shrugging, I kiss his temple. “I’m happy where I’m at.”

I really am. I’m not just saying that. I’m not hungry or desperate for fame. My job at XO pays well, and I get to do what I love, so why would I need anything more?

“I don’t agree,” he says petulantly. “You’re so talented. It’d be a shame not to share that with everyone.”

I’m so indifferent, it’s not even funny, but I’ll let him dream up a life for me I have no intention of pursuing. “Whatever you say, sunshine.”

“Skylar! Want to play another round?”

“Sure!” Skylar yells back at Everest, hopping off the towel as he wipes some sand from his butt. Looking down at me, he blows me a kiss. “I’ll be right back.”

I nod and watch him skip away toward the net, where Rhys and Elton are already assuming their positions.

Lulling my head back, I close my eyes on a groan. Still hard. Fuck me. I think I’m going to live in a permanent state of blue balls for the rest of my life.

Sometimes, I want to hate Skylar. Sometimes, I wish I could be mad at the hell he’s put me through all these years. He must know, just like I do, that what we have isn’t normal for just friends. But that’s the thing about trauma, it fucks with those rational parts of your brain, twists your sense of right or wrong, and in Skylar’s case, messes with the meaning of love. The one word I’ve tried to define for him since we’ve met, that’s only proven to have landed me here.

As a comfort. As a savior. As a caregiver.

And nothing else.

“Sucks.”

I look up through the glare of the sun at Knox, whose eyes are on Skylar. He’s been weirdly kind these last few days. He’s been checking up on me and trying to make conversation. It’s strange, because it’s so unlike him, but it seems Elton’s changing him for the better.

Passing off as indifferent, I shrug. “Is what it is.”

“Doesn’t have to be,” he says. He rocks on his heels and chews the inside of his cheek. “So, you doing anything later tonight?”

I raise an eyebrow. “Um, working? Pretty sure you are too.”

Fuck me, his cheeks redden. “Right.”

Curiosity takes the better of me, and I sigh. “I’m not trying to be a dick, man. But what’s with the sudden interest in my life?”

He scowls, which I believe is his automatic reaction to literally everything someone says, but he drops it. As he crosses his tattooed arms over his chest, he scoffs. “Can’t be nice?”

“Maybe. Depends on what you want to get out of it.”

“I…” he trails off, looking sheepish as hell. Angrily, he growls, “Fuck you, I need friends.”

My eyes widen. “What?”

“Elton has his friends, and I realized that, while I love him, I should probably have friends of my own.” Pinching the bridge of his nose, he groans. “I sound stupid as hell.”

I shake my head. “No, you don’t.”

He’s skeptical as he continues. “I just think that you’re a decently cool guy. You don’t suck, and I thought we could get to know each other better.”

I think about it. I haven’t stopped to consider that Knox might not actually have friends of his own. Not that he’s blameless in that, since he can be a fucking bastard, but it looks like he wants to make a change. And I can’t lie and say I can’t low-key relate to needing someone else. At the end of the day, he’s not horrible anymore, so…

“I am working today,” I say honestly. “But maybe we can hang another night?”

He nods and—wow—actually smiles. “Sounds like a plan.”

Then he walks away and leaves it at that. Maybe this is a good thing. Maybe Knox can be someone I confide in.

Maybe this weight I’ve been carrying all these years doesn’t have to be carried alone.

The thought sounds nice to me.