Page 6 of Enough Isn’t Everything (Everything Trilogy #1)

Chapter Four

FIFTY FIFTY

Alfie gave me a lopsided half smile again, flashing his dimple at me, it was too cute, really. He leaned in toward me, hooked his finger on the V of my T-shirt and tugged me closer to him.

My mouth went dry, and my gaze fell on his lips. He looked so sexually charged. He smelled slightly musky, masculine but clean, with a faint hint of the scent of a shower gel I couldn’t place.

When I made eye contact, his hazel eyes were flecked green and sparkled as he gazed intensely back at me.

His head dipped as his face drew near to mine.

His lips stopped only inches from my face.

Wrapping his other hand loosely around my throat, he ran it up toward my jawline, and around to the nape of my neck. Wow!

His touch sent a charge of electricity along the line his hand travelled. The electrical current trailed his touch and made my panties soaked. His other hand slid up to cup my chin.

I noticed his eyes drop to my lips, and he dragged his thumb lightly across them. He licked his lips and closed the space between us, pressing his lips lightly onto mine.

The kiss was featherlight, but the act was like a defibrillator jolting high-voltage electricity into my body at the same time. The pleasure I felt was so arousing, like no other kiss had ever affected me before.

That wet, hot tongue of his teased and traced my lips, then it parted them as it breached into my mouth. The hot, wet taste of him made me moan. He chuckled softly into my mouth, and it was sexy as hell.

It was only a kiss, yet I was so slick between my thighs, my folds swollen and aching. The only places he touched me were above my shoulders. He was kissing me slowly, and I’d never felt anything like it before.

His hand moved up from my neck and sifted through my long hair. His palm wound around it as he gently tugged it then applied pressure to the back of my head, deepening the kiss. He growled, and it made the whole act so erotic.

There was so much chemistry running through my body. I moaned loudly, and almost went over the edge with the sensation of his mouth on mine. Suddenly he growled again and dragged his lips away from me. “Holy shit! I love how you moan when I kiss you,” he muttered, breathing heavily.

Breathlessly, I stared blankly as my body felt bereaved at the loss of his touch. Then I realized that it was the first time in my life I’d ever really been kissed. I stood panting, breathless. Nothing else before that kiss ever compared to what I had just experienced with him.

Dragging his lips away from my mouth and down my neck, his head rose to hold my gaze. He nodded at me breathlessly, his eyes wide. “Uh huh!” he said gruffly, cleared his throat, and touched his lips with his calloused fingertips.

He looked dazed. After a few seconds with his voice still low and husky, he muttered, “Fuck!” His eyes widened further, and a smile slowly stretched over his face.

“Damn it. I’ve never felt like that before.

” He shook his head, and smirked. “Way more than I even suspected. You felt it too, right?” Wagging his finger between us, he said, “This kind of connection doesn’t happen every day.

I just knew it. Oh, well, shit, I’m even more intrigued by you now. ” He grinned again.

I lowered my head again because I was sure he would see the lust in my eyes. “Well Alfie, casual sex isn’t something I’m comfortable doing, but I’ll give it some thought.”

Dipping his knees, he crouched down to bring his eyes level with mine.

When he locked his gaze, he smirked wickedly.

“Uh huh… you too? Huh? Damn, I have the biggest boner now, look.” He thrust his groin forward and pointed at the straining bulge in his jeans.

He was still smirking. “How can you say no to me now?”

I blushed crimson, shocked at his reaction, but worse still, I was really turned on by him.

The look on his face was… downright dirty.

My panties were drenched. I couldn’t believe his blatant approach toward me.

I tried to avoid too much eye contact with him for fear he’d see what I was thinking.

Calm down, Lily! I smiled slowly, trying to appear unaffected.

“Well Alfie, it’s not something I’m accustomed to doing, but like I said, I’ll certainly give it some thought. ”

I tried to say it as if I could take it or leave it, that this kind of thing happened every day, but when I said this, I sounded breathless, and my voice gave away some of my emotions. When I thought I’d pulled it off, my body let me down again, and I started to blush.

His wide smile flashed his dimple again, and he thrust his palm out to me. “Give me your cell.” I reached into my purse and handed it to him. I watched as he punched his number in.

He labelled his contact’s name in my cellphone as ‘SEXPERT’ before his rang, and I realized he’d rung his phone from mine. “Okay, now I have yours too.” He winked and handed my cell back to me. I laughed at his corny moniker when he gave it back to me.

