Page 7

JESSE

Look at me, baby. Open your eyes so we can finally talk , he silently begged, but Violet’s eyes remained closed.

He wanted to sweep her up in his arms and shout for joy, but the fact that she’d gone back to feigning sleep didn’t bode well. He sensed her distress but couldn’t make sense of it. They didn’t have to hide this anymore!

Over the past weeks, there had been times when he swore he saw her eyelids flutter or random body movements that led him to believe she was awake. He’d been pushing it lately, willing to risk it all to discover whether he was losing his mind.

Tonight, when he came into her room and tried to catch her scent, he detected something that shouldn’t have been, something that reminded him of what he’d found smeared on several of her used underwear. Arousal. It sent his body into overdrive. He’d noticed the odd bunching of the covers over her crotch, but thought nothing of it, until it shifted. It took him only a second to figure out what she’d been doing before he entered. When her hand began to move in telltale circles, his heart stopped.

It had been a calculated risk to say her name. He said it loudly enough to rouse her if she’d been asleep, but when her eyes flew open, they were alert and glazed with lust. And then she started to climax. He hadn’t been able to resist her open mouth. It was the most satisfying orgasm he’d ever had.

Please, baby. I’m dying here , he thought. He reached out to touch her but stopped when he noticed she was trembling. The urge to comfort her was overwhelming, but his need to put her at ease was stronger. Reluctantly, he retreated.

He walked through the bathroom to his bedroom and leaned against the door. His initial blast of elation had morphed into disquiet, but he wouldn’t let that get him down. He would give her the space she needed this evening and talk it out tomorrow. He worried that she may always see him as a brother but tonight proved otherwise. She declared her feelings in the best way possible—by masturbating right alongside him.

He wanted to roar in triumph. He wanted to hold her on his lap and confess how much he loved her. How much he had been holding back. Nine months he’d kept all of this bottled up inside of him. He worried constantly that she or someone else would deduce how he felt about her, but that was at an end. God had mercy on him and made her want him in return. He no longer needed to date other girls in a futile attempt to dilute his obsession or use religion as an excuse for why he didn’t go all the way with them.

He flopped on his bed and folded his hands behind his head and replayed her orgasm—eyes rolling, legs jerking beneath the covers in involuntary response, and her beautiful face covered in him. His heart swelled, felt like it was about to burst. Violet wanted him. He wasn’t sure what their next step was, but it didn’t matter because they were finally on the same page.

His hand flexed on the steering wheel. He wasn’t sure what to expect from Violet this morning, but the bright smile and upbeat, inane chatter wasn’t it. From the moment she bounded out of her bedroom and for most of the ride to school, she talked about a range of topics—everything but the one thing he wanted to discuss. He couldn’t get anything in edgewise. He decided to let her take the lead, but he had no idea where she was going with this.

“You have games on Tuesday and Friday, right?” she asked distractedly as she typed on her phone.

“Yeah.”

“All righty.”

He waited a second before he asked, “You’re coming, right?”

“I’m not sure. My friends asked me to do something Friday night.”

On cue, her phone chimed.

“Who’s texting you?”

“Georgia and Allison and…”

Another chime sounded.

“And?” he prompted as he turned into the school parking lot.

“Huh?” Violet looked around and waved when she spotted her friends. “There they are!”

He parked and tried to tamp down the flurry of emotions in his chest as she prepared to leave. “Violet.”

“Yeah?”

“Hang on a minute.”

Her body visibly stiffened. The unease he dismissed last night came back full force. He assumed they could finally talk openly, but Vi clearly wasn’t ready.

“Look at me.”

She made eye contact with him several times this morning, her eyes filled with rabid good cheer. Not now, though. They were more green than hazel, a sure sign that her temper was on the rise.

“What, Jesse?” she asked impatiently as her cheeks bloomed with color.

He wished he could touch her, but in the mood she was in, he had no idea how that would be received. She was skittish and on edge and couldn’t make it plainer that she wanted to get away from him. What the hell was happening?

“Is everything okay?”

His voice was gruff with panic. He had the crazy urge to keep her in the car and drive to some secluded place where they wouldn’t be interrupted so they could sort this out.

