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Jack couldn’t let Zeph see him. He wasn’t supposed to be in the UK, let alone anywhere near Zeph but some things he couldn’t miss. He was in disguise, his dirty-blond hair dyed dark brown, sunglasses in place, wearing a sharp suit and a student gown. He blended in fine.

There were enough people that he was able to watch Zeph walking with the others from Downing College to the Senate House for the degree ceremony.

Zeph was limping slightly. Jack felt guilty he’d not been there to support him through his treatment.

He’d found out more than he should have done by illegally accessing Zeph’s medical records but he missed him, missed being with him, listening to him, hearing him laugh, making him laugh, touching him, being touched by him.

Knowing what Zeph was doing, how he was doing, wasn’t enough.

But it had to be enough. Any contact with him put Zeph in danger.

Thomas would be furious if he knew Jack was even thinking about Zeph anymore.

Sometimes, Zeph was all Jack could think about.

He’d made every one of Jack’s nerve endings come alive.

When Jack was young, he’d been shown little affection.

Thomas had looked after him, but had never hugged him or cuddled him.

Praise had been a pat on the back or the squeeze of a shoulder.

Jack had grown out of thinking he needed affection.

He’d never been bothered by his lack of attraction to anyone, female or male, and then he’d met Zeph.

Zeph had shown him what life could be like, what happiness was.

That time in France had opened his eyes to another world.

But now Jack wasn’t happy. Thomas, and because Jack was involved with him it involved Jack too, had been forced into contract work for the CIA, though on the plus side, the Americans had dealt with the Iranian issue.

Even so, Thomas had only agreed to work for the CIA to save Jack when a job had gone wrong, but part of Jack wished he’d let him die.

Where once he’d dreamed of another life, that dream had gone.

He watched until Zeph entered the Senate House, then went to the house where Zeph lived, broke in and left something in Zeph’s bed. An inflatable shark.

Jack wouldn’t stop swimming because that was the only way he could survive. Nor would he give up hope of a different future.