Page 10

Falling in the light of the evening sun

Nowhere to hide when the robots come

Asking for help, finding trouble

Stars in your eyes and your problems double

Having a friend for the first time ever

Life could be different

If I was braver

Zeph snuck straight upstairs without anyone seeing him, but as he walked past Alice’s room, even above the music, he heard her wailing. He hesitated, then knocked on her door.

“Alice?”

She cried louder.

Zeph knocked again.

“What!”

He slowly opened the door and peeped inside. Alice lay curled up the bed, sobbing, her makeup, of which there’d been too much, was smudged. She looked… scary.

“How could you?” she screamed.

“How could I what?”

“I like him. I like him!”

Zeph’s heart sank. What was he supposed to say? I like him too? No one knew he was gay, so why wasn’t he allowed to be friends with Jack?

“What have I done?” he asked. What do you think I’ve done?

“You disappeared with him. You stopped me dancing with him.”

Not true. Jack had found him. No one had been dancing when Zeph left. He didn’t really think Alice was crying because of him. He thought she was crying because she’d realised Jack wasn’t interested in going out with her, but it was easier to blame Zeph.

All he had to do was say Jack was his friend. At the moment, it was true. But Zeph had seen something in Jack’s face that hinted it was more than that, felt something in that press of their thighs that did the same.

Alice cried harder. Huge lurching sobs that made her entire body shudder.

“I didn’t disappear with him. Jack came looking for me because he hadn’t realised it was my birthday. He thought it was yours. We got talking about physics homework.”

“I wanted to dance with him. I asked him to come. He was my date.”

“He had to go home. That’s not my fault.”

“Go away!” she shouted.

He stepped closer. “Alice, I don’t think he’s interested in going out with anyone.”

She threw a pillow at him. It missed, but Zeph retreated. He worried about her. But what could he do? If he called Elisa, he could guess her response.

Zeph used the bathroom, cleaned his teeth and went to bed. The party was still in full swing downstairs. He picked up his phone and looked at Jack’s number. He wanted to store it in a way no one but him would understand and settled on 7850, the density of steel in kilograms per cubic meter.

He’d just put his phone down when it pinged with a message. Zeph’s pulse jumped when he saw it was from Jack.

Club run tomorrow at Wisby?

Yes. Time?

Nine. At bandstand.

Great. Night.

Jack didn’t reply.

He checked the morning buses. There was one at 8.

40 that would get him there in time. He curled up in bed.

The sound of the party had stopped annoying him.

Alice was still crying. Even that didn’t annoy him.

His head was full of Jack. He reran their conversation, replayed everything.

Even if Jack wasn’t interested in him in the way Zeph hoped, he could be a friend.

Zeph had spent so long afraid of saying the wrong thing, looking at someone the wrong way, afraid that Rufus and Scott would work out that he was gay… But for the first time, he kept his fears at bay and let desire take control. Jack was his friend. He might be more than a friend.

It felt as if a door had opened.

When Zeph woke at six, the house was silent.

He used the bathroom, padded downstairs and groaned at the mess.

The hall was littered with bottles and cans, and the kitchen looked as if someone had emptied rubbish from the bins over every part of it.

Zeph went back to the hall, grabbed his trainers from the shoe cupboard and put them on. Then he started to clear up.

It took two hours of hard work before he showered. He put on his running gear, slipped his water bottle into his mini backpack and left the house.

He reached the bandstand just before nine and found Jack stretching.

He stood with his back towards him, pulling his arm over his head and leaning to one side.

Zeph stood and admired his long, long legs, muscular arms and that strip of flesh above his shorts that kept revealing itself.

The shorts Zeph wore didn’t hide his fascination.

Jack turned and nodded at him. “Hi.”

“Morning.” Zeph dragged his backpack in front of him and moved to where Jack wouldn’t see the state of him before he did some stretches. “Did you see the group out there swimming? I’m not keen on the sea on a hot summer’s day let alone a cold September morning.”

“Cold-water swimming’s fun.”

Zeph shot him a horrified glance over his shoulder. “I can see that getting out would be fun. Not so much the getting in.”

“You should try it.”

“Hmm.”

“Ready?”

“Almost.” Thoughts of cold-water swimming had the desired effect and Zeph put on his backpack.

He worried Jack would run too fast but he managed to keep up.

“Do you ever run to music?” Zeph asked as they headed along the concrete promenade next to the sea. He had his earbuds in his backpack.

“Sometimes. Or I listen to a podcast. I rarely have anyone to talk to unless Thomas runs with me.”

