Page 16 of Enough Isn’t Everything (Everything Trilogy #1)

Chapter Ten

I’M STALKING YOU

Singing my heart out, I was pleased that no one had a clue how much of a challenge it usually was for me to sing spontaneously. I was lost in the music, feeling a freedom here that I struggled with back home.

No one knew me here, or what my hang-ups were. I was practicing my new approach to life. Determined to be what I wanted to be, which included being comfortable singing.

When their set finished, Mandy came over, and I jumped up hugging her. “Mandy, wow! I want to be just like you when I grow up!” Mandy giggled. She looked amused by my comment and slightly embarrassed at the attention.

“You and I are going to be great friends,” she said hugging me again. I hugged Neil and congratulated him, then excused myself to go to the restroom before the next set started.

As I made my way back from the bathroom, I was looking around, taking in the venue, when I froze. Alfie was sitting near the back of the bar at a raised table area. He was with a beautiful, expensively dressed woman. She looked very sophisticated and maybe ten years older than him.

From his body language I could see he obviously liked her a lot. I felt sick watching the level of attention he was paying her, given what he’d done with me this morning.

Staring silently, I watched as he ran the back of his hand down her cheek, smiling at her. It made for quite an intimate scene. Shit! I pretended not to have noticed him.

The lady seemed to be doing all the talking and he sat, smiling, and began flipping a white napkin over and over absentmindedly while he listened intently to what she was saying.

Forcing myself to go forward, I began to walk back toward our table, glancing back at him from a distance. I could see that although he was still dressed casually, his appearance was much more polished than I’d seen before.

Alfie was wearing a crisp, white button-down shirt, his ink hidden by the long sleeves, and a red suit vest. He looked effortlessly handsome and very sexy.

I wished he would stand, so that I could assess the complete effect of his attire on him. I was more than curious as to who the woman was. More than that, if he was with her, why he had made a play for me, when he obviously has no shortage of female company?

As I turned away, Alfie leaned forward to talk in her ear. His female companion threw her head back, smiled, and clasped her hand over his.

Devastated and hurt, I also felt very ashamed that I hadn’t thought of any other dynamics around our relationship. And I wondered how many others he might have the same arrangement with. My face must have been registering how I was feeling, because Saffy picked up on my mood immediately.

“What’s the matter?” I shook my head.

“Nothing, why?” I asked, hoping I sounded convincing.

“You look hurt. What’s wrong, Lily?”

Laughing, I was hoping I’d pulled it off. “No, I’m not hurt, you’re crazy.” My voice came across as quite carefree. “I’m just a little tired.” Saffy’s furrowed brows told me she wasn’t convinced, her eyes searched mine until she was satisfied, and I saw her face relax.

“I’m not tired at all, I have loads of pent up energy.” She pushed herself back in her seat and stared at Will again. “In fact, I feel as if I could go on all night.” Saffy’s last comment wasn’t lost on him. He smiled, bit his bottom lip and widened his eyes at her.

Looking between them, I giggled when she pretended to look embarrassed at this. Will and I both knew that Saffy’s comment wasn’t a Freudian slip.

She knew exactly what she had said and what she was doing. By the time the gig finished, Saffy was draped all over Will, his focus completely on her, and it was clear that I was going home alone.

Everyone had packed up and begun to leave, so I made my way outside to my car after saying my goodbyes. Stepping into the warm air Alfie was right in front of me with the same woman he’d been with in the bar.

His car was parked about ten feet from the door. They were standing talking, Alfie with his back against his red Mustang. He’d already seen me step out, so I had no choice but to walk past him to get to my car.

Ignoring Alfie was easy because he didn’t acknowledge me. The woman with him looked even more attractive close-up, and although she was older than him, I could see why Alfie would be drawn to someone like her.

I watched as he played the perfect gentleman for her. Settling her in his car first, he quietly closed the passenger door behind him. He walked around the hood. His eyes looked up briefly and darted in my direction, then he slipped himself into the driver’s side.

