Page 18

VIOLET

1 MONTH LATER

“How was work, honey?” Mom asked as she set a pile of steaming bread rolls in the middle of the table.

“Funny you should ask,” Dad drawled with a lopsided grin as he reached for one and broke it in half. “It was an eventful day.”

Mom held up a hand. “You didn’t deal with any dead bodies, did you?”

“Not today,” Dad said as he bit into his roll.

Mom relaxed. “Okay. So, what happened?”

“The first call we got was from a woman who got her toe stuck in a faucet.”

Violet came out of her reverie and frowned at her father. “What kind of faucet?”

“A tub faucet.”

Violet’s brows bunched together. “Why would she do that?”

“I stopped asking questions like that my first year on the job,” Dad said as he forked up chicken and green beans.

“You didn’t have to amputate anything, did you?” Mom asked.

“Ew, Mom!” Violet waved her hand to dissipate the images in her mind.

“No amputation necessary. Just some lubricant.” Dad snickered. “She seemed thrilled to have an audience and carried on drinking her wine and eating chocolates long after the bubbles were gone.” Dad bobbed his eyebrows at Mom, who gasped and smacked his arm. “I covered her in a bath towel, which she kept trying to take off while asking if any of us were single. She was entertaining, to say the least.”

“Was she?” Mom said testily.

Violet’s lips quirked. Automatically, her gaze flicked to Jesse to see his reaction to their parents’ playful bickering. Her amusement faded. Jesse stared pensively down at his food, oblivious to their conversation. She noticed he’d been preoccupied lately. She could hear him pacing in his room in the wee hours of the morning. He’d also been coming home late from school, even when he didn’t have practice.

Whatever was bothering him hadn’t affected his sex drive, however. He was more ravenous than ever. Ever since they had sex at church, it was like he wanted to get caught. He was becoming alarmingly brazen. She didn’t know who he was anymore. When he looked at her, she didn’t see her brother at all, but a stranger.

At lunch today, Brody nudged her and jerked his chin across the cafeteria, where Jesse sat with an odd mix of people.

“What’s going on there?” Brody asked.

“No idea,” she’d said, but her gaze was on the stunning redhead who had her hand on Jesse’s arm.

Georgia had pressed against her back to whisper excitedly, “Ooh. Are they dating?”

She’d turned away with a shrug while Brody said, “Jesse and Faye? He hasn’t said anything about her, but it sure looks like she’s willing.”

While the guys joked around, Georgia said, “They make a striking couple. Jesse hasn’t dated anyone this year, has he? What’s the deal?”

When Violet bit into her sandwich to avoid answering, Georgia poked her in her side.

“You’re his sister. You should be able to give us the inside scoop. I can’t believe he doesn’t tell you anything. You guys are always together.”

“Jesse’s a gentleman,” Marie interjected. “He doesn’t kiss and tell. He’s the only guy I know who’s stayed friends with all his exes. None of them has a bad thing to say about him, except for the fact that he broke up with them. He gave them princess treatment for a few weeks—opening their door, pulling out their chairs, buying them flowers, and then bam .” Marie clapped her hands. “He says they’re done. No warning, no explanation other than it wasn’t working out. None of them can make sense of it. They’d take him back in a heartbeat if he asked.”

“I think Madyson took it the hardest. I heard Trent broke up with her because Jesse’s all she talked about.” Georgia looked around before she added, “It’s been, like, a year. You’d think she’d be over him by now.”

“Can you really blame her? Jesse’s everything any girl could want in a boyfriend.”

Violet tuned out her friends and fantasized about her senior year when she wouldn’t have to listen to her friends gush about what a gentleman Jesse was. If they only knew what he’d done to her on the way to school that morning…

Jesse’s gaze abruptly rose and speared hers. Her stomach clenched. She switched her attention back to Dad and forced herself to eat, even though she wasn’t hungry. She hoped Jesse dated Faye and transferred all his kinky, erotic fantasies to the gorgeous redhead instead of her. He was a sex fanatic. Perverted, twisted. He never missed an opportunity to have his way with her. The only time she was free of his advances was when she turned in for the night and locked the bedroom and bathroom door. The next day, the battle to avoid him began anew.

