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CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

Cassius

I’m on edge.

I sling my arm over Skylar’s shoulder, dragging him to my side as we enter the lit-up club. It’s not XO, which isn’t entirely unusual for us, but it’s been a hot minute since any of us have been to a rave.

All of us are here—Butch too, surprisingly—thanks to the tickets Elton scored us. He helped promote this event, so as a thank you, they gave him a bunch of free tickets he shared with us. The DJ playing isn’t someone super well-known, but none of us are snotty in that way. We’re just here to have a good time and enjoy the night off Davis gave us. He must be feeling unusually charitable, because it’s not easy figuring out how to cover all our shifts.

But despite this rare night when we can all be together, I’m still…off. Restless, even. Out of sorts and too much in my own head. It’s been a week since that disastrous meeting with the producer, and things have been fine, but a nagging feeling of inferiority is creeping in on me. I know Skylar was just trying to do something nice. He’s that type of guy. Still, wanting me to meet Nancy when I obviously didn’t… What does that mean he thinks of me?

Questions have plagued me. In my quest to be good enough for him, will I ever truly be? Am I not famous enough? Rich enough? Established enough? Is there more I can do to prove to him that I’m the one?

“This is awesome!” Skylar cheers, the neon green lines on his face glowing in the black light.

“Trippy,” Max mumbles as he stares at the dots from the strobe light that shine on his skin. “Woah.”

“Ever been to a rave before?” Everest asks, flushing and squirming when Rhys grabs a firm hold of his ass and yanks him closer.

Max doesn’t seem to notice that Rhys is two seconds away from fucking Everest right here, right now, and shakes his head. “Wasn’t really my type of crowd.”

“Ugh, I love virgins,” Skylar sighs dramatically as he hops up to pinch Max’s cheeks. “So adorable.”

Butch rolls his eyes. “I guess I’m Bambi’s babysitter for the night, then?”

“You’re all our babysitters,” Knox clarifies with a smirk. “You know, since you pulled the short straw.”

Literally. We drew straws before we came here to see which one of us would be the designated driver. Well, we’re probably going to take a rideshare home—more than likely, if I’m being honest—but it’s always nice to have at least one sober person in the group. It used to be Britt, because she’d volunteer, but now the burden lies on our grumpy bodyguard.

When Max wanders off into the crowd, his eyes wide with an euphoric haze, Butch groans. “Fuck me. I’ll get him.”

Knox snickers and laces his fingers with Elton’s. “Come on, sweetheart. Let’s get some drinks.”

Elton nods as he follows behind his husband. “We’ll catch you all later.”

I up-nod him as they pass and snort at Skylar, who’s practically vibrating at my side. Smirking, I kiss the top of his pink head. “Excited?”

“Did you…” He bites his lip as he looks up at me. “Did you get the stuff?”

I grin as I produce a baggie of tabs from my back pocket. Skylar and I don’t roll very often, but when the mood strikes, we have the best fucking time. I don’t bother asking if Rhys and Everest want to participate. Because of Rhys’s past, they’re both completely against doing drugs, not that they judge.

Rhys must sense what we’re about to do, because he places a territorial hand on Everest’s hip. “Don’t go too hard.”

We never do, but I appreciate his concern. “No worries, man. Find us in about an hour?”

He nods and disappears into the crowd with Everest. Skylar’s bouncing on his toes with his tongue out as I take a tab out of the bag. Instead of placing it on his tongue, I put it on mine, then grab him by the back of his head and crash my lips against his. I stroke his tongue with mine, inhaling his sweet little whimper, and transfer the tab to him. When he pulls back, he’s got this hazy look in his eyes, but I know it has nothing to do with the drugs.

Taking another tab, I place it on my tongue. I cut them earlier today so we could just microdose. Not strong enough to actually trip balls, but mild enough to feel euphoric as hell.

It takes a minute for it to kick in, but when it does, Skylar and I are flying . We’re in the center of the dance floor, our bodies writhing against each other as I map out every inch of him.

His hands are wrapped around my neck as we move to the beat of the set. I catch his beautifully dilated eyes before he tips his head back and exposes his slender throat. I don’t think, just pounce. Placing my lips on the base of his throat, I suck until he’s panting. When I pull back, it’s with a satisfied growl at the blotchy purple mark I left on him.

“More!” he shouts, exposing his throat again as he grinds against me.

I chuckle and do exactly as I’m told. I know he’ll wake up tomorrow mortified at the purple collar I’m giving him, but I don’t give a fuck. He doesn’t either. That’s the beauty of microdosing. It exposes your baser instincts and highlights the needs you bury deep down. Together, rolling in the middle of this loud ass crowd, it’s just the two of us. The two of us in sync. The two of us connected. The two of us in our own private world.

But then the mood changes.

The beat slows.

