Page 10

VIOLET

Violet woke before daylight. She tiptoed into the bathroom and washed her face and teeth before she left her bedroom. She was surprised to see a glow from the dining room and found Dad sitting at the table, reading his Bible.

“Hey, kiddo. How are you feeling?”

“Okay.” Her heart was in her throat as she came forward and gripped the back of the chair. “What are you doing up so early?”

“God woke me up, told me I needed to read the Word.” He tapped the open Bible. “Mom told me you weren’t feeling good yesterday. I checked on you before I turned in, but you were out. I prayed over you.”

She gave him a tremulous smile. “It worked. I feel much better.”

He pulled out Lynne’s chair. “Coffee?”

She made a face. “No!”

He chuckled. “Cocoa it is.”

She sat as he went to the kitchen. She tucked her hands between her thighs as Dad made her a comfort drink. She thought that just by looking at her, people would be able to tell some monumental change had happened, but even her sharp- eyed father didn’t seem to think anything was amiss. That was a relief.

“There you go.”

She grinned when Dad set a mug heaping with marshmallows in front of her. “Thank you.”

She popped a few in her mouth before she realized Dad was watching her closely. She froze.

“What?”

“When Lynne told me you weren’t feeling good, I thought something else may have happened.”

Her pulse skipped. “Like what?”

“I don’t know.” He took a long draw on his coffee. “I thought, maybe, boy troubles?”

She wrapped her hands around the mug and stared at the quivering marshmallows.

“Vi?”

She met his serious gaze.

“You rarely get sick. Is there something you want to tell me?”

“Tucker and I broke up,” she heard herself say.

She hadn’t realized she’d made a conscious decision until the words left her mouth. She’d been trying not to think past getting something to eat—the primary reason she’d gotten up at this hour. Apparently, her mind had made some decisions while she slept.

Even if Tucker didn’t hate her for Jesse beating the hell out of him, she wasn’t the same person she’d been yesterday. She couldn’t act as if nothing had happened. Jesse was partially right. Tucker had been pressuring her sexually and eventually, she would have given into him, and it wouldn’t be because she had any deep feelings for him. It would be to assuage her body’s needs. Now that Jesse had done that for her, there was no need for her to use these boys as a distraction or outlet. All these months of emotional turmoil had been washed away by yesterday’s events. She was a new person and had officially stepped into womanhood.

“I thought that may be the case,” Dad said.

She narrowed her eyes. “You’re smiling.”

“Can you blame me?” He held up a hand before she could say a word. “I’m sure Tucker’s a good kid, but I don’t like the way he treated you. He always had an arm around your neck like you were his property…” He shook his head. “You want a guy who looks after you and respects you. Tucker only cared about himself. You can do better.”

She pushed her marshmallows down into the hot cocoa.

“You want to tell me why you broke up with him?”

“No.”

“Maybe you should take a break from dating.” When she gave him a level look, he tacked on, “Or date one of the guys from church, so I don’t have to worry so much.”

“Morning.”

They turned their heads as Jesse entered the dining room with messy hair and a wrinkled shirt. Jesse came straight to her. Her stomach clenched as he clasped her face between his hands.

“You feel okay?” he asked.

She gripped his hand, very aware of Dad watching them. “I’m fine. Just hungry.”

Jesse nodded and kissed her forehead. “I’ll make you something.” He moved to Dad and clapped him on the back. “What about you?”

“I can eat.”

She cut into her melted marshmallows with her spoon, dunked them in cocoa and shoveled them in her mouth.

“Vi said she had boy problems. You know anything about it?” Dad asked.

She choked as Jesse turned away from the open fridge with an egg carton in his hand.

“Boy problems?” he echoed.

“She said her and Tucker are done.”

“Dad!” she exclaimed and swatted his arm.

“What? I’m spreading the good news. We’ve all been worried, especially Jesse. He didn’t tell us about Tucker’s background, but I didn’t need him to. All you had to do was look at the kid to know he was bad news.”