“I listen to podcasts too.”

“What was the last one you listened to?”

“About Lord Byron.”

“Tell me one strange fact about him.”

“When he was a student at Cambridge, he was unhappy dogs weren’t allowed so he turned up with a tame bear instead.”

Jack snorted. “And a quote from him?”

“ The heart will break, but broken live on. Or for something less profound… Always laugh when you can, it is cheap medicine . What about you? What was the last podcast you listened to?”

“About the global arms trade.”

“I want to ask if there’s a global legs trade too but…eh.”

Jack chuckled. “You can probably guess who’s the largest exporter of arms but can you guess the next one?”

“America’s the largest?”

“Yes.”

“Er… Then China?”

“No, Germany, then France.”

“I’m surprised.”

“Any thoughts on who’s top of the illegal trade?”

“I have no clue.”

“Yemen, Afghanistan, Central African Republic.”

“Now off my list of places to visit, no matter how enticing their swimming pools.”

He heard Jack chuckle.

They passed a man walking a dog and Zeph said, “Hello, cutie!”

“Talking to the guy or the dog?”

Zeph almost fell over.

“Do you have any pets?” Jack asked.

“No. Georgia’s allergic to cats and my stepmother doesn’t like dogs. I’d love a dog but I’d have to leave it behind when I went to uni. Cambridge have wised up since Byron’s time. No animals allowed—well, maybe assistance dogs in some instances. What about you?”

“No pets.”

“Favourite food?”

“Peanut butter.”

“Mine’s toast and marmalade.”

They talked most of the way to where the walkway ended.

Zeph noticed he was more out of breath than Jack, but then he wasn’t surprised.

Jack was a machine. They sat on the edge of the curved concrete sea wall with their feet dangling over the beach and drank their water.

Zeph cleaned his glasses on his T-shirt. They were still smudged.

“Was the house a wreck after the party?” Jack asked.

“Nothing that couldn’t be put right. Well, not that I found. I cleaned up before I caught the bus. I hope my dad doesn’t look in the recycling bin.”

“Was Alice okay?”

“No one was up when I left, but…”

“What?”

“She was in a state last night. Crying. Said I’d disappeared with you and stopped you dancing with her.”

“Oh God.” Jack tipped his head back and looked at the sky.

“I said I didn’t think you wanted to go out with anyone. I hope that’s okay.”

“I’m out with you.” Jack nudged him.

Zeph was so tempted to lean in, but he couldn’t bear the disappointment of being rejected. Now he had a taste of how Alice felt.

He forced himself to laugh. “Well, I don’t think you’d have persuaded Alice to go for a run.

” Though, when he thought about it, he suspected she’d have said yes to anything Jack asked her to do.

Just as he’d have agreed to cold-water swimming.

Get your head out of the clouds. He and Jack were friends. That was all. It was enough.

“You might need to actually make it clear to her that you’re not interested.

She can get a bit…intense. It was a Korean popstar she mooned over last year.

Her walls were covered with posters of him.

She was talking about going to Korea and throwing herself in front of his car.

Not when it was going fast, obviously, but just so she was slightly injured. She thought true love would follow.”

Jack looked at him in horror.

“You’re all right. You can’t drive. Unless you’re seventeen. Are you?”

“Not yet. She really said that?”

Zeph nodded. “I tried to make her see sense. Not having the money to get there was the first issue.”

“If I need to, I’ll speak to her.”

“You’ll probably have to. Life’s never simple. My mum used to say that life was like some beaches. Mostly pebbles but with big rocks you have to climb over. So that’s what you do. Climb over and keep going.”

“A smart way of looking at it.” Jack pushed to his feet. “Bit faster on the way back?”

Shit. “Okay. Don’t let me hold you up.”

Zeph did his best to maintain a similar pace to Jack.

Even though his lungs and thighs were on fire, there was no way he’d stop running, but he did slow down.

When he was in sight of the bandstand, he dropped to a fast walk so he’d get there with his breathing normal rather than sounding as if he was going have a heart attack.

There was a guy with dark grey hair and sharp features sitting on a seat in front of the bandstand and Jack was stretching next to him. Zeph joined them.

“This is my Uncle Thomas,” Jack said.

Zeph wiped his hands on his shorts before he offered one. “I’m pleased to meet you.”

Thomas gave his hand a firm shake. “Good run?”

“I decided to let Jack win this time. Probably do that every time if I’m honest.”

Jack laughed. Zeph pulled his bottle from his backpack and finished his water before he stretched.