Jesse was still staring at her. She resolutely ignored him and focused on Dad, who laughed as he told a story about his coworker who had to defend himself against a guy wielding an umbrella like a sword while high on some psychedelic drug.

“And then, Derrick leaps at him and says…” Dad chortled.

“I joined the Air Force.”

Jesse’s statement was said so casually that Violet ignored it. It wasn’t until silence fell, and she registered that Mom and Dad were both gawking at Jesse, that she processed what he said.

Shock made her fingers fumble her fork, which clattered loudly as it dropped on her plate. She assumed Jesse would go to college, but if he went into the military, that would be even better! Her lips curved in what felt like the first genuine smile she’d had all year.

“You did what ?”

Lynne’s hoarse voice snapped Violet out of her giddy delight. Registering the tension in the air, she bowed her head to hide her joy, but at Jesse’s silence, she glanced at him and found him watching her through narrowed eyes.

“Jesse?”

Lynne’s tone was part plea, part demand. Slowly, Jesse transferred his attention to his mother who sat across the table from him.

“I enlisted,” Jesse said calmly.

“H-how? You didn’t ask for my consent. I didn’t sign anything allowing you to?—”

“I’m eighteen, Mom.”

Lynne’s expression went from horror to outrage as she shouted, “You haven’t talked about the military for years!”

Jesse didn’t bat an eye at his mother’s outburst. “Because it upset you, not because I changed my mind.”

“You saw what losing your father did to me, and you’re volunteering to put yourself in the same position?”

“I made a promise,” Jesse said quietly.

Lynne slammed her fist on the table. “Do you think your father would ask you to honor that promise if he knew he would die at thirty?”

“He died with honor.”

“He died instead of having a life with us. He died instead of getting out when I begged him to.” Lynne’s eyes glistened with tears. “Have you sworn in?” When Jesse hesitated, Lynne shot to her feet. “I forbid it, Jesse. Quit now before it’s too late.”

“Mom.”

“I’m serious. I can’t go through that again.” Lynne ran her hands through her hair. “I can’t believe you’d even consider…”

Violet jolted when Lynne abruptly turned on her.

“You didn’t try to talk him out of it?”

Taken aback, Violet opened and closed her mouth, unsure what to say. She knew Lynne had a temper, but she had never been on the receiving end of it until now. Her glee vanished in the face of Lynne’s wild despair.

“Violet didn’t know. I did this on my own,” Jesse interjected.

“Lynne,” Dad said in a consoling tone. “Let’s talk about this.”

“Talk?” Lynne scoffed as she paced with her arms wrapped around herself. “Apparently, talking isn’t something we do in this house anymore. People just make major life decisions without telling anyone.”

“Mom, this is my dream.”

Lynne planted her hands on the table and leaned toward her son. “You idolize your father, but his choices don’t have to be yours. You don’t have to walk the same path as him. There are better paths. You could be somebody, Jesse. You’re talented in so many areas. Why let them decide what to do with your life? Why submit yourself to that harsh environment? You should enjoy your freedom.” A tear slid down her cheek. “Why do you want to leave us?”

Jesse swallowed, displaying his first sign of discomfort.

“I don’t want to leave you.”

“So, don’t! Don’t go!”

Jesse lowered his gaze to his plate. “I have to do this.”

“Why?” Lynne cried.

Violet’s heart thudded in her ears as silence fell. Jesse was usually so careful and considerate of his mother. It was painful to see them at odds. Lynne looked distraught, but Jesse was standing his ground. Even though she’d initially been ecstatic at the news, Lynne’s devastation was contagious and made her own eyes water.

A crack of thunder made her flinch as the heavens opened and rain began to lash the windows.

“Vi,” Dad said quietly.

She was relieved to be excused from the table and the highly charged environment. No one said a word as she left her half-eaten dinner and made her way to her bedroom. She closed the door and winced when she heard Lynne explode. Her shouting was accompanied by another deafening boom of thunder that shook the house. She put on her headphones and let her punk rock music drown out the unexpected storms that had appeared out of nowhere.

Conflicting emotions sloshed around inside of her. On one hand, she was thrilled. If Jesse went into the Air Force, she’d be free. As Mom said, they would decide Jesse’s life. He wouldn’t be able to come home whenever he felt like it, like he would if he attended college and had holidays and school breaks. Once he signed, he had to fulfill his commitment, which was a minimum of four years for Active Duty.