“I get it!” she said loudly. “It’s over.”

He looked up at the ceiling and murmured, “Thank you, Jesus.”

She was considering kicking him when Lynne appeared, tying the sash of her robe over her nightgown.

“Everything okay?”

“Yeah, we’re just thanking God for answering prayer,” Dad said.

Before she could make a retort, Lynne clasped her face, just as Jesse had.

“How are you feeling, honey? Do you need to stay home from school?”

“No, I’m back to normal. I’m just hungry.”

“I’m on it, Mom,” Jesse called out.

Mom patted her cheek before she gave Dad a kiss and made her way to the kitchen. She gave Jesse a hug before she grabbed a cup of coffee and settled at the table.

“Do you have a scripture for us, Isaac?” Lynne asked.

“I opened my Bible to this.” Dad bent over the page and tapped a passage. “Ecclesiastes 3: 1-8. There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens: a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build...”

Lynne nodded as Dad read the passage that described the ever-changing seasons of life.

“There’s a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace,” Dad finished and cocked his head to the side as he contemplated the highlighted passage. “I’ve had my fair share of worries and internal battles lately. I’m always trying to control every outcome and prepare for what I think will happen.”

Violet was caught off guard when Dad suddenly grinned at her.

“But there’s no need to worry. God heard my prayers and answered them. What isn’t meant to be, God won’t allow.”

Her mouth dropped. “Dad!”

“Did I miss something?” Lynne asked with raised brows.

“Vi broke up with her wannabe rock star,” Dad shared with unashamed delight.

“Oh, honey, is that why you weren’t feeling well yesterday?” Lynne asked with great sympathy as she reached across the table to pat her hand.

Jesse plopped a plate of pancakes in front of her and Mom. “Better eat them while they’re hot.”

She was putting the finishing touches on her makeup when Jesse double knocked on the bathroom door. Before she could say he could come in, he did so, startling her.

“You sure you want to go to school?” he asked. “You don’t have to if you’d rather stay home and rest.”

She lifted her chin. “I’m fine.”

He held her gaze. “You don’t have to pretend with me. I know I hurt you yesterday.” His eyes moved over her face as he reached out and gently stroked her side. “In more ways than one. I want to make sure you’re okay.”

She swallowed hard, eyes watering slightly at his tenderness. “I really am okay.”

Whatever he saw in her eyes must have reassured him because he nodded.

“I’m ready when you are,” he said and left without another word.

She stared after him, heart thudding in her ears, every nerve ending buzzing. Everything was the same and yet… not. He wasn’t ignoring what happened, but he also wasn’t discussing it in detail. She was grateful and confused.

Once she was in her bedroom, she automatically looked around for her backpack before remembered where she left it. She wished she knew what to expect at school today. She suspected Tucker wouldn’t show his bruised face… Unless he decided to report Jesse’s unprovoked attack to the school? Had anyone witnessed what happened? Were any rumors circulating? Had Tucker tried to contact her?

With countless questions crowding her mind, she headed down the hall. Mom was already gone and after a quick scan of the kitchen and living room, she headed outside where Jesse was already in the SUV. She walked toward him, feeling naked and awkward without her backpack.

She slipped into the passenger seat and buckled herself in. Jesse had the country station on. She tried to get lost in the music, but her mind was overwrought as she anticipated what the day would bring.

“Where’s your backpack?”

“It was on the side of Tucker’s Bronco. I hope it’s still in the parking lot,” she said, rapping her fingernails on the door.

“Hopefully, someone turned it in.”

“Yeah.”

There was a long pause before he asked, “You’re breaking up with Tucker?”

The toe of her right shoe tapped restlessly. “Yes.”

“That’s good.”

She waited for him to elaborate, but when he didn’t, she didn’t pursue it. Instead, she asked, “You aren’t worried you’ll get in trouble?”

“For what?”

She finally looked at him. He wore a white shirt with jeans and a navy hat pulled low over his eyes. The gold cross on his chain gleamed on his chest.