Dirty and disgusted with myself, was how his little show had left me. Another bout of shame hit me, that I’d stooped so low as to sleep with him. Seeing how he was there in front of me, with her, I felt I really did need to revise my thoughts about him.

Especially with the negative feelings he was evoking in me. I was invisible when I walked past him, and I felt less than nothing to him.

During the drive back, I was ashamed of how far my moral compass had fallen in such a short amount of time. What the hell is wrong with me? I had guarded my V card vigorously until a week ago. Since then, I’d slept with not one but two guys.

Worse than that, I wasn’t in a relationship with either of them, plus I’d had sex with someone I’d only just met. I knew nothing about him at all, yet I’d put myself at risk like that. Even more shockingly, I was thrilled with the whole dangerous situation.

Alfie drove off first, and I sat in my car for a few minutes collecting my thoughts. I pushed the key into the ignition and fired up the engine.

Driving home gave me the creeps because I was the only person on the road. After a few miles I saw another car up ahead at the intersection. It made me feel less edgy to know someone else was still on the road.

However, I changed my mind as I drove past the intersection and recognized the familiar model was actually Alfie’s car. The sight of him made me furious. I must have seemed so na?ve to him when he singled me out at the college.

The way he did that, and how he’d behaved since this morning, had made him seem predatory. Especially when I realized that there was someone else in his life.

Alfie pulled out behind me and at first I thought he was just going the same way, until I turned into my condo building car lot, and I realized he’d followed me home. My blood boiled at how furious he’d made me feel.

As soon as he got out of his car, his stride was aggressive in his approach toward me. “Are you following me, Lily?” His face was twisted in anger, and he spoke to me through gritted teeth.

My jaw dropped at his audacity, so I pointed at him animatedly, completely pissed at his attitude and tone toward me.

“Don’t flatter yourself. Who do you think you are, talking to me like this?

You were behind me, remember?” I couldn’t hide my rage as it laced my voice.

“Technically, you were following me.” I stared, puzzled, and I was sure my anger was apparent by this point.

“What do you want?” I sounded worn out.

Strutting around me, he stopped and grabbed my arm, handling me a little roughly.

Alfie’s brows were furrowed in a frown. “I thought you were cool with how this works.” I pulled my arm away in a violent movement and exhaled slowly, my hands went out in front of me pushing my hands palms down to calm him.

“Okay, you’ve lost me. I’m not sure what you’re talking about, but you’re scaring me.”

He pushed his hair back. “You followed me tonight, didn’t you?”

Sneering, I laughed at him. My temper was getting right up there now at his cheek. Did he really think I’d follow him? “I did? I followed you to my friends’ gig you mean?” I snickered. “Damn, you’re an asshole, Alfie. You’re so self-absorbed.”

I ranted on, “What time did you get there? Are you sure you didn’t follow me? Oh, no. Wait… you wouldn’t have done that with a woman in tow, would you?” He looked sheepishly at me, his head briefly dropped, but he tilted it to make eye contact with me again.

“You were really there by chance?” he asks quietly.

Lustful eyes raked me over, his anger diminishing and being replaced with desire as he took in my appearance. The hint of a smirk reappeared. Immediately, I mentally kicked myself for wearing my boots with the fuck-me heels and my tight jeans with my favorite off-the-shoulder top.

I had known it was a sexy outfit when I wore it, but I didn’t want to tease him with what I was wearing, especially when he was checking me out. I wondered if he thought I was stupid or just weak.

“Lily, what the fuck are you doing to me? I can’t think straight around you. Do you realize how turned on I am right now? You’re so sexy when you’re mad.” I couldn’t believe his complete shift of mood or his confidence.

“You’re a shit, you know that?” I had to do something to put this Neanderthal in his place. “You’re a good lay, but you’re not that good.” He seemed to wince at my lie. “Did she blow you off, Alfie… your date? Is that why you’re really here? Am I a booty call?”

I began to pace. “What? She wouldn’t put out like I did? Goodnight, Alfie.” I turned away from him and strode inside my building pushing the button for the elevator before folding my arms and willing it to hurry up. He followed me to the elevator before it arrived.