It never crossed her mind that Jesse would join the military. Like Lynne, she used to get upset when he brought it up. That was when she actually cared about what he did with his life. Now, she wanted him gone. Out of her life, out of the state, out of the country, if possible. She bit her lip. She despised him, but she didn’t want him dead. Lynne was acting like Jesse would be sent to the front lines. Surely, Mom was overreacting?

Is this what he wanted to talk about when he drove her out to see the bluebonnets? She assumed he wanted to talk about which college he should attend. He hadn’t talked about the military in years. If Jesse had given her a choice of him going to college or the military, what would she have said? She tossed her hair, not willing to entertain such thoughts. Jesse’s future wasn’t her business. It was his, and he made the decision to enlist, which she was happy about—ecstatic, in fact.

Her life had become an endless tunnel with no light, no detours, no one to hold her hand. Jesse would jump her in the dark and corner and coerce her to get what he wanted before he disappeared, leaving her to piece herself back together and carry on, hand outstretched, as she tried to find her way in the pitch-black abyss. Sometimes, when she was too broken to walk, she crawled. She kept going, believing there had to be something up ahead. Jesse’s announcement caused a pinprick of light to cut through the dark, giving her a vision of a near future where there would be no tunnel, no filth, no more structuring her life around ways to avoid him. There was an end to her misery and despite Lynne’s fear, all Violet felt was overwhelming relief.

She tried to distract herself with homework, but her attention strayed. She tugged aside the headphones periodically to check if the coast was clear. The arguing went on for hours. Most of the time, it was Lynne who was shouting, but there was also the low murmur of Dad’s voice in what sounded like a conciliatory tone.

She’d decided to turn in for the night and had just brushed her teeth and locked the bathroom door behind her when her bedroom door opened. When Mom poked her head in, Violet tugged off her headphones and held them in one hand as she took in Lynne’s red, puffy eyes. Her anxiety spiked as she waited for the verdict. Had Mom talked Jesse out of joining the Air Force?

“Mom?”

When Lynne’s face crumpled, she rushed forward, partly because it looked like Lynne was going to collapse and partly because she didn’t want Lynne to see her jubilation. Comforting Lynne while she inwardly did cartwheels made her feel like a bad person, but she couldn’t help it. No one knew who Jesse truly was. This was best for all of them, Lynne just didn’t know it. As Lynne wept, that tiny bead of light in her tunnel began to expand and brighten, so she could practically feel its warmth.

Lynne pulled back and braced her hands on her shoulders. “Please talk to him. He hasn’t sworn in. There’s still a chance for him to get out of his commitment.”

Alarm cut through Violet’s contentment. “I… I don’t think anything I say will make a difference. His mind is made up and…” She looked away from Lynne’s heartbroken eyes. “He didn’t tell me what he was going to do. It seems like he didn’t want anyone to dissuade him.”

Lynne squeezed her arms. “You’re his best friend. You two are closer than blood siblings. If you tell him you want him to stay, that you need him here, he might do it for you.”

Her throat began to close as anxiety ripped through her. “We’ve grown apart.”

“You still mean the world to him. You can save him from making a huge mistake.”

“I…”

“Just try. Please.”

An invisible object obstructed her throat so she couldn’t breathe, making her eyes tear. Lynne cupped her cheek, expression softening, assuming they were on the same wavelength when nothing could be further from the truth.

Lynne kissed her cheek. “Sleep. Hopefully, we’ll wake up and this will all just be a horrible dream.”

After Mom left, she waited a few minutes to see if Dad was going to pop in. When he didn’t, she locked that door, too, and climbed into bed. She stared at the ceiling as she listened to the rain hammer down on the roof. A tree branch Dad had been meaning to cut scraped the side of the house as the wind picked up.

Is that what Jesse had been doing after school? Getting his paperwork and tests done to qualify and enlist? Even though Jesse hadn’t sworn in (whatever that meant), hopefully he was too far along in the process to back out without consequences. She would do almost anything for Lynne, but begging Jesse to stay wasn’t one of them. She pounded her pillow as she turned on her side. Jesse would be fine in the military. There was no need for Lynne to worry about him. This was a dream come true.

