Page 14

JESSE

Violet’s upper body arched as she released a beautiful, muted scream before she went limp. As he lapped up what poured from her, she shuddered and tried to scoot away, but her body was weak and uncoordinated, and she was no match for him. Eventually, she gave up and let him have his way.

When he was content, he rested his cheek on her sticky inner thigh. He’d never been drunk or high, but he suspected it was similar to how he felt right now.

For a few hellish hours, he thought he may have lost her, but she was back where she belonged. He sated his demons and made sure he fed hers, too. He fucked her on her hands and knees before he went 69, straddling her face, forcing her to get him hard again while he made her come with his mouth. After that, he took her missionary with her ankles resting on his shoulders. That’s when she began babbling about sin, Amnon and Tamar, and some deal she’d made with God. He didn’t care about a fucked up, incestuous relationship that happened three thousand years ago or what she promised God. He had his own deal with God—her. He lost his father so that God could bring Violet into his life. She was his destiny, his salvation, his . She belonged to him and he to her. Why couldn’t she see that? What she labeled as sin felt like a spiritual cleansing to him. She was home to him, and he wouldn’t let her destroy the ties he’d so carefully nurtured.

She climaxed when he did her missionary and then burst into tears. He’d never heard her cry like that before. She was distraught, inconsolable. Nothing he said would calm her, so he did the only thing he could think of—turn those pitiful cries into gasps of pleasure by burying his face in his favorite place. She fought him and called for help until she was hoarse, but God was on his side. No one interfered. He made her beg for release and wrung out two more orgasms from her before he was satisfied.

He kissed her mound before he got to his feet and sorted himself out. He absently brushed debris from his legs before pulling his jeans up. He was grateful he’d worn a black shirt instead of white. If not, it would have been covered in dirt and grass stains from all the rolling around on the ground they’d just done.

He surveyed Violet, who made a delectable picture. She was splayed on her back, blouse hiked up to expose her abdomen and bra, jeans caught on one ankle while her other leg was completely bare. Her pussy glistened from his ministrations, inner thighs red and swollen from the love bites he’d left behind. The urge to wring more affirmations from her was tempting, but they didn’t have time.

He retrieved her torn underwear and pocketed them before he crouched beside her. “Vi.”

Her only reaction to his voice was a tear that slipped from the corner of her closed eyelids.

“We have to go, baby,” he said before he gripped her limp hands and pulled her up.

He wasn’t surprised when she swayed on her feet. He’d been rough. Brutal, actually, but hearing her chalk up the best days of his life as “nice” and her dismissal of their relationship put him into a mindless state that didn’t leave room for tenderness.

He steadied her before he unfolded her crumpled blouse and brushed grass, dirt, and leaves from her before he fed her leg into her pants and pulled them up. Both of their jeans were suspiciously dirty, but thankfully his dark shirt and her colorful top hid the worst of the stains.

“Can you walk?” he asked.

When she didn’t acknowledge him, he inwardly shrugged and put her over his shoulder. She didn’t fight or utter a sound. They were a ways from the parking lot, but now that he’d had her, he felt like he could climb Mount Everest.

He was grateful he didn’t pass anyone on the path. He opened the SUV and settled her in the passenger seat. She finally opened her eyes, but didn’t look at him. She stared straight ahead, expression blank.

He climbed in to fasten her seatbelt. She didn’t react when he caressed her breasts or kissed her temple. She was acting like a lifeless doll. She was punishing herself for what they’d done, but he knew how to bring her back to life. When his mouth was between her legs, when he sucked on her nipples and played with her asshole, she went wild. Whatever was going on in her mind, he would overcome. He wouldn’t allow her to withdraw, not when she was finally his. He would do whatever was necessary to keep her.

He retrieved his phone from his backpack before getting into the driver’s seat. He wasn’t surprised to see thirty text messages and over a dozen calls from his teammates. He would deal with that later. The only missed call he cared about was Mom’s. He called her back as he turned the key in the ignition.

“Are you home?” Mom asked.

“No, we’re on our way. Violet wanted to take a walk at the park. We’re leaving now.”

He glanced at Violet as he reversed. She was doing a good job of imitating a mannequin.

“Coach Rick called Dad and I,” Mom said.

“I’m not surprised.”

“I’m sorry, Jesse, but Isaac feels that?—”

“It’s okay, Mom.”

She sighed. “I’ll see you two at home. Can you start dinner?”

“Sure.”

“Thanks, son.”

“No problem.”