The lights turn a sinful red.

The smell of sweat and weed and sex permeates around us.

These light touches aren’t enough now. Neither of us is satisfied. I’m grabbing onto his pert ass and fucking my groin against his. He’s humping my leg like a fucking slut. We’re both breathing heavily, our mouths open and gasping into each other. I’ve never been this turned on in my life.

And by the way Skylar moans when I slip a hand into the back of his skimpy shorts, I know I’m not alone.

But then I feel something hit the back of my hand. I drag my eyes away from Skylar’s face long enough to see a man towering behind us. He’s just an average guy—nothing special about him—but my mind races to all sorts of conclusions.

I haven’t succeeded yet. Skylar still isn’t mine. What if he starts dancing with this man and realizes he’s found the one? He doesn’t even notice that the guy’s hands are now on his hips, dancing with him in a way I’m sure is innocent, but not to my mind.

To my drug-addled psyche, this douche is trying to take what’s mine.

And I won’t let that fucking happen.

Before I know what I’m doing, my fist is flying through the air and connecting with that guy’s jaw. He staggers back, holding his hand up to his nose, and the fury in his eyes lets me know there’s going to be some sort of retaliation.

Bring it on.

“Cassius! No!” Skylar yells, trying to step between us. “Stop it!”

Both of us ignore him, but this guy goes as far as to shove Skylar out of his way. That’s what makes me snap. You can do whatever the fuck you want to me, but leave my sunshine the fuck out of it.

In a matter of seconds, this stranger and I are going at it on the dance floor. Fists fly, blood splatters, and I know my body will ache tomorrow, because while I’m good, so is this guy.

But I’m fighting for Skylar. I tell myself that. I’m fighting for our future and for our love. That’s it. No one is allowed to take him from me. If they do, it’ll be from my bloody, beat-up hands.

I’ve got the guy on the ground now, and Skylar’s cries to stop are nothing but background noise to my symphony of rage. But I’m pulled off before I can let my fist slam down against his cheek.

“What the fuck?” It’s Butch that yells in my ear. He takes my struggling form and easily pulls me up. “Cassius! What the hell has gotten into you?”

“Let me at him!” I roar, thrashing against his grip. He doesn’t need it, but Rhys and Max are quickly at his side to help him hold me back. Still, I fight. “Fuck him!”

The guy must notice that he’s outnumbered, because he doesn’t try to continue what we started. He flips me off before blending into the crowd and walking away.

“Cassius!” Skylar yells, appearing in front of me with mismatched blood-shot eyes. “What the fuck was that? Are you okay?”

“No, he’s fucking high,” Butch growls, then finally releases me when he sees I’m not going to chase that guy down. “Kid, what were you thinking?”

My chest heaves as I look around at all my friends. While Rhys and Butch are pissed, I can tell they’re just as concerned as everyone else. But it’s when I look at Skylar that my mind immediately sobers as the weight of what I’ve done crashes onto my shoulders.

I made him cry.

Tears are streaming down his face as Everest and Max try to soothe him. That’s my fucking job. I take a single step forward, but Knox’s hand is what stops me. He gives me a meaningful but hard look, almost like an I told you so , but I ignore him. I know what’s running through Skylar’s head. He’s been brought back to our youth, to the times when he would watch me beat the living shit out of anybody who dared to hurt him.

And, just like then, there will never be anything in the way of Skylar and me.

Everest and Max step to the side as I engulf Skylar’s sweat-slicked body. I press his sobbing face against my bare chest as I rub circles up and down his back. “It’s alright. It’s over now.”

“A-Are you o-okay?” Skylar asks, his tears searing my skin as he shakes.

I nod. “I am. Everything is fine. Everyone is okay.”

“Why w-would you d-do that?” he cries. “You k-know I d-don’t like it w-when you f-fight.”

My body stiffens. I catch Knox’s eye over Skylar’s shoulder, and the look he’s giving me is enough to send chills running down my spine. It’s on the tip of my tongue to say that fighting is sometimes good, that sometimes it’s necessary, and that it’s not as bad as he thinks. I feel the need to defend myself and what I’ve been doing behind Skylar’s back.

But now isn’t the time.

So, I kiss the top of his colorful head, inhaling his strawberry shampoo as I pull him closer. “I promise. No more fighting.”

Knox scoffs as he laces his fingers with Elton’s and walks away. Rhys seems to be debating something, but one tug from Everest has him following the others.

“So, rave over?” Max tries to defuse the tension.

Butch just shakes his head at him. “Yeah, Bambi. Rave’s over.” He sighs as he drags the weight of his world down his face. “Let’s get these kids in a car, and then I’ll take you home. I think we all just need a good night’s sleep.”

But later that night, with Skylar wrapped in my arms, still coming down from his flashbacks, sleep doesn’t come.