“Leave me alone, Alfie.” Come on elevator.

When the car arrived, the doors opened, and he pulled me inside. I stared him down and pushed the button for my floor, leaning against the wall of the elevator. His hands landed on either side of my head as he turned, pinning me against the wall.

“What you saw was a business meeting,” he started, staring straight at me. I laughed.

“In a bar with live music, and all that touchy-feely stuff going on between you, Alfie? More like the ‘kinky business’ you kept going on about earlier.” He bent his elbows bringing his face nearer, so that his lips were just a fraction from mine.

He stared into my eyes, and I could feel his hot breath on my skin. The smell of his scent and his nearness made me feel like I couldn’t breathe. His stare was intimidating until his hair fell in front of his eyes, breaking the connection. He moved a hand to smooth it back.

When he did, I could see him trying to control his feelings. His frustration was beating right there, in his temple vein that was visibly pulsating.

Crossing my arms, I stepped to the side of him. “So… you owe me an explanation, for the crazy stalking and the bipolar behavior.” I waved my hand in his direction, and he stood there silently until I spoke again.“I thought as much, you’re full of shit, Alfie. Go home.”

The elevator doorbell dinged its arrival on my floor, and I pushed myself off the wall making for the door. Alfie grabbed ahold of my wrist, pulling me back into him. No one had ever handled me that way before. “We’re not done yet.” His jaw tightened and twitched again.

“The hell we’re not,” I retorted, my voice louder as I tried to pull away from him. His grip tightened, and he swung me around, looking intently at me.

“Jesus, girl. Stop. Take a breath.”

I was speechless. “M… me? You…”

His face relaxed and there was a hint of a smile on his lips again.

I took advantage of his momentary lapse and used my free hand to swipe his from my wrist. I placed both my hands on his chest and shoved him out of my way, walking quickly to my door. He began to apologize. “Aw, come on, honey…” I turned on my heels to face him.

“I am not your honey. Go home, we’re done for today.” I opened my door and banged it shut with him on the other side.

Alfie knocked softly on the door. “Don’t do this, Lily.” His voice was soft through the door. The guy was infuriating. He’d started all of this with his paranoia.

“I said go home. I’m not going to change my mind.

If you don’t leave, I’m going to call security to remove you.

” He didn’t knock again, but I could hear him sigh and what I imagined was his head knocking softly against the door, then nothing.

I heard the elevator arrive, and when I looked out of the peephole, he was gone.

Holding my wrist in my hand where he’d gripped me, I noted his touch, even in anger, sent those familiar goose bumps coursing over my skin. My heart was still pounding rapidly in my chest.

Holly was working tonight, and I knew that Saffy wouldn’t be home any time soon. Tears pricked my eyes and one escaped, streaking down my cheek. I sniffed and blinked, trying not to let the night end with me sobbing into my pillow.

What happened between Alfie and I made me feel desperately homesick, and I was about to ring Jack, until I remembered it was only 4 a.m. in the UK.

I turned on my laptop and wrote a long, rambling email to him and copied it to Elle.

I had just finished pouring my heart out to them when my cell beeped with a text alert.

SEXPERT: *Sad emoji*

I didn’t reply. Alfie had made me so confused about myself. I had loved spending time with him last night and this morning but I hated what happened afterward. He’d made me feel cheap and worthless.

Maybe I already saw things a lot differently from him, because all the fucked up stuff that’s followed since made me wish I’d never met him. I pushed myself off the couch and went to my room.

Standing in the dark with just the glow of my laptop for light, I began to get ready for bed. I tugged at the hem of my top and pulled it off, the static electricity crackling loudly, making small bursts of light in the semi darkness.

Feeling sweltering hot, I thought living in Miami made everyone get clean, whether they wanted to or not.

The shower was a godsend. I don’t think I’d managed more than about seven hours without one since I’d arrived.

As I stepped under the shower my cell beeped again, so I quickly showered and rinsed off.

Grabbing a towel, I sat on the bed to read the text.