He hung up, tossed his phone in the cupholder, and rested his hand on Violet’s thigh. She didn’t push him away, which pleased him. What he felt when he pummeled Tucker was nothing compared to the red haze that engulfed him this morning when she tried to end them. The only reason he hadn’t pulled over to deal with Violet was because he knew his parents would be expecting a call from Coach Rick after he quit the team. Once that was out of the way, he would deal with Violet. They wouldn’t go home until things were set right between them.

He stroked her thigh. What he’d done was wrong, but it was hard to feel guilty when he’d come inside her, had her taste on his tongue, and she was sitting docilely beside him, letting him touch her. Right and wrong ceased to matter where she was concerned. His need to possess her trumped all else.

The days leading up to Sunday had been a dream. Violet surpassed every fantasy. He worried he would scare her with his intensity and need, but she not only matched him, at times it seemed her desires surpassed his. She eagerly jumped into every scenario he created. He couldn’t believe she was finally his. Their bodies were made for each other. They were so in tune, words weren’t necessary. Everything was perfect until that fucking phone call, which tore down the walls of the alternate reality he constructed around Violet to insulate her from the outside world.

The stark terror on her face when Isaac nearly discovered them in the bathroom told him she wasn’t ready to come out to their parents. Between finding out that worthless bastard was in the hospital and Pastor Sonny’s sermon, he knew the progress he made had taken a major hit. Sensing her mental anguish in church, he tried to comfort her, but she rejected him.

With their parents present, he’d been forced to give her space. Discovering she had barred him from her bedroom was a nasty shock. He hadn’t slept and had no choice but to draw his own conclusions about what that meant, which she confirmed this morning on the ride to school.

A part of her was still that lonely girl, afraid of being abandoned if she let people down. Yesterday, she crumbled under the weight of their parent’s disappointment. He had never viewed her need for love and acceptance as a defect until he realized she would never choose him over their parents. That wouldn’t do.

If Mom and Dad found out, they wouldn’t excuse such blatant immorality or allow it to flourish under their roof. He suspected their parents would go so far as to separate them. He was willing to face whatever consequences came from his actions, but he had to make sure Violet would stick by him, and she wasn’t there. Not even close. She would rather break up than defy their parents.

He ignored the fire that heated his blood. They would get there. One day, Violet would love him with the same fervor that he did her. Until then, he intended to keep her as close to him as possible. He wasn’t going to let Pastor’s Sonny’s lesson about King David’s mistakes or their parent’s disapproval keep him from her. He loved her. His life revolved around her. He wouldn’t let anyone come between them.

When they pulled up to the house, he was relieved to see Dad’s truck was gone. He slipped on his backpack before going around to Violet’s door. She displayed no awareness of their surroundings or him. Her face was smudged with dirt, hair a tangled mess, and if either of their parents caught a glimpse of her, no explanation would get him out of this.

“We’re home, baby,” he said as he undid her seatbelt, shouldered her bag and tugged her into his arms.

He carried her to the house and hoped the neighbors were otherwise occupied. He headed straight for their bathroom and kicked both doors closed before he set her in the tub. He dropped their bags and caught her before she collapsed.

“We have to clean up.” He flicked a ladybug out of her hair. “Do you want me to bathe you?”

She looked right through him with eyes the color of rich moss.

He cupped her cheek. “Violet?”

No response.

“I’ll take care of you,” he said and began to strip her.

Once her clothes were in a pile, he got naked and climbed in with her. He expected her to balk when he started positioning her so he could clean her thoroughly, but she remained strangely compliant throughout. He was grateful, since he didn’t know how much time they had.

“I’m sorry I was so rough,” he said as he ran the soapy washcloth over her skin. “Are you hurt?”

She didn’t answer.

He had to shampoo her hair twice. He scrubbed every inch of her, including the bottom of her feet and between every toe. He wished he could linger. The fact that she was allowing him to care for her so intimately without shame pacified the entity inside him that had compelled him to take her so savagely. The need to reinforce their physical bonds consumed him. He planned to possess her as frequently as possible to maintain their connection, especially when her mind and body were at war with one another. Eventually, they would align once she stopped fighting what was between them.

Even though he’d had her multiple times, his body reacted to her nearness. He couldn’t be around her and not want her. He thought once she belonged to him that his obsession would ease, but it was worse than ever.

She stood in the back of the shower, as animated as a statue, as he quickly cleaned himself. She didn’t react to the water that dripped down her face or when he came to her. He couldn’t resist giving her a gentle kiss she didn’t return before he wrung out her hair, wrapped it in a towel, and hastily dried her.

