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CHAPTER ONE

Skylar

I wake up with a groan, my head foggy as I blink my eyes open.

Pressing my hand against the side of my pounding head, I smack my dry lips together. Oh God, I’m hungover. Even though Cassius told me to only have one drink, I must have gotten a bit too trigger happy after Rhys proposed to Everest. Hopefully, Davis isn’t too mad at me for calling out of work last night.

I roll over onto my stomach, blindly reaching for my stuffed shark. Tucking it under my chin, I allow myself to feel like crap. Not only because of the various fruity vodkas I downed, but also because I’m single.

Again.

I can’t help it. I start to cry. What’s so wrong with me that every guy I date dumps me? I really thought Jimmy was special. He was kind to me most of the time and usually texted back quickly. I mean, he did spend a lot of time at night babysitting his aunt’s cat, but that wasn’t a deal breaker!

Wondering what I did wrong, I sob into my shark. Cassius says that I’m perfect, and that Jimmy was just an asshole, but they can’t all be assholes, right? At a certain point, if they all keep leaving, then I’m the problem. Me. I get too excited and hyper. I can’t always focus. Sometimes I need a lot of reassurance, but doesn’t everyone? I guess maybe my constant need for praise and affection can get annoying…

My arms start to itch. I bite my bottom lip, resisting the urge to scratch until the raised scars on my arms burn.

I’m just so lonely .

I want to find the one for me. Rhys and Everest are the perfect couple. Even Knox and Elton have found their soulmates. At what point is it going to be my turn?

Because no one wants you.

Because you’re pathetic.

Because freaks don’t find love.

I whimper and jump out of bed. No. The scary thoughts are going to have to chill because I can’t deal. Knowing the one person who can make them go away, I rush out of my room. I realize Cassius is in the shower when his bed is empty, and I head that way. A puff of steam leaves the bathroom when I open the door, and I shut it right away so he doesn’t feel the chill of the AC. Without thinking, and only needing to be close to him, I strip quickly. I toss my clothes over my shoulder and yank the shower curtain open, revealing my best friend in all his naked glory.

Halfway through shampooing his hair, his eyes snap open, and he curses when some gets in his eyes. “Sunshine, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” I say as I step into the tub. “I just missed you.”

He scrubs the rest of the shampoo off his face and smiles. That’s the smile that fights the monsters. Without needing to say anything, he brings me into his arms and drags me under the spray. I melt against him, taking in all his warmth and reassurance.

“How are you feeling?” he asks as he squirts some shampoo onto my head. “I thought you’d sleep in more after how much you drank last night.”

Please , I wish I could have. Shutting my eyes and moaning, I shrug. “Fine.”

He hums under his breath, and I have to snicker. Cassius isn’t much of a talker, preferring to guard quietly from the shadows, but he has a little tell. His hums and grunts are a language that only I know, and I fully understand that he doesn’t believe me.

“Sunshine…” he warns as he starts rinsing my hair.

“I’m… sad,” I say quietly, leaning back against his chest. “Drinking away my problems didn’t help.”

He snorts. “It usually doesn’t.” Tapping my hip, he says, “Turn.”

I do exactly that and let him wash my body, smiling softly at him when he stops to press kisses to the inside of my arms. “I just think that maybe I have to try harder.”

He cocks an eyebrow and his hands stutter as they lather my stomach. “Explain.”

“They all leave me, right?” I question, huffing when he refuses to answer. “Well, they do. So, if the problem is me, I have to reevaluate my methods of seduction.”

His hands stop on my hips, and he gives me a deadpan look. “Methods of seduction,” he repeats with a shake of his head. “How many times do I have to tell you, there’s nothing wrong with you?”

I scoff. “That’s doubtful.”

“Skylar—”

“All of me”—I whine when he pulls away. Pointing at my dick, I wink at him—“needs to be squeaky clean.”

Assessing me, he hesitates. Everyone says Rhys is the genius, but I think my best friend is the smartest person on the planet. He’s calculating, but not in a mean way. He’s just so considerate with his thoughts and his words, always thinking before saying or doing anything. My polar opposite since, apparently, I have nothing resembling self-control and restraint.

I close my eyes and sigh happily when he starts massaging soap onto my dick. Aw, that feels so nice. I brace my hands on his wide shoulders, letting him take care of me like he always does. He’s such an amazing person. Always making me feel so safe. He’s really the greatest friend anyone could ever ask for.