“For assaulting someone,” she said sharply. “You could get kicked off the team for fighting. What you did to Tucker could get you banned from sports completely.”

“I had cause.”

She tensed and balled her hand into a fist as she reminded him quietly, “He didn’t force me.”

A hint of the rage he displayed yesterday crossed his face as he shot her a hard, glittering look. “Don’t, Vi.”

“I’m just being honest! If you get pulled into the office...”

“I won’t.”

“How do you know that?”

“Because Tucker had it coming and he knew it. Why do you think I walked out of practice yesterday?”

She straightened, this new piece of information catching her totally by surprise. Jesse should have been occupied with football practice. That’s why she took leave of her senses and allowed Tucker to take such liberties. She was so rattled, it never crossed her mind why Jesse had stumbled across them in the first place.

“Why’d you leave practice?” she asked.

The muscles in his forearms flexed as he tightened his hold on the steering wheel. “I had a bone to pick with Tucker, but once I found you two, why I was looking for him no longer mattered.”

“So, you weren’t looking for me, you were looking for him,” she clarified.

“Yes.”

“And you weren’t expecting to find me with him.”

He shifted restlessly in his seat, yesterday’s aggression permeating the air.

“No.”

So, the events that unfolded yesterday wasn’t because of her, as she thought. Jesse was already angry enough with Tucker to leave practice. Catching Tucker fingering her set off Jesse’s temper, which was the driving force behind his behavior. If she hadn’t been in that compromising position when Jesse found them, she would still be a virgin today.

Feeling suddenly ill, she looked out the window and was relieved to see they had reached school. She scanned the parking lot, but there was no sign of Tucker’s Bronco.

When she pushed open her door, Jesse said, “I’ll come with you to lost and found.”

Apparently, he didn’t see her backpack either. As they made their way toward the cluster of buildings, she eyed the other students. No one pointed or came running up to them to confirm any juicy gossip. When their friends called out to them, she and Jesse raised their hands in acknowledgment, but they didn’t stop to chat. Again, everything seemed normal. Freakishly so.

She didn’t have high hopes that her backpack had been turned in, but to her immense relief, some angel had done the right thing. She immediately plunged her hand into the front pocket and said a silent prayer of thanks when she found her phone. As they walked out of the office, she scrolled through her messages and was relieved not to see anything out of the ordinary. By some miracle, the atomic bomb that went off in her life yesterday had gone unnoticed by anyone else.

“Vi.”

She looked up with a frown. Jesse was looking down at her with a strange look on his face. “What?”

“Any word from Tucker?”

“No.”

Jesse nodded. “That’s good.”

When the bell rang, he squeezed her arm.

“I’ll see you later.”

She watched him walk away. Faithful Marissa materialized at his side. Jesse hadn’t dated after he broke up with Madyson four months ago. He’d been single for some time, which had caused quite a lot of speculation and gossip. Girls fawned over him, desperate to win his favor, but he seemed immune to their charm.

She turned in the opposite direction to go to her first class. She wasn’t sure why her chest was tight or why her eyes began to water. She dabbed at the corner of her eye and fixed a smile on her face. All was well. Yesterday happened. She couldn’t take it back and if she could, would she? She crossed the threshold into womanhood. Today, she was wiser and more mature.

So why did she feel so lost and lonely?

Want to get lunch somewhere?

She didn’t respond to Jesse’s text for two periods. She wasn’t sure whether she should keep her distance from him or not. He had taken everything in stride, but that feeling of calm acceptance she woke with was beginning to wane.

Her friends were talking and laughing around her, but she felt disconnected, like her normal frequency was off. It was clear that they hadn’t heard anything about what happened between Jesse and Tucker. They would have bombarded her otherwise. Georgia asked about Tucker during recess. She said they’d had a fight and were on a break. Her friends rubbed her back and gave her sympathetic hugs. The urge to confide in them was so strong, she had to excuse herself from their huddle.

