Page 6

VIOLET

3 MONTHS LATER

“So, honey, have any boys caught your eye?”

Violet whipped her head around to make sure Dad wasn’t within earshot. She spotted him in the backyard, tossing a football with Jesse as they kept an eye on the grill.

“Mom!”

Lynne threw back her head and laughed. “Your father knows you’re going to date someday.”

“He literally told me a week ago, I can’t date until I’m thirty.”

“He’s kidding.”

“He isn’t,” Violet said flatly.

Lynne flicked a hand covered in flour. “I’ll take care of that for you.” She bobbed her brows. “So? Is there anyone you want to tell me about?”

“Not really.”

Lynne looked disappointed. “Really? When I was your age, I had a crush on a dozen boys.”

“I…” She carefully measured out the ingredients for one of three buttermilk pies they were making. “I’m just focused on school.”

“Huh.”

“What?” Violet said defensively.

“Not that I want this to happen,” Lynne drawled as she arranged her dough in the dish and began to pinch the edges. “But I was your age once. I keep expecting you and Jesse to rebel at some point, but you two are the most well-adjusted, strait-laced, responsible teenagers I’ve ever met. My friends are convinced we’ve either drugged you two or we’re hiding some dark family secret.” Lynne shrugged. “I tell them we’re just blessed to have such levelheaded kids.”

Violet fixed a smile on her face that she hoped concealed the way her stomach curdled. “We still have time to disappoint you. I have two more years of high school and Jesse… he might go nuts his senior year.”

Lynne glanced into the backyard with a proud smile on her face. “I doubt that.”

Violet turned on the mixer to stop any further conversation on the topic.

They’d just put their pies in the oven when Jesse and Dad came in with the meat they cooked on the grill. As she set the table, Dad spun Lynne and gave her a loud kiss. Once they were seated, she took Jesse’s hand on her left and Lynne’s on her right as they bowed their heads to pray. She tried to ignore the distracting brush of Jesse’s thumb stroking her skin as Dad blessed the meal.

“Lord, thank you for everything you’ve given us. Thank you for providing for us and blessing our family. Protect us as we begin a new week. Give us wisdom and strength to see us through. Amen,” Dad said.

“Amen,” they said in unison.

It was a lazy Sunday evening with delicious food and stimulating conversation. They discussed Pastor Sonny’s message at church that day in length before they moved onto what was going on in the community and their schedules for the week. Dad and Jesse were too impatient to let the buttermilk pies cool properly. They each dug into their own, while she and Lynne were satisfied with a slice. Dad had to turn in since he had such an early shift.

When Lynne yawned, Violet offered to clean up. Lynne gave her a grateful smile as she and Dad headed down the hall with their arms around each other.

Violet eyed Jesse’s pie, which was more than half gone. “You aren’t going to eat it all in one sitting, are you?”

“I could.”

“Don’t,” she warned. “Because Mom will come after you with a knife if you scarf down our pie, too.”

“You wouldn’t tell her it was me, would you?”

“I would,” she said, tipping her nose in the air as she carried dishes to the sink.

“You’re heartless. You know this is my favorite,” Jesse said as he gathered the rest of the plates and piled them in the sink.

“Maybe you should have pie instead of a cake for your birthday this year.”

He froze. “Give up German chocolate cake?”

She crossed her arms over her chest. “What’s it gonna be?”

“Can’t I have both?”

She tilted her head to the side as she considered. “I could bake for your birthday instead of buying you stuff you never use.”

“I use what you give me.”

“You used that nice shirt once .”

“Because I outgrew it within six months.”

“And the cologne?”

He shrugged. “I sweat too much. It doesn’t last.”

She took in the sweat stains on his shirt that clung to his athletic physique and wrinkled her nose. “I can finish up here. You should shower.”

He spread his arms wide. “Can I get a hug first?”

She held her hands up as she backed away. “No! Stay back!”

“I just want to thank you for making my favorite pie.”

“You just did,” she pointed out. “There’s no need to touch me.”

He moved swiftly, but so did she. She ran to the living room and put the couch between them.

“Jesse.” She tried to sound stern, but a nervous laugh escaped. “Don’t.”

His speed never failed to shock her. When he darted around the couch, she let out a panicked yelp. He picked her up and pinned her on the couch.

“I’m going to tell Dad!” she yelled into his chest.

“Promise me you’ll make me cake and pie for my birthday, then I’ll let you go.”

“No!”

He put more of his weight on her, sinking her into the cushions.

“Fine, I promise!” she croaked.

He sat up and grinned down at her. “You’re so easy.”

She glowered and made a show of smelling herself, even though his scent wasn’t as repulsive as it should be. “I’m going to get you back for that.”

He climbed off her, stripped off his shirt, and draped it over his shoulder. “Looking forward to it.”

