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From the very beginning, Jack had been desperate to please Thomas.

But setting his standards impossibly high led to him being easily discouraged.

Whatever he did, he should have done better.

His self-esteem was low. Misery sank its claws into him.

He didn’t want to get out of bed, didn’t want to train, didn’t want to learn, barely wanted to eat. Thomas was not sympathetic.

After a bruising fight with his martial arts instructor, Jack was aching and when he failed to score in four bouts of fencing, Thomas took him aside.

“You’re not trying.”

“I can’t win. Why bother? I’ll never be as good as them.”

“No, you won’t. That’s not the point of them teaching you to fight and fence.”

Jack looked up. “Then what is the point?”

“You learn, you improve. You keep getting to your feet and you don’t give up.

There will always be someone who can run faster, fight better, shoot more accurately, know more about the things you’re learning.

Those who teach you are experts in their field, but you can already play chess better than the man who teaches you to fence, you’ll be able to run faster than the man who teaches you to shoot, blend in better than the woman who shows you how to play cards. ”

Jack thought about it.

“Do you see now?” Thomas asked.

“They know a lot about their skill. I know about a lot of skills.”

Thomas nodded.

Once Jack understood he wasn’t expected to win everything, he worked harder, listened more carefully. Every time he lost or failed, he tried harder the next time. There was a lot to learn. But as Thomas reassured him, he had years to learn it.

Years of hard lessons.

When he climbed without ropes and fell, Thomas caught him.

“Clip on if you can. I won’t always be here.”

When he asked if he’d run far enough, or for long enough, Thomas shrugged. “How long or how far doesn’t matter. You run for however long you need to run.”

When he finally thoroughly defeated his fencing instructor, Thomas gave him a rare smile.

Jack was twelve years old when Thomas left him for longer than a few hours for the first time. Five days with no one checking on him. Thomas often went away but someone had always taken care of Jack, usually one of the trainers. This time, he was expected to look after himself.

He looked for cameras and found one in the kitchen. Jack grinned into it, then covered it. But he behaved. He stayed safe and did the work he’d been left to do. And when Thomas came back, battered and bruised, his shoulder gouged by a bullet, Jack was glad he was alive.

“What would you have done if I hadn’t come back?” Thomas asked.

“Moved the money to where you told me to. Called the number you gave me and waited.”

“Good boy.”

Jack hadn’t realised it wasn’t Alice’s birthday party until he gave her a bunch of flowers—Thomas’s suggestion—and she’d gasped, then looked guilty.

“Thank you, but it’s not my birthday. It’s my brother’s. Well, my stepbrother’s.”

She was already slightly drunk and wobbling, which was worrying.

“Where are your mum and dad?”

“Away until tomorrow!” She looked gleeful.

Jack wondered if they even knew there was a party going on in their house. He regretted the flowers now, but he hadn’t felt he could arrive empty handed and Thomas had refused to let him take alcohol.

Alice grabbed Jack’s hand, clamped her fingers tightly around his, and pulled him to the kitchen. “We made punch but help yourself to whatever you like.”

“Thanks.”

Jack chose a Corona. He had to prise himself free of Alice in order to open the bottle, then he kept both hands on it.

He didn’t particularly want the drink, but he did want something he’d opened himself.

Thomas had long since stressed the importance of that.

If in doubt, don’t drink anything. The kitchen was a mess.

The floor was crunchy with crisps and peanuts, and there were half-full and empty glasses on every surface, along with bottles and cans.

Alice dragged him back outside by his elbow.

Jack tried a couple of times to get free but she was like a limpet.

When he moved, so did she. Was he supposed to tell her he wasn’t interested?

If he was cool enough with her, would she get the hint without him saying anything?

Was there some etiquette he was supposed to follow?

Thomas’s admonishment to be kind still rang in his head.

She slid her arm around his waist. Shit.

“I’m really glad you’ve come,” she told him. “The flowers are lovely. No one’s ever bought me flowers before.”

Double shit. This wasn’t his idea of fun.

Jack was tempted to call Thomas and ask him to come and get him, but changed his mind when he caught sight of Zeph.

Except Zeph turned away when their gazes clashed.

Maybe this was his chance to find out why Zeph hadn’t spoken to him for the last week.

He just needed to disentangle himself from Alice.

He excused himself to go to the bathroom and Alice followed. Of course she did.