“I’m fine. I’ll see you later,” she said and slid out of the vehicle.

He didn’t move as she hurried over to her friends. He sat there for a full minute, his mind racing. She’d been with him every step of the way last night, so what was the issue? Had she just become aware of his feelings and her own? Did she need more time to wrap her mind around this? He wished she would tell him, so he wasn’t left feeling like everything he wanted was slipping through his fingers before he had a chance to grab hold of it.

Her feelings had changed somewhere along the way, she just didn’t want to admit it. For weeks now, he’d sensed a subtle change in her gaze. She thought he wouldn’t notice, but he was so aware of her, he felt the weight of her intrigued consideration during his games, on their commute to school, and when they watched TV. He thought he might have imagined it, but after last night, he was certain. To help her along, he stripped in front of her whenever possible, like yesterday after pinning her on the couch. Was she worried about what people would say? Their parents? He didn’t care what they faced if he had her, but Violet didn’t feel the same. So, where did that leave them?

He hissed through his teeth as he stepped out of the SUV and resisted the urge to slam the door. He wouldn’t push it for now. Pressuring her would only cancel the progress he’d made. He’d lasted this long. He could wait a little longer, especially with last night’s victory under his belt.

Good things come to those who wait , he reminded himself.

“So, this is where you’re hiding.”

He turned to see Brody enter the gym.

“Hiding?” he echoed before he turned back to the hoop and took his shot.

Brody let out a disgusted sound as he made his way across the court. “Are you practicing for the NBA?”

“You know I’m going into the military.”

“I was hoping you changed your mind,” Brody muttered.

“I haven’t.”

He retrieved the ball and dribbled back to his spot to make another three-pointer. Brody placed himself beneath the hoop and passed him the ball. Several minutes passed before he noticed the odd look Brody was giving him.

“What?”

“You’re taking this well.”

He frowned. “Taking what well?”

Brody did a hook shot before passing the ball to him once more. “Violet.”

He tensed. “What about her?”

He texted her to see if she wanted to go off campus for lunch. He hoped if she wasn’t ready to talk, she’d still want to spend time together. She hadn’t responded, which put him in a foul mood. He had no idea where he stood with her, and it was driving him crazy. He’d taken refuge in the gym during lunch to clear his head.

“I thought it was a rumor, so I didn’t bother asking you about it, but I saw them with my own eyes.” Brody shook his head. “Out of all the guys she could pick, she chose him ? That loner who hides in the library?”

He tucked the basketball under his arm. “Tobias?”

Brody made a face. “Is that his name? He can’t even make eye contact with anyone, and your sister looks at him and thinks, ‘Hey, this guy should be my first boyfriend?’”

His heart slammed against his ribs. “Who says Violet’s dating him?”

Brody stared at him. “I saw them.”

He took a threatening step toward his friend. “Saw them what ?”

Brody held up his hands. “Chill, bro.”

“Tell me what you saw!”

“They were holding hands in the cafeteria.” Brody searched his face. “I thought you knew.”

He threw the ball at his friend before he snatched his backpack and stalked out of the gym. She wouldn’t do this to him , he thought as pain and fury seared his chest. The bell rang, flooding the hallways with students. He went against the crowd to reach the cafeteria, but by the time he got there, it was empty. He broke into a run to get to Violet’s next class. Several people called out to him and a teacher told him to slow down, but for once in his life, he ignored everyone. Brody had to be mistaken. There had to be another explanation for Violet holding Tobias’ hand. Like, the kid had suddenly gone blind, and she was leading him around because no one else would, or something. She wouldn’t date. Not now and not him .

He turned the corner as the second bell rang and stopped in his tracks. Tobias and Violet stood outside of her class. Violet was smiling at Tobias like… Like she should be smiling at him. Tobias grasped Violet’s hand and pecked it before he scuttled down the hallway. Violet had a bemused look on her face before it morphed into a delighted giggle.

As if she sensed his presence, she looked down the hall to where he stood. Her eyes widened and her amusement vanished. He started toward her to get some answers, but she took a step back and raised her hand in a stopping motion before she disappeared inside her class.

What the fuck?

The third and final bell rang. Teachers came out to close their doors. One of them noticed him standing there and frowned.