She woke when a hand clamped over her mouth. Her eyes flew open as a man sat on top of her. She panicked and thrashed as his weight sank her into the mattress. She let out a scream that was significantly muffled by his hand and the storm, which was still raging.

A head ducked down, and a nose brushed against hers before she heard, “Happy I’m joining the military, baby?”

Her heart stuttered at Jesse’s furious hiss.

“If I hadn’t promised my dad I would follow in his footsteps, I wouldn’t be going anywhere,” he growled as he took his hand away.

Fear made her strike out. She heard a satisfying crack as her palm hit his cheek. He cursed and a second later, his mouth landed on hers. The taste of spearmint mouthwash overwhelmed her as his tongue invaded. She raked her nails over him and realized he was naked. He hissed, back arching as she tried to draw blood. His mouth left hers and coasted down to where her neck flowed into her shoulder. He sank his teeth into her as he grabbed her wrists and pinned them to the mattress. She kicked her feet as he bit to punish. When she whimpered, he eased the pressure and then kissed her throbbing flesh as if he hadn’t used brute force to make her submit like they were part of the animal kingdom.

“You want to fight, baby? I’m in an obliging mood,” he said against her skin. “Mom used everything she could to make me quit.” His tongue slid over her racing pulse. “I assume she asked you to beg me to stay?”

She clenched her teeth.

He nipped her jaw. “Answer me.”

“Yes,” she said sullenly.

He lifted his head to look down at her. With her nightlight at the foot of her bed, his face was in shadow, but she still felt the intensity of his stare.

“So? What are you going to do, Violet?” He pressed his lips to hers. “What are you willing to sacrifice to make Mom happy?”

“I love her.”

He stilled.

“But not enough to ask you to stay.”

He was silent for a beat before he said, “So be it.”

He parted her legs with his knee and nestled his erection between her legs. Her flimsy pajama shorts were poor protection from his scorching heat and his hard dick, which she knew would be inside of her very soon. She yanked at her imprisoned wrists, which only made him tighten his grip. She wished she had the balls to scream her head off and have Mom and Dad catch him in the act. But she would rather endure whatever Jesse had planned than witness the look on Dad’s face when he discovered she was no longer pure.

“You can’t do this here!” she said desperately. “Mom and Dad are right down the hall!”

“Then we better be quiet.”

As he brushed kisses over her face, she considered head-butting him. What was with this affectionate bullshit? They rarely kissed. All he usually cared about was getting off. Foreplay was minimal. That’s how she preferred it. She just wanted to get this over with. Why…? She stiffened as it finally hit her.

“How did you get in here? I locked both doors!”

“I broke the lock on the bathroom door.”

“You—”

“Ask Dad to repair it, I’ll break it again.”

He slid off her onto his side and hauled her up in bed, so she was propped on her pillows. Before she could roll away, he yanked her camisole down and latched onto her breast while his hand slid into her pants.

“You want me out of your life, fine, but that means I get full access,” he growled as he parted her.

His middle finger slid in with embarrassing ease.

Ashamed by her body’s response, she snapped, “Can’t you get this from Faye instead of me?”

“Faye?” he muttered around her nipple.

She gritted her teeth. “Yes, the redhead hanging on your arm at lunch.”

His dick jerked against her thigh. “Jealous?”

She smacked his shoulder as his thumb began to tease her clit. “No! I want you to find someone else to fulfill your sick fantasies instead of me!”

“There’s little chance of that happening,” he said distractedly as he worked her. “Faye’s brother just joined the Air Force, so I’ve been talking to him about his experience and what to expect. I’ve been connecting with others who are joining other branches, and Faye decided to tag along. She’s nice, but…”

He rubbed himself against her.

“She isn’t you.” He kissed the base of her throat. “Touch me, Vi.”

Her hand balled into a fist. Quick as lightning, the hand in her pants disappeared, and his wet finger was shoved into her mouth. She gripped his wrist with both hands to stop him from shoving his finger down her throat.

“I swear to God if you don’t put your hand on me, I’ll…” He let out a breath when her hand closed around him. “Good. Now, stroke me the way I taught you.”

She obeyed, simultaneously sucking on the finger he hadn’t withdrawn from her mouth. He hissed through his teeth and arched into her touch.

“Slow down,” he ground out.