He lingered in there looking at childhood photos; two small girls by the sea, in a park, in Paris and— Oh, one of Zeph when he was a small boy, sitting on a donkey, a big smile on his face. Zeph was her stepbrother? He’d never seen Zeph talk to her or Georgia at school.

Alice was waiting outside the bathroom when he emerged. Oh God. He was going to be embarrassed to tell Thomas about this. Though it would probably make him laugh.

The cake was produced with some fanfare and he slid away while Alice was lighting the candles, only for Portia to move in. She tucked her arm into his. She had a boyfriend, so was she pissing off her boyfriend or Alice?

“Having fun?” Portia asked.

“Are you?”

She threw back her head and laughed. What was so funny? Then he spotted Alice coming back. Alice glanced from him to Portia and her mouth turned down. For fuck’s sake. I’m not playing childish games.

Portia put her mouth to his ear. “See you later.”

Not if he saw her first. Jack crossed his arms, still cradling his drink.

Alice stood by his side and Jack stared at Zeph, who looked as though he’d rather be doing anything other than blow out candles on a child’s birthday cake.

A strip of what looked like cheese had been placed next to the number 6 on the rocket.

They couldn’t even get him a decent cake?

Scott made some sarky remark about Zeph’s blowing skills, which made people laugh.

Jack didn’t miss the way Zeph’s jaw tightened, but he put a smile on his face. Good for him.

“I have to hand out cake,” Alice said to Jack. “I’ll be back in a minute.”

He was going home before she returned. The moment she was out of sight, he edged around the side of the house only to see Zeph in front of him. Instead of phoning Thomas, he followed Zeph.

After Zeph walked into the field, Jack hung back to see what he was going to do.

When he lay down on one of the bales, Jack hesitated.

Zeph clearly wanted to be on his own. He tapped in the come get me message to Thomas, then didn’t send it.

Thomas had told him when you weren’t certain what to do, then do nothing, but Jack didn’t agree.

Sometimes you went with your gut. What was the worst that could happen? Zeph told him to fuck off?

Jack walked over. “Happy Birthday.”

Zeph slid off the hay bale. Before he could stand up, Jack dropped down at his side. “Room for me to hide too?”

Zeph shuffled to a sitting position and leaned back. “Who are you hiding from?”

“Alice.”

“Ah.”

“I didn’t know how to tell her I wasn’t interested.”

“So you ran away and hid?”

“Yes. I thought it was worth a try. I’m pretty sure she didn’t put a tracking device on me.” He patted his legs.

Zeph laughed. “Only because she doesn’t have one. Yet.”

“I didn’t realise it was your party. I thought it was Alice’s birthday. I didn’t even know you were Alice’s brother—stepbrother. Or that Georgia was her sister.”

“Would you not have come if you’d known?”

“I have the feeling you wouldn’t have wanted me to.”

“I didn’t want a party. It was forced on me.”

“As was the presence of Scott and Rufus?”

“What the hell was Alice thinking? She knows I don’t like them. She tries too hard to make people like her. But why would I want them here?”

“Or me?”

Zeph turned to look at him. “Who said I didn’t like you?”

The air between them seemed to crackle.

“I’m glad you came.” Zeph gave him a shy smile.

Something lurched in Jack’s chest. “Sure about that? You didn’t look pleased to see me and for the last week and a half, you’ve gone out of your way to avoid me.”

“Not you. Scott and Rufus. Not you! Though…”

“Though what?”

“Nothing.” Zeph looked away.

“Tell me.”

“I was trying to save you. They’ll pick on you too if they think we’re friends.”

Jack was shocked that Zeph would try to protect him. “I can handle myself.”

“I don’t want them to hurt you. It doesn’t have to be something physical. They’re sneaky.”

“In what way?”

“They might put something in your bag that would get you into trouble—and then tell on you. Claim you racially abused Scott because he’s black. Wet all your clothes while you’re doing PE.”

“Is that what they did to you?”

“They’ve tried lots of things. I told a teacher they were bullying me and it made everything worse.

The latest ruse is claiming that last term I promised to sponsor them for some charity football thing and never paid them.

It’s not true. They might have put my name down on the form but I wouldn’t have signed it.

I suspect they’ve been made to pay the money themselves. ”

“So they’re dickheads.”

“Yep. The teachers know Scott and Rufus’s reputation but Rufus’s dad is a governor and on the local council. The school doesn’t want to piss him off. I don’t think the pair would go too far, but…”

“I’ll have your back.”