His senses were on high alert as he dressed her in sweats. The only sign of the rough sex they had at the park was her swollen lips, but that could be excused in a dozen ways. He carried her into the living room, settled her on the couch, and put on her favorite show.

“I’m going to start dinner. Do you need anything?”

She didn’t look at him or acknowledge his question. He kissed her forehead before he went into the kitchen. From the tortillas, beans, and vegetables Mom had on the counter, he deduced dinner was supposed to be tacos. Once the vegetables were cut and the hamburger was simmering on the stove, he fetched Violet’s hairbrush.

He settled her on the floor between his legs and combed her hair. He’d always loved playing with her hair. So much so, Mom taught him how to braid it. He did so now before he placed her back on the couch and switched positions, so he was on his knees facing her.

Her eyes were more hazel than that startling green. His coddling was having the desired effect. Before Mom and Dad arrived, he needed her coherent. Violet had always worn her emotions on her sleeve. A lack of them would be more noticeable than anything else she could do.

“Violet.”

No reaction.

He stroked the apple of her cheek. “What’s between us isn’t sinful.”

Her eyes focused on him.

“People search all their lives for the connection we have between us. It’s rare and special. It’s worth fighting for.”

Her gaze flicked away. The entity inside of him snarled at the rejection, but he had to be patient. He couldn’t force her to catch up to his level of adoration and worship.

“Do you remember what you said after Mom and Dad left for their honeymoon?”

She didn’t move, but he sensed her withdraw even further. He ran his hands up and down her arms to stop her from tuning out and escaping in her mind.

“You said good things don’t happen to you. You were terrified something would happen that would ruin everything.”

When he clasped her face to force her to look at him, she closed her eyes in defense. She was trembling, which he took as a good sign. The ice was cracking. He nuzzled her, encouraging the breakdown.

“Those fears never went away. They’re still here now, controlling you, trying to control me. This is a blessing, a fucking gift, and you’re treating it like a curse.” His lips captured the first tear that fell. “I’m not going to let you do it. I’m not going to let you destroy us. If you want to lie to Mom and Dad, to your friends, to God, I don’t care, but you can’t lie to me. I know you better than you know yourself.” He kissed the shell of her ear and sighed in relief when she shivered. “Tell me you didn’t like what I did to you. That you didn’t feel painfully alive. You begged me for more.”

She let out a choked sound.

“You want me, too,” he whispered harshly. “I had to force you to suck me, but in the end, you wanted me to come down your throat.”

When she punched his shoulder, he sat back and saw she was glaring at him through dripping eyes.

He softened and cupped her face. “Do you really think God is cruel enough to make us want each other if we weren’t meant to be?”

“It’s a test to resist temptation.” Her voice was raspy from screaming.

“Or a test of our devotion to one another,” he countered.

She shook her head.

“Don’t compare what’s happening between us to King David’s affair with Bathsheba or those half siblings,” he growled.

She pushed at his chest. “You’re my brother.”

“Not genetically.”

“Legally, we have the same parents.”

“Do the labels matter so much? What if I wasn’t your stepbrother?”

“But you are! And anyway, it’s still not okay! We’re not supposed to have sex!”

“But getting married would make it right?”

Violet went ghost white.

“You…” she began in a strangled tone but was interrupted by the sound of the garage door opening.

Violet shoved him hard enough to make him rock back on his heels. She frantically wiped away her tears and then touched her hair and frowned as if she’d slept through him braiding it for her. He got to his feet but stole a kiss to put some color back in her face. He was on his way to the kitchen when Mom came through the door.

“Hey, kids.”

“Hey, Mom.”

When Jesse kissed her cheek, he caught the relief that passed through her eyes.

Mom clasped his face. “Are you okay?”

“Never better.”

Mom blinked. “Really?”

“Going to the park put things into perspective and helped me clear my head.”

He heard Violet’s stifled gasp from the living room, but Mom didn’t catch it. Mom followed him to the kitchen and perked up when she saw that everything was done.

“You’re in pajamas already?” Mom asked, plucking at his sweatpants.

“We were sweaty and filthy, so we came home and washed up. Dinner should be ready in a few minutes. You can shower if you want. I got this.”

Mom patted his chest. “Thanks, son. I think I will. Dad should be home soon.”

That evening turned out to be busier than any of them anticipated. Coach Rick didn’t give up. He called the landline to speak to his parents again, and several teammates stopped by to confirm what they’d heard and pleaded with Mom and Dad to change their minds. Jesse could see Isaac teetering on his punishment, but he didn’t ask to be let off the hook.