“Want to think about it?” He gave me a hopeful look. I took his cell and labelled my contact’s name as ‘Pink Lady’ and boldly handed it back to him. He read it and scrunched his brows at me looking puzzled. “Pink Lady?”

I cringed because I’d had the nerve to do such a thing. “Well, if you’re touting for a ‘fuck buddy’, then she should have a name that implies it.” Alfie’s eyes widened immediately at my reference to the slang reference of the sensitive flesh inside the entrance of a woman’s vagina as ‘pink’.

“Well, my beautiful Lily, if you want to pursue my proposal, I just want to say one more thing. There are no guarantees in this life. I can’t say you won’t get hurt.

Primal sex is a need in all of us. I can’t offer commitment, but I will respect you as a person and give you honesty and consideration. ”

He went on, “If you decide to have other partners, I will respect your right to form emotional bonds. I don’t want to own you, honey, you would be free to break the arrangement at any time, as would I.”

My immediate retort to the arrogance of him, implying that I would fall for him was to say, “And likewise. I wouldn’t be able to guarantee that you wouldn’t get hurt either.” A fleeting look of consideration passed through his eyes and was gone in an instant.

“No worries there,” he muttered deadpan.

I dipped down to the grass and picked up my guitar case, slung it over my shoulder and tugged at the strap.

“Lily?”

I wondered if he was being arrogant and expected me to agree immediately, but I looked at him as if I didn’t have a care in the world, and kept my voice as even as possible. “I need to head out now, Alfie. I have plans for tonight, but I’ll consider your interesting offer and get back to you.”

He sat back down on the grass, and laid back casually, one leg bent at the knee.

He faced me, perched up on one elbow. “Take your time. I know I can be full on, but I believe in shooting from the hip. I’m straight and uncomplicated.”

I walked away trying not to look back, even though I wanted to more than anything.

I was excited by his attention, but I didn’t really believe that I could consider the prospect of doing something that reckless.

I heard him chuckle to himself, so I turned my head and called over my shoulder, “I’m not fazed by your offer, Alfie. ”

My sexual needs were raw and I wanted to explore them. I held up my open hand and gave a small wave to him behind me. Even though he didn’t say it very loudly, Alfie commented in a normal speaking voice. “I hope you get the guts to call me, Lily. We’d be great together.”

It was a daunting thought. Was I mature enough to do something like that? I was already intrigued by Alfie, even at the risk of being burned by him.

The thought frightened the crap out of me and I knew I needed to talk to Saffy and Holly about his proposition. I wondered if they would think it was funny.

I didn’t feel it was something that I wanted to keep secret from them. But I knew that if it was something that I was contemplating, I didn’t want them to know exactly who the guy was.

What Alfie wanted from me was on equal terms—a no strings, no emotions, physical connection for sexual gratification. It seemed sordid and belied my beliefs, but in terms of where my life was at, I felt it might just keep things straight for me.

I thought I could explore my sexuality without any emotional involvement, and I felt it would mean I’d be free to concentrate on music and decide when to spend time with him, if it suited us both.

I headed up to the apartment, still contemplating my strange induction to campus and Alfie’s proposition. I struggled to contain the feelings of excitement and shame that I was considering doing what he suggested. Alfie aroused me in ways I’d never experienced before with just a kiss.

When I got home I was ravenous, and realized I’d missed lunch, spending my time with Alfie instead.

I’d forgotten to eat, hell, I’d forgotten to breathe at some points.

What he was able to do to me with one kiss was mind-blowing.

I found myself weighing out the advantages and disadvantages of his offer.

I was in a new place where no one knew me, so there was no reputation to tarnish. It would be ridiculous not to find out what else he had to offer, though it was equally ridiculous that I was talking myself into his insane proposition. But the more I thought about it, the more enticing it became.

Saffy was sitting on the balcony when I entered the apartment. She was nursing a strong black coffee in her hands, her legs drawn up at the knees. “Hey, Saffy!” I went over and hugged her.

She put her hand up, stopping me and whispered, “Shush, I’m delicate this afternoon. I’m never doing shots again!” She groaned.

Her voice was croaky. She told me that she and Holly had gone to a bar and gotten into a ‘shots’ competition with a couple of tourists there.