Page 20 of Find Me Again (KRK Security #3)

As the door closed after the last of his cousins, Ryan turned back to the living room with a relieved sigh. Only his grandfather was still there, settled with his tea in the armchair, his knees covered in a blanket and the books he received as gifts still in his lap.

"I love them all, but boy, am I glad Christmas is only once a year," he said before taking a sip of his drink. "And that I'm too old to be pestered into cleaning up after them."

Snorting, Ryan took a seat on the couch close to him.

"They largely cleaned up after themselves, so there's that, at least."

While his parents were sorting things out in the kitchen, everything that needed to be taken care of in here had been dealt with.

As his grandfather only hummed, Ryan let himself relax into the seat and picked up his own mug. He'd eaten too much, yet again, which meant he would have to work harder after the break to get back into shape, but for now he could enjoy being stuffed with delicious food and not thinking about work.

The time was running out on that, but it was a worry for another day.

"Rumors have it you've been spending time with the Hopkins boy again."

The mug almost slipped out of Ryan's hand.

Spending time . He could only hope there was no double meaning intended in that, because no matter what would happen after Neil's coming out, Ryan didn't want to give anybody any ideas.

Especially himself. Just in case.

"Rumors have it, huh?" He shook his head. "I swear, this whole town has a gossip phone tree nobody ever added me to."

His grandfather raised his eyebrows. "Well, we wouldn't be able to talk about you if we did, would we?"

"So you're not denying it exists."

"I'll neither confirm, nor deny."

"But you want me to confirm or deny?"

"Too many people have seen the two of you to deny anything, so don't bother."

Not knowing what to say to that, Ryan took a sip of his tea. It wasn't like he and Neil were doing anything in public that could be suspicious, but he figured with Neil's fame and their history of a sudden falling out nobody ever understood, everything they did could be interesting to some.

"I'm glad you reconnected," his grandfather said after a minute.

Ryan nodded. This, he could admit to. "Me, too."

"When you're young, certain things can feel like the end of the world, but as you get older, you realize that's actually never true. The life goes on, always." His grandfather paused. "And yet, it's good to get a do-over once in a while."

It was tempting to protest, to say that it wasn't a do-over, because they could never get back everything they'd lost. Then again, they weren't the same people anymore, and Ryan wouldn't want to return to being that na?ve boy who had sometimes been too passive for his own good.

What he missed the most wasn't even about that, though. It was the certainty of having his person, his best friend and his love, right there with him through thick and thin.

For years now, he'd been hoping that he would find that feeling again, and yet, he wasn't sure if that was even possible.

If he could get a do-over with that …

Well, it would probably be one Christmas miracle too many, wouldn't it?

* * *

Neil pressed him against the door as soon as the door closed behind him, and Ryan sank into the kiss, slipping his arms under Neil's jacket right away.

It had been barely twenty-four hours since they'd seen each other last, so this level of hunger should be ridiculous. They weren't teenagers anymore, after all.

"I want to ride you," Neil murmured when they parted for breath. "Want to drive you crazy with how slow I can go."

Damn . "Yeah, okay." Ryan started to push the jacket off of him. "Come on, then. Get to it."

Neil tilted his head to look at him, and Ryan could see his smile, soft and yet with a hint of a challenge there.

The deadly combination, as far as Ryan's heart was concerned.

"Impatient already?" Neil teased, even though he did tug his jacket off. "Perfect."

"You're the one who kissed me the moment you walked in."

"Oh, I know I'm impatient. But I thought you wouldn't be so easy."

You have no idea how easy I am for—

Ryan stopped himself right in time, pulling Neil into another kiss as he started to walk him backwards towards his bedroom.

"You want to tease me, huh?" he whispered. "Seems like you may be the one who won't stand going slow."

Neil's hands clenched on Ryan's sides. "Challenge accepted. Let's get naked."

Ryan didn't often laugh during sex, but with Neil, it was the most natural thing, especially during foreplay—the teasing and the back and forth came so naturally to them that there was no thought involved, no plans.

Then came a switch, sometimes subtle and sometimes not, and the mood shifted right into that intense, narrow focus that took Ryan's breath away.

Tonight, it came when they were both naked, with Ryan on his back on the bed and Neil covering him from head to toe, pressing him down, and staring at him with his eyes so dark they were almost black.

And Ryan melted into the mattress, completely letting himself go—even his thundering heart eased up a little, and he closed his eyes at the sudden rush of emotions escaping him all at once.

Neil, in a move that threatened to shatter Ryan into a million pieces, brushed their noses together before leaning down for another kiss. This time it was slow, and yet deep and thorough, as if they had all the time in the world for this.

As if nothing else mattered.

Then one of them shifted slightly—Ryan wouldn't be able to say who—and their erections brushed against each other, making them both inhale sharply at the friction.

The heat that had been simmering blew up into a raging fire, and Ryan gripped Neil's sides hard, suddenly desperate to get inside him.

"Come on, I was promised a ride."

With his bulk, it shouldn't be possible for Neil to move so smoothly, so fast, and yet, barely a few seconds later, he was straddling Ryan with a bottle of lube already in his hand.

All that agility training sure came in handy for more than just hockey.

Ryan ran his hands up and down Neil's thighs as he watched him stretch himself.

"You're gorgeous like this," the words slipped out without his permission, but they earned him a bright smile from Neil, so Ryan didn't mind.

"I'll look even better when you're all the way inside," Neil told him, withdrawing his fingers and shifting a little to position himself.

There was no air left in Ryan's lungs by the time Neil slid all the way down, tight, and warm, and perfect.

"Ryan," Neil breathed out. "God, that's so good."

It was.

Damn , it was so much better than good.

It took everything he got not to move, not to buck his hips and try to press even deeper. He was digging his fingers into Neil's thighs hard enough to hurt, but he couldn't do anything else.

He was hardly breathing as it was.

Finally, finally , Neil rolled his hips—slowly at first, then again, a little faster—and tossed his head back, giving Ryan the perfect view of his long neck.

"I hate to say it, but you might have been right."

Halfway out of his mind with how good this felt, Ryan couldn't think straight.

"Was I?" he breathed out, voice barely audible. "About what?"

Neil tightened around him, making Ryan swear and curl his toes, then rolled his hips once again.

"I really won't stand going slow."

Ryan closed his eyes. "Thank God."

They didn't so much as settle into a rhythm, but they chased it with a frantic abandon, faster and harder—hard enough that the slapping of their bodies coming together again and again echoed through the room while the words failed them completely.

The orgasm hit Ryan like a punch to the entire body, and he moaned loudly as the pleasure rolled through him, igniting every last piece of him and leaving him shaking.

Neil came a second later, falling forward onto Ryan as if he'd used every bit of energy he had and now there was nothing left.

They were both sweaty and shaking, an absolute mess, and yet, Ryan couldn't imagine anything better.

He didn't even try.