When Isaac said he had to quit football, he’d been taken aback and initially pissed before he realized the time he would have spent at practice or at games could now be dedicated to Violet. If it came down to football or Violet, he would choose her in a heartbeat. Ultimately, he saw this as another reward for beating Tucker’s ass.

It took two hours for his friends and teammates to accept defeat. He stood on the driveway as they let out dejected honks and drove away. Violet was beside him. She’d been drawn out of the house by the girls who’d come with their boyfriends or brothers. She was pale and subdued but functioning well enough that the only question her friends asked had been whether she was coming down with a cold.

Thanks to his behavior that morning and the parade of visitors, Mom and Dad were mainly focused on him at dinner. He thought no one noticed Violet’s listlessness and the fact that she took just a few bites of the taco he made her until Mom rested her hand on Violet’s arm.

“Honey, are you all right?”

As Violet visibly struggled to come up with a response, he asked, “I went too hard on you on the trail today, didn’t I?”

Violet gave a little jerk and gaped at him.

“You’re sore, aren’t you?”

He was pleased by the flicker of rebellion in her eyes and charmed by the blush that hit her cheeks as she shook her head.

He sighed loudly. “Stubborn.”

Violet yelped when he picked her up and snapped, “I’m fine ! Put me down!”

“Don’t be proud,” he chided. “I’ll go easier on you next time.”

“You two,” Mom chuckled as he carried Violet to her bedroom.

He closed the door behind him and made his way to her bed. He flicked back the covers before he set her down.

“Do you need Ibuprofen?”

“I said, I’m fine,” she said sullenly and stared at the ceiling.

He glanced at the closed door before he decided to climb in beside her. Violet’s eyes nearly bugged out of her head.

“Are you crazy?” she hissed.

As he stretched out, she rolled to the other side and would have escaped if he hadn’t dragged her back where she belonged.

“Let me go!”

“Hush,” he said as he gathered her against him and pressed her face against his throat.

“What are you doing?” she demanded, voice muffled.

“Giving both of us what we need.”

“I don’t want this,” she said, wriggling, until he tightened his arms around her.

She let out an angry huff and muttered under her breath. The feel of her lips brushing against his skin made his blood sing. He ignored his body’s reaction and focused on giving her the comfort that he hadn’t been able to earlier in the day. He stroked her back, shoulders, and sides as he tried to soothe the physical trauma he wrought. For long minutes, she was completely rigid. Nearly fifteen minutes passed before she quivered and unwillingly collapsed against him.

“I didn’t mean to hurt you,” he murmured.

“But you did.”

Her voice, thick with tears and tainted with fear, made him place kisses along her hairline.

“I’m sorry, baby.”

“I’ve never seen that side of you before.”

“Me either.”

“You’ve changed.”

“So have you.”

She didn’t deny it. More time passed before the last of her tension dissolved, leaving her boneless in his arms, just as he intended. He heard the distant clink of silverware and plates as Mom and Dad cleared the table, accurately deducing he wasn’t coming back. He cuddled Violet against him, imagining a future where he could hold her like this without fear of being reprimanded for doing what felt like the most natural thing in the world to him. He thought she’d fallen asleep until her hand twisted in his shirt.

“I know this is special,” she whispered.

His heart leapt at her acknowledgement.

She eased back so she could see his face. Her wide, beseeching gaze made his stomach twist.

“I don’t want to ruin what we have with sex,” she said in a rush.

He bit back a groan. “It won’t,” he began.

“ Please , Jesse. Can we try to keep sex out of it and just see if…?”

Despite all he’d said, she was still in denial and trying to reverse the clock to a time they could never return to. She wanted to keep him at arm’s length and was instinctively trying to loosen the bonds that sex fortified and strengthened every time he took her. He wouldn’t allow it. He had every intention of exploiting their connection until they were so interlocked that she was a part of him.

As he tried to think of the easiest way to let her down, she cupped his cheek with a trembling hand.

Eyes sparkling with earnest tears, she said, “I don’t want to lose you.”

Nothing he said would reassure her that they were on the right path. She believed God would punish her for continuing their relationship by breaking them and the family apart. He had no intention of allowing either of those things to happen, but only time would prove him right.

“You’ll never lose me,” he promised.

“You’ll try?” she pushed.

When he hesitated, her eyes welled with tears.

Pity made him say, “Yes.”

Even as her face lit with relief, he knew he wouldn’t keep his promise.