In her next class, she noticed she was still getting odd looks like she had the day before. She kept her attention on her assignment and tried to ignore the paranoia that everyone could see right through her. If anyone knew that she, Violet Carr, had lost her virginity yesterday, no one would be giving her intense stares. They would be gawking. And if they knew who she’d lost it to…

“Are you sure?” someone whispered. “No. Violet? ”

Her back stiffened as someone a row back gossiped about her. She reached for her phone and accepted Jesse’s invitation to get lunch off campus. She had to get out of here.

The moment the bell rang, she dashed out the door and jogged to the parking lot. Jesse was already behind the wheel. She wasn’t hungry, but the strain of appearing normal when she felt anything but was taking its toll. She was terrified she would accidentally blurt out something to her friends and once that happened, there was no taking it back. Better to be with Jesse. At least she didn’t have to pretend with him.

“Hey,” he said as she tossed her backpack on the floor and hopped into the passenger seat.

“Hey,” she replied and rolled down the window for some fresh air.

“What do you want to eat?”

“Anything.”

“Mexican?”

“Sure,” she sighed.

“Are you okay?”

“Yup.”

Jesse stopped by a well-known taco place. She surveyed the menu and jolted when Jesse touched her back.

“Know what you want?” he asked.

“Uh, can I get chicken tacos, and I’m going to grab an iced tea from the fridge.”

He nodded and jerked his head, indicating for her to sit. She nabbed her drink before she sat at a glossy round table. Jesse stood behind two stocky construction workers. She found herself comparing Jesse’s build to the grown men. Jesse’s broad shoulders and military stance made him appear much older than his eighteen years. He had also put on some muscle while helping to rebuild the church this summer. He had a knack for it and had been working with a general contractor as an apprentice on the weekends.

Her eyes moved over him, taking in the well-fitted jeans and trim waist. As her eyes moved up, she spotted something above his collar. She half rose from her seat before she sat, hands over her mouth, as she stared at the scratches she’d left on the back of his neck. The urge to lift his shirt and inspect his back was overwhelming.

As Jesse stepped up to the counter, the cashier adjusted her black hat and blushed. Jesse smiled kindly at her and gestured at the board as he ordered. Jesse was back to being the nice guy. The helpful guy who held doors open for people and was always willing to lend a helping hand. No one would believe that he had an explosive temper, one that could ignite without warning. Thinking of the hunger in his gaze as he pinned her to the bed made her clamp her legs together and slant them to the side as her core pulsed. He’d been ruthless yesterday. Determined. She was still having trouble believing it happened. There was no visible mark on her to prove it hadn’t been a bizarre figment of her imagination, but her mark on him was irrefutable proof of the intense battle they’d waged.

Jesse set his drink on the table and cocked his head to the side. “What?”

She bit her lip and gestured for him to sit before she reached out and gingerly touched his neck. She traced the mark, knowing he’d bled for it to still be there today.

“Did anyone say anything about your neck?”

“No.”

“There’s,” she swallowed nervously, “marks.”

He held her gaze as he rolled his shoulders. “That’s not the only one.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I deserved it.”

She flicked water droplets from her sweating can of iced tea. “It must hurt.”

“It was worth it.”

She looked away as her heart lurched into her throat.

“Vi.”

Reluctantly, she looked back at him.

“Have you heard from Tucker?”

She shook her head.

He nodded, apparently satisfied.

“I was thinking of texting him we’re over, but I’d rather talk to him in person.”

“He knows.”

“Still.”

Jesse opened his mouth to argue, but the cashier called his name. Violet shook her head as the girl fussed over him before handing over a bag with their food. As Jesse turned, he headed toward the door. Surprised, Violet got up and followed him.

“I thought we were going to eat here.”

“I know a better place,” he said.

She thought he was going to stay in the school’s vicinity. To her surprise, he drove quite a way before pulling into a deserted park.

“Where are we?”

“I come here to run on the trail.”

She frowned. “When do you come here?”

“During lunch or after school if you catch a ride home with someone. It’s out of the way, so it’s rarely crowded.”

“It’s nice,” she said as she handed over his massive burrito.