As he strolled away, she lay there for a second, before she gave herself a shake. She’d seen Jesse shirtless countless times during practice, while camping, exercising, or at the beach. There was no reason for the sight of his naked torso to make her stomach jitter.

She stored the leftovers in the fridge, cleaned the kitchen, and washed the dishes. By the time she entered her bedroom, Jesse was out of the shower. She grabbed her pajamas and did the double knock on the bathroom door to make sure the coast was clear. When she didn’t get an answer, she entered and eyed Jesse’s door as she stripped.

After her shower, she put on lotion before she brushed her teeth and re-entered her bedroom. She sat at her desk and worked on an essay that was due on Friday, before she double-checked her backpack to make sure she had all her homework assignments for tomorrow.

With just one month of school left, projects were coming to a close. There was a flurry of tests and then they would be on summer break. The year had passed in a blur. Next year she would be a junior. She couldn’t wait! This year she’d been Student Body Secretary. Maybe next year she could be Student Body President? Would her peers vote her in? There was only one way to find out. Dad hadn’t let her attend prom this year. Maybe Mom could talk him into letting her go next year?

My friends are convinced we’ve either drugged you two or we’re hiding some dark family secret.

Lynne’s voice echoed in her mind as she climbed in bed and pulled the covers up to her chin. From the outside looking in, she knew that they looked like the perfect blended family. They attended church every Sunday, Mom and Dad were happy and in love, and she and Jesse were as close as blood siblings. Jesse got a lot of attention for being a star athlete and was a great student on top of that. They both were. Everything was perfect. Or, it had been before she discovered Jesse’s nighttime habit.

By day, Jesse was an honorable Boy Scout. He never touched her inappropriately. He never even looked at her in a way that made her uncomfortable. He seemed as open and loving as he’d always been. When she looked into his eyes, there was nothing deceptive, lecherous, or evil. She couldn’t make sense of it.

The visits were sporadic. Sometimes days would pass without incident, allowing her to believe it was a thing of the past, only to be roused in the middle of the night by the sound of him jerking off.

She tried to go to bed early, hoping she would be too deeply asleep to hear him come in. But the stress of wondering if tonight would be one of those nights kept her wide awake. She considered locking the bathroom door to bar him from her room, but then he’d know she knew. And, for some reason she couldn’t fathom, that was worse than enduring the deed.

The sounds of him masturbating were burned into her brain. She knew from the rhythm of his strokes and breathing patterns when he was close to climax. She catalogued every sigh, moan, or grunt. Some nights, he came immediately. During others, he struggled. Those were the worst because ten minutes felt like an hour when she was playing dead.

He was becoming bolder. He went from spilling on her sheets to now coming on her face. It took every ounce of control she possessed not to react. She was terrified that one day, she would flinch, open her eyes, or say something.

Initially, it seemed Jesse regulated himself to once or twice a week. Now, that amount had doubled. He was also becoming more impatient. One night, she’d barely been in bed for fifteen minutes before he came in. And he wasn’t as quiet as he used to be. She had always been a sound sleeper, but not that sound. He couldn’t be trying to wake her, could he?

Even if she was truly ignorant to his nighttime shenanigans, at some point she would have questioned why she woke with stuff caked in her hair or had sticky, flaky patches on her skin. What if she’d naively asked Lynne about the stains on her bedsheets? She moaned into her pillow.

If only he would stop, then everything could go back to normal, and she wouldn’t feel… Her legs clamped together as her core pulsed. It was humiliating and revolting, but somewhere along the way, her body began to react to the nightly ritual. Most nights, after he left, she had to…

She balled her hands into fists as self-loathing swamped her. It was all his fault. Before this, she rarely thought about sex. She never explored her body or tried to figure out how things worked. Because of him, she now knew what a man’s penis looked like and what cum tasted like. One night, she’d gotten so aroused that she humped her stuffed longhorn. The next day, she washed him, but she didn’t look at him the same and suspected the feeling was mutual.

It was so confusing to feel one way and have her body react in another. To overcome the excruciating shame and guilt, she rationalized that what happened during these interludes didn’t count. That went for Jesse as well. The creeper who slipped into her room and did perverted, wicked things was a totally different person from her beloved brother. Once the sun rose, the dark, degenerate entity that possessed him at night evaporated and wiped the slate clean.

An hour passed. She lay on her stomach, a little rebellion on her part. When another hour crawled by, relief mixed with irritation. She wished he had a predictable schedule, but the times and days varied, so there was no way to predict anything. As another twenty minutes inched by, she concluded that Jesse had conquered his demons for the night, which left hers to deal with.

She flipped onto her back and slid her hand down her primed body. She rubbed herself through her pajama shorts and underwear. An image of his body that he’d casually revealed in the living room appeared in her mind, along with the memory of his weight pinning her to the couch. She bit back a moan as she arched her hips into her hand.

As pangs of conscience smothered her sexual desire, she tried to replace Jesse’s face with another boy, as if that would make it less sinful. But it was impossible to picture anyone else when Jesse had awakened her libido. Her passions now revolved around him.

