Page 20

CHAPTER NINETEEN

Cassius

“You okay, man?”

As I roll my shoulder, the joint screams in protest. I nod at Knox, who hands me a water bottle, and do my best to shrug. “It’s fine.”

“It doesn’t look fine,” Rhys comments as he cocks his head to get a better look. “That was a hard hit.”

I wave away their concern. Yes, it does hurt like a motherfucker, but I’ve experienced worse. I was distracted that last minute of the fight and let that guy get the upper hand. I recovered quickly, though. Now, he’s lying flat on his back in the middle of the makeshift ring. Probably won’t wake up for a hot second, but that’s not my problem.

Somehow, Knox and Rhys have put aside their differences to become my makeshift cornermen. They come to every one of my fights now. I know Knox just like the bloodshed, while Rhys must keep coming to make sure I don’t get killed. It’s funny, though, because it’s given them a reason to realize that they’re more similar than they’d care to think. If they actually stopped and talked , they could be pretty good friends.

“Great job tonight!” the commissioner says as he approaches us, a big wad of bills in his outstretched hand. “Thought you were going to disappoint me for a second there.”

I grunt. He’s seen enough of my fights by now to know that I don’t lose. I haven’t yet. Call it luck or pure-born skill, but I’ve won every challenge I’ve faced. It’s done nothing to cool the itch for more blood, more fights, more power. I’m becoming addicted to it. That feeling when I’m in the ring, it’s only second compared to?—

“We should head out, man,” Knox says, slapping the shoulder that isn’t injured.

Rhys nods and grabs the bag at my feet. “What are you going to tell Skylar when you get home?”

I snort as I unwrap my knuckles. “Nothing. He doesn’t need to know.”

Rhys and Knox share a look as we leave the abandoned warehouse to Knox’s car. They silently bicker for another moment before Rhys clears his throat. “So, you still don’t plan on telling him?”

“Nope.” I punctuate with a shake of my head.

“What have you told him when you come home beat to hell, then?” Knox questions, as if I’m an idiot. “Skylar might be…”

When I growl, he raises his hands in surrender.

“I was just going to say unobservant. He’s not an idiot. How do you explain this?”

I look down at where he’s gesturing. Still shirtless, I can see that there’s a nasty bruise that’s going to cover most of my torso in the next few days. My knuckles were taped, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t blistered by the punches I threw. I think my face is okay tonight, for the most part, with the only obvious injury being a little cut to my upper lip.

Once we reach Knox’s car, I take my bag from Rhys so I can put on a clean shirt. “He thinks I’m boxing.” When I pop my head out of the shirt, I see their blank stares. “What?”

“You’re lying to him,” Rhys deadpans, appearing almost pissed.

I scoff. “It’s not a?—”

“Yeah, it is, man,” Knox cuts in, curling his lip in disgust. “How can you lie to him about this? How can you lie to him at all?”

Irritation burns in my gut. They just don’t understand. I’m only lying to protect Skylar’s feelings. If he knew what I was really up to, he’d freak the fuck out. He’d constantly be on me, worrying and fussing, and I don’t need that. I don’t need him agonizing over whether I’m too hurt. And…I’ve come to realize that I like fighting. I like the violence, and Skylar would want no part in that. But instead of explaining myself, I do something much worse.

“You want to talk about lying? Who’s the one who fucked Elton’s little brother and lied about it for months ?”

Knox’s eyes widen, and his head rears back as if he’s been slapped. Rhys’s brow furrows on a wince. “Not cool, Cass.”

My face pales. Fuck . I open my mouth to apologize, but Knox beats me to it.

“Fuck you!” he roars, shoving me back by my shoulders, causing me to let out a painful hiss. “It was a mistake, and you know I almost lost him because of that. You know that shit, Cassius!”

I shake my head as he pushes me again. “Knox?—”

“And I learned from my mistake! That you shouldn’t fucking lie to the people you love!” He continues, more and more worked up by the second. “Here you are! Lying to the supposed love of your life! For what? Just so you can pretend you’re some big, powerful man, when you’re really scared as shit, Skylar will never love you back!”

“Enough,” Rhys spits, dragging Knox back by his shirt. “It’s not worth it.”

Knox spins on his heels toward Rhys, grabbing onto his arm, and I wonder what his game plan is until he speaks again. “I made a mistake, man. That’s it. It was one fucking mistake. I didn’t mean to hurt Elton. I fucking love him.”

Rhys’s eyebrows pinch together in concerned curiosity as he nods slowly. “I know that, Knox.”

“I— Fuck!” Knox screams. He paces back and forth while snagging a pack of cigarettes from his back pocket. Lighting up quickly, he mumbles to himself as he tries to calm down. He turns and glares at me as he takes a drag. “Keep my husband’s name out of your fucking mouth and find your own ride home, asshole.” Flipping me off, he turns to Rhys. “You coming, man?”

Rhys looks between us before giving him a clipped nod. “Yeah.”

“Rhys,” I say, reaching out to stop him, but he shakes his head. “I’m sorry.”

“What’s going on with you, Cass?” he asks gently as Knox hops into his car. When I don’t answer, he hangs his head and sighs. “Fine. You do what you want. Just don’t drag us into your shit. Knox didn’t—” He curses under his breath, like he’s in disbelief of himself. “Knox didn’t deserve that.”

I nod solemnly, feeling like an absolute jerk. “I know. I don’t know why I said that.”

“Figure it out soon, okay?”

When Knox honks, Rhys doesn’t turn to look at him as he flips him off.

“Anyways, I’ll see you at work. You’ll get home okay?”

“Got my phone,” I say weakly as I gulp. “Can you tell him I’m sorry?”

“Rhys Conway! Get your fucking ass in here, or I’m leaving you too!”

Rhys chews the inside of his cheek. “Yeah…maybe not. Sorry, man.”

As he jogs toward Knox’s car, telling him to wait a fucking second, I let out a deep breath I hadn’t known I was holding. Wow , I was a major dick. I don’t know what possessed me to rub Knox’s past mistakes in his face like that. I just didn’t want to talk about why I’m still?—

I run a bruised hand down my face and curse. Pulling out my phone, I call up a rideshare app instead of calling Skylar. Everything is fine. There’s nothing wrong with what I’m doing. I’m saving money for Skylar and me. I’m building a little cushion for our future, the future we’ll have together . And, so what that I like it? I’m just… I don’t know. Having fun? Embracing this new side of myself? Finally doing something for me ?

But even those thoughts aren’t comforting as a new sinister feeling creeps in.

Guilt.