“I’m sorry,” I squeak when I get hard.

He just grunts and continues down to my balls, rolling them in his hands before spinning me. “Spread your cheeks, sunshine.”

I lean forward and do what he instructs, giving him access to every inch of me. Running a finger down my crease, he lathers me quickly. “What do you think I have to work on?”

He’s shaking his head when I look over my shoulder. “I told you. You’re perfect. There’s nothing you need to fix.”

I roll my eyes and straighten up once he finishes cleaning me. “You’re just biased.”

“Absolutely.” He wraps his arms around my waist and drops his lips to the top of my head. “You sure you’re okay? You’re not going to?—”

“No,” I cut him off before he can say it. Those are yucky memories and…I don’t do that anymore. “Everything is fine, Cassy.”

Again, he doesn’t believe me, but everything truly is fine. I have him, right? My best friend who will never leave me. So, who cares that I don’t have true love or a forever boyfriend or sex?—

I gasp. Oh, fuck. No more sex.

Now I really want to cry.

“What are you thinking about?” he asks, cocking his head. “You look like you’ve seen a roach.”

I throw my head back with a whimper. “Who’s going to fuck me now? You know I have a high libido, Cassy.”

He blanches and chokes on nothing but spit. “Jesus, sunshine…”

With a groan, I toss my hands up in the air. “Fine, fine. I guess my dildo will have to do, but know that I’m fucking myself in protest. Think about that .”

He growls something under his breath, but I’m already shutting off the water and stepping out of the tub. I reach for our towels hanging on the back of the door and hand him his. “What are you going to do for the rest of the day?”

Quickly, he wraps the towel around his waist, his pale chest all splotchy and red as he clears his throat. “Work.”

I nod. “Right. Do you think I should pick up a shift today? I feel bad I left Davis hanging last night.”

For a second, he just stares. I wonder what’s on my face until he seems to snap out of it. With a low hum, he presses me against the bathroom door until I drop my towel. He grabs both of my wrists in one hand and drags them up over my head. Dropping his forehead onto mine, he rasps. “You don’t need to feel shit. You were distraught. If Davis doesn’t understand, he can go fuck himself.”

I smile widely, squirming under his touch as I brush my nose against his. “You’re going to beat him up for me, Cassy. The big, bad boss? You know you’ll have to get past Butch first.”

His blue stare is mesmerizing, so intense, and I love it. Instead of answering my question, he uses his free hand to seize my jaw and tip my head up. “Kiss me.”

I do so without a single complaint. Running my tongue across his bottom lip, I tease him a little. It’s not weird; Cassius and I are these types of friends. Some friends like to hug, and we like to make out every now and then. It’s healthy, even.

He groans against my mouth, but then bites down roughly on my bottom lip, forcing my jaw to drop in a gasp. Fucking his tongue into me, he squeezes my wrists and yanks them farther up the door. I arch my back and let him consume me, finding that everything else seems to fade away at his rough touch. I don’t know if he’s doing that on purpose, knowing I needed a break from everything, and giving me what I need.

He really is the greatest friend anyone could ask for.

After a minute or so, he pulls back, gasping for breath as he buries his head in the crook of my neck. “I have to go. Rhys needs me to grab something before my shift.”

“Okay,” I whine. Wiggling my hands out of his hold, I wrap my arms around his back. I hate it when he’s gone. “I’ll miss you. Maybe I’ll come in tonight and hang out by the stage?”

He chuckles against my neck and presses a kiss right behind my ear. “Sounds like a plan, sunshine.”

When he pulls away, I can’t help but place a quick kiss on the tip of his nose. “I love you very much, Cassy.”

Smiling softly, he nods and brushes his thumb against the corner of my mouth. “I love you too.”

I tug my bottom lip between my teeth and raise my eyebrows. “Forever?”

“And always,” he finishes. He takes a shaky breath and pushes off me. “I really need to go.”

I nod as we exit the bathroom. I don’t let him out of my sight, though. Going with him to his room, I chill naked as he gets dressed. I ask him question after question about what Rhys needs him to get, about what his set tonight will be, about whether he wants me to bring him food on his break. I fill in the space with nothing but conversation, even though I grow more and more scared as the seconds tick by.

I even follow him to the door, pouting when he insists for the fifth time that he has to go. He kisses me again, just a little butterfly kiss, and leaves.

Leaves me alone.

I hate being alone.