All the things her friends found attractive about him, she found herself inspecting for herself. The lips they thought were perfect, she’d seen him bite during orgasm. His athletic build gave him a body that didn’t need to be covered up. She didn’t know why he insisted on wearing a shirt during his visits. She wanted to see his body in its entirety and hated how often she harped on that detail.

She was terrified her friends could read her dirty mind and sense that she’d changed. But, like their parents, her friends seemed oblivious to any undercurrents between them. But why should they pick up on anything when she couldn’t? Jesse treated her the same as he always had. There was no trace of the desperate hunger that brought him to her night after night. It was unsettling and made her question her sanity. She wished she could confide in someone about what was happening to her, but she didn’t dare.

As she approached the finish line, her toes curled. As she prepared for take-off, movement off to her left made her freeze. The bathroom door swung open, and Jesse’s familiar shadow appeared before she could retract her hand. She closed her eyes and hoped the comforter looked like it was merely bunched over her crotch so he wouldn’t realize what she’d been doing.

He stood over her for a moment before he leaned down and inhaled. This was another part of the ritual, but tonight it sent a streak of panic through her. He couldn’t smell her arousal, could he? She died a thousand deaths as he took another, longer inhale. Just get on with it , she silently screamed.

“Shit,” he whispered.

Her eyelids flickered. She was shocked by his curse and the fact he’d actually spoken. Normally, all she heard were muffled, involuntary sounds, but hearing his voice tore the seams between this alternate reality and real life.

The wet sound of him stroking himself made her clench her teeth. It was the worst punishment to act like a lifeless doll when she was so close. Why had she wasted so much time wrestling with herself? She could have come and been asleep hours ago. Then, she wouldn’t have to listen to the sounds he was making that made the space between her legs so slippery she may need to change her bedding.

Jesse’s stifled moan unraveled her shaky control. She pressed on her clit, but it wasn’t enough. She needed that back-and-forth motion. Jesse wouldn’t notice, would he? He was focused on his own needs, and he was making enough noise that she knew he was close too. Moving as little as possible, she began to rub and was rewarded with a delicious wave of prickling heat. She sucked in a breath and heard Jesse do the same. She found herself matching Jesse’s strokes. This was wrong on so many levels, but she was past the point of caring. Her heart soared. This was going to be the best orgasm she’d ever had.

“Violet.”

She obeyed without thinking. Her eyes popped open and collided with Jesse’s, which were dark, glittering pools. As always, he wore his shirt, and his cock jutted beneath it. He was close. She could tell from the way he was jerking on the head of his penis.

As she realized they were staring at one another, and they’d broken their unspoken pact, a bolt of heat lanced through her. Her climax bubbled up. She gasped for breath as her eyes began to roll.

“Shit,” she heard again.

When the head of his cock touched her lips, they instinctively parted, allowing him to spill into her mouth, while remnants dribbled down her chin and cheek. Even in the midst of her orgasm, his gut-wrenching groan freaked her out. Their parents were going to hear!

As the hot euphoria of her climax faded, cold horror came charging in. She lay there, trying to control her breathing as her heart hammered so hard in her chest that she trembled from the force of it. Not wanting to face the consequences of her actions, she went motionless again, like a stupid animal who’d made a foolish move and hoped they would blend back in with their surroundings before the hunter took its shot.

Jesse didn’t move for several minutes. Neither did she. She didn’t even swallow, she was so determined for him to believe her looking at him had been a figment of his imagination. She willed him to walk away and continue the pretense.

She was so attuned to him, she sensed the moment he moved, even though he didn’t make a sound. There was a light snick of the bathroom door closing. Jesse didn’t wash his hands or use the toilet but went straight through to his bedroom and closed that door too. Everything went still and quiet and tranquil, as if what just took place between them never happened.

She finally swallowed. Was it her imagination, or was his cum sweeter? Was it because of the buttermilk pie? Dismayed over her thoughts, she sat up and feverishly scrubbed her face to remove all traces of him. The urge to shower and gargle with mouthwash was overwhelming, but the bathroom was neutral territory. Why did she have a feeling, if she went in there, he would try to talk to her? She would die if he did.

She rushed over to her drawer and got a new set of underwear and pajamas and tossed her ruined ones into the hamper. When she climbed back into bed, she huddled under the covers and writhed in anguish.

Her worst fears came true. Jesse’s secret—now, their secret—was out in the open. She allowed herself to be enticed into participating in his twisted fantasy, which had abruptly transitioned into something else. Something terrifying. Something that could never be. This is what happened when she let her body make stupid decisions! This wasn’t her and it wasn’t him. They were good kids, Christian kids. This went against everything they believed in. What were they doing?

Tomorrow, she would put a stop to this. What was done in the dark had to stay there. She wouldn’t allow it to see the light of day and change their relationship.