Fuck you , she thought, tightening her grip to make him blow.

She sensed his control snap a second before he yanked her hand off him.

“I warned you I wasn’t in the mood,” he hissed.

When he sat up and reached for her, she lost her temper. Screw him! She didn’t care about his mood or what he wanted. He wasn’t supposed to do this kind of shit when Mom and Dad were present. What the hell was wrong with him?

They tussled. Her stuffed animals and pillows went flying. Jesse leapt off the bed, yanked her onto her back and dragged her, so her head was hanging off the mattress. Before she could figure out why he’d positioned her so bizarrely, Jesse cupped her jaw, forcing her head back. She had a split second of warning before his dick slid into her mouth and Jesse planted himself in her throat.

She panicked, hands and legs wheeling through the air as she choked. Jesse withdrew enough for her to breathe. She coughed and tried to turn her head aside, but he collared her throat and ordered, “Be still.”

She moaned in protest and pushed at him, but she was trapped by his iron thighs and the rock-hard dick impaling her mouth. In this position, she was completely helpless and at his mercy.

“You didn’t listen to me, so now we’re going to do this my way.” He let his hand wander from her throat to her breasts. “You’re gonna suck me until I tell you to stop. You fight me and try to make me come before I’m ready, you’ll regret it.”

Slowly, he pushed forward. She screwed her eyes shut and made a concentrated effort not to fight him and control her gag reflex. She heard him expel his breath and knew he was pleased when he gripped her breast.

“Yes, just like that,” he groaned.

She gripped the backs of his corded thighs and obeyed every husky command. She was rewarded for her good behavior when he yanked off her bottoms, spread her thighs, and put his mouth between her legs. As all the blood rushed to her head, she felt a euphoric rush. Jesse knew her body well and used everything in his arsenal to rouse her to a fever pitch. She got so lost in what they were doing that she grabbed his ass to yank him toward her so she could take every inch of him.

She felt more than heard his guttural groan before he yanked out of her mouth as if it were an electrical socket. As she lay there, panting, he cupped the back of her head and lifted it to give her a deep, wet, upside-down kiss.

“That’s my girl,” he husked before he pulled her into a sitting position.

She didn’t have time to get her bearings because he pulled her off the bed and promptly bent her over it. She buried her face in her tangled sheets, which was convenient because a second later, she screamed when he slammed inside of her. He froze with his body blanketing hers, but she was too far gone to care. She bounced under him and wrapped her hand around the back of his neck, urging him on. He dropped his head on her shoulder, panting as he grappled for control.

“You’re killing me, Vi.”

“Hurry,” she whispered.

Outside, the storm seemed to be picking up, thunder crashing like cymbals, gearing up so they could have this moment.

He nuzzled her cheek. “Tell me you want me.”

She bared her teeth. He wasn’t satisfied that he controlled her body, he always pushed for more. He was such an asshole.

“Vi, you need this, same as me. You can’t deny it.” When she didn’t answer, his hand fisted in her hair. “Why can’t you admit it?”

Because she would rather die than give in completely. He may rule her in these moments, but there was still a part of her he hadn’t conquered. Would never conquer. It was what gave her the strength to resist and soldier through every day, even though sometimes she considered giving up. She would never surrender that piece of her identity to him. If she did, she would be lost.

He capitulated with a ragged, “Fuck,” before he began to move.

With nature colluding with them to disguise their forbidden tryst, she let herself go. She let herself enjoy the pleasures of the flesh she normally denied herself in the light of day and made demands he gave into, leading to an orgasm that made her gnaw her sheets.

“Tell me,” Jesse pleaded. “Just this one time. Please.”

She ignored him and lay like a limp, wrecked doll. She knew what to expect and wasn’t disappointed when he went berserk. Jesse took his frustrations out on her body. When she began to make too much noise, he clapped a hand over her mouth. When that didn’t work, he shoved her face in the mattress and put a pillow over her head. He ended up using it himself when he came, folding over her and shouting her name into the stuffing.

Even as he spilled inside of her, he shoved the pillow away and hissed, “Deny all you want, but we both know the truth. You love what’s between us, you’re just too much of a coward to admit it.”

He pulled out of her, spilling down the back of her thighs. By the time her quivering legs collapsed, and she landed on her knees beside the bed, he was already gone.