They ate in companionable silence, taking in the squirrels, birds, and a lone jogger that passed. When she finished her food, she tossed her trash in the plastic bag, sat back, and closed her eyes. She raised her face to the cool breeze that came through both of their open windows and let out a long sigh.

She thought her life had turned upside down, but what had really changed? She and Jesse were okay. She assessed the vibes in the car and detected nothing bad. There had been tension between them when she started dating, but now it was gone.

She had enjoyed Tucker, but wasn’t upset about breaking up with him, which reaffirmed that she had been scratching an itch that no longer existed. The only thing she’d lost was her innocence, and girls lost that every day. Not to their stepbrother, but there was no erasing that fact. It would never happen again, so there was no sense in bemoaning the series of unfortunate events that resulted in her and Jesse having sex. In retrospect, insisting that she knew what she wanted and that she was old enough to experiment had contributed to Jesse losing control. He hadn’t meant to go that far. Maybe he meant to teach her a lesson that had spiraled out of control?

“Vi.”

She turned toward his voice with her eyes still closed. The last thing she expected was to feel his lips on hers. Her eyes flew open, and she straightened in her seat.

“Jesse, what…?”

He brushed his mouth against hers lightly, teasingly. She blinked, befuddled and alarmed by the spurt of heat that shot through her body.

“Don’t think,” he said against her lips. “Just feel.”

“But…”

He cut her off as he covered her mouth with his. She didn’t have a chance to think. His lips on hers short-circuited her brain. The tingling numbness that came upon her during his midnight visits engulfed her. Jesse’s response to her paralysis was to deepen the kiss and replace the chill with scorching heat. She tried to mentally detach from what was happening, but the feelings he evoked wouldn’t allow it. They lured her in and bathed her in sensation. When she whimpered, he broke the kiss to nuzzle her affectionately.

“It’s okay, baby,” he cooed. “I’m not going to hurt you.”

She gripped his wrist as she tried to catch her breath. “I know that, but we can’t?—”

He brushed his thumb along the apple of her cheek. “There’s a time for denial and a time for acceptance.”

His spin on the scripture Dad had shared this morning made her heart skip.

“A time for restraint and a time to indulge.” Jesse kissed the corner of her mouth. “It’s our time, Violet. Stop thinking and feel .” He brushed his lips against hers. “Open your mouth.”

She parted her lips before she thought better of it. Jesse didn’t give her time to change her mind. He took advantage of her obedience and sank his tongue into her mouth before he clasped her nape and drew her over the console, ignoring the fluttering hand she placed on his chest.

He kissed her with an absorption that made everything else cease to exist. She was lost in a maelstrom of feeling. She had never experienced anything like it. There was tenderness, desire, and a desperate urgency that seeped from him to her.

There was no thought of consequences or right and wrong. There was only mounting desire and the overwhelming need to do something about it.

When Jesse finally drew away, she clutched at him because she felt like she was teetering on the edge of a precipice. It took her a second to remember where they were, since she’d completely lost touch with her surroundings.

Jesse searched her eyes and cupped her flushed cheek. “You feel it, don’t you?”

She swallowed hard, nodded. She thought she saw a flash of relief before he rested his forehead against hers.

“After school, I’ll take care of us, okay?”

When she didn’t respond, he tensed. He cupped her chin and searched her glazed eyes.

“After school,” he repeated, voice dropping as his temper ignited. “You with me?”

“Yes.”

He gave her a hard kiss before he pulled back. “Don’t think.”

As he turned the key in the ignition, she faced forward and dazedly fastened her seat belt. Thinking was beyond her at the moment.

Neither of them said a word as Jesse raced back to campus. They pulled into the parking lot as the second bell that signaled they should already be in class rang. As she bailed out and prepared to run to class, Jesse called, “Vi!”

She pivoted to face him.

“You with me?”

He had an odd look on his face she couldn’t interpret and didn’t have time to decipher because she was late.

“Yes,” she shouted, exasperated, before she took off.