“Mr. Sampson? Is something wrong?”

“No,” he said and pivoted on his heel.

His temper, something that hadn’t been provoked since last summer, threatened to break free. Why would she suddenly decide to date after what happened last night? And why choose a creep like Tobias? The guy spent his days in the library or in empty classrooms, scribbling in a notebook and talking to himself. He told Tobias to steer clear of Violet, but apparently Tobias hadn’t taken him seriously. Or, had Violet sought him out? The thought incensed him so much that he smashed his fist into the building, bruising his knuckles, but he didn’t notice.

He was in no mood to sit in class. He walked toward the parking lot, nodding to the security guards who knew him by name. His reputation as a good student and athlete allowed him to walk off property without being asked if he had permission.

It took extreme discipline not to give into his demons as he navigated out of the parking lot and rode gently over the speed bumps. It wasn’t until he was on a deserted country road that he slammed on the accelerator and let the engine release a roar that he silently echoed. He drove to a park. The sound of his phone chiming made him dig through the zippers to find it.

Madyson: I couldn’t find you at lunch. I have a surprise for you.

Madyson: Do you want to go to a concert in San Antonio this weekend?

He tossed his phone on the seat, slammed the door, and paused. He’d been dating Madyson for a couple of weeks. He planned to break it off with her, but there’d been no need to rush. Is that why Violet decided to date? Because he was? Did she think last night meant nothing to him?

He scowled as he headed for the trail. Running always cleared his head and right now, he needed all the help he could get with his emotions clamoring. He should have pushed the issue this morning during their ride to school. He should have just laid it out and found out what was going on in her head instead of being blindsided like this.

To expel the black rage threatening to consume him, he ran full out. Was it a coincidence that Tobias asked her out today, or was this something Violet had orchestrated? His chest burned, and it wasn’t from his pace. Tobias didn’t have the balls to ask her out, which meant Violet had done this deliberately. Why? To punish him for dating other girls? But that look Violet gave him in the hallway wasn’t smug or defiant. She’d been alarmed to see him and ran from him for the second time today instead of talking to him. That fucking burned him.

He slowed and continued along the trail at a jog instead of the breakneck sprint he’d started with. The run had taken the edge off his anger, though it still heated his brain. But he was thinking a little more rationally.

So, she was hellbent on ignoring what happened between them and decided to date Tobias. If Violet wanted to date, he didn’t have the right to protest or be upset when he’d dated… and done other things while pining for her.

How would Isaac react to Violet’s sudden decision to date? He secretly wanted Isaac to forbid it, but that was hypocritical and selfish on his part and when they came out to their parents in the future, that would apply to him as well.

He grimaced. Why the anti-social poet, though? What did she see in him? Abruptly, his bad mood lightened a bit. Better Tobias than one of his friends. Tobias had no game. He was awkward and weird, and it wouldn’t last. Violet was just testing the waters. She wasn’t truly attracted to Tobias. He was a filler, just like his girlfriends had been. But he used other girls to temper his fixation on Violet while she was deliberately bringing other guys between them. Why? Because she didn’t trust what was between them? Was she too self-conscious of what others would say?

He gritted his teeth at the realization that his suffering wasn’t at an end, but another beginning. Violet wasn’t as deeply enmeshed as he was. If she was, she wouldn’t care what others would say or think. She wouldn’t care about the consequences. But she did. He still had a long way to go to convince her they were meant to be together.

He slicked back his sweaty hair as he made his way back to the parking lot. Her stunt still grated, but throwing a fit over her dating or forcing her to acknowledge their sexual attraction to each other would only make her dig her heels in and reinforce whatever reservations made her do this in the first place. He had to stand back and let her explore and experiment. Violet was a good girl. She wouldn’t go too far. She wanted the freedom to choose. He could understand that, even if he didn’t like it. If part of this was revenge for the girls he dated, he would let her have it.

He was confident it wouldn’t take her long to realize that their connection was special. No one suited her like he did. He knew her better than she knew herself. He adored everything about her and would do anything for her, even let her date other guys, though it would drive him crazy to see anyone touch what was his. She would come to him when she was ready. And once he claimed her, that would be it for both of them.