Page 48 of Cloudless

HAPPY OR SAD

LILA

I groan as I straighten from my position on the floor. “I know I brought them in the house. It’s not like a package of paper plates can just get up and walk away.” Items shift and fall in the cabinet as I close the door. That’s a later problem.

Ellie’s head disappears into the cabinet across from me, where she digs through our pots and pans. “How would you know?”

A crease forms between my brows as my footsteps stall in the middle of the kitchen. “Ummm, because I’ve never seen one get up and walk around. Have you?”

She blows a strand of loose hair out of her face as she pops her head out of the cabinet. “No, but that means nothing. They could move around behind our backs for all we know.”

Rubber squeaks against the hardwood as hurried footsteps sound from the hall. “Found them!” Dax’s rosy cheeks expand and contract as he leans against the counter to catch his breath. “They were in the bathroom for some reason. Do you need me for anything else, or can I get back to the grill?”

A smile takes over my face as he relinquishes the bag of paper plates into my custody. “Thank you! I have no idea how they ended up in there.” The plastic stretches under my fingers as I move through the kitchen. “You can go on out. Kam and the twins should be here any minute.”

A wave of voices flows through the open door before finally disappearing into a distant hum as Dax closes the backdoor behind him.

A satisfying crunch comes from Ellie as she pops a chip in her mouth. “Do you think he realizes the guys volunteered him to help with the search just so they could get him away from the grill?”

I watch through the kitchen window as Dax comes to a stop next to Mace and Wyatt. “I doubt it.”

Blurs of various colors run by the window as Jasper and Posey’s friends play with a ball they found behind one of the flowerpots.

Parents twice my age occupy the tables the guys set up around the yard this morning. The vast age difference just further adds to the feeling of being an imposter in my own home.

Their judgmental eyes roam around the yard that should have two other people in it. Two very important people.

Ellie’s voice pulls me from thoughts of what could have been. “Are you expecting anyone else?”

I clear my throat as I unwrap the plates and set them at the front of the line for dinner. “Just my grandparents, I think. There was one kid in their class who got the stomach flu. Thankfully, the parents have enough sense to not bring them, anyway.”

Her eyebrows raise, and she pauses with a chip halfway to her mouth. “That’s a thing? Parents will bring kids knowing they’re sick?”

I nod my head as I stand back to look at everything laid out on the counter. “Oh, yeah. Isn’t that stupid?”

With the sound of the doorbell, a stone settles in my stomach. My heartbeat thumps with a painful beat in my chest as my eyes connect with Ellie’s.

I take deep, soothing breaths as my socks glide along the floor. The cool metal of the doorknob meets my palm far too soon as I shake the tension from my shoulders.

My smile, which felt so easy before, now feels like a chore as I open the door. “Good evening. I’m glad you could make it.”

Victoria’s lips twist into an ugly snarl as she peers behind me with calculating eyes. “Yes, well, are you going to invite us in?”

I stare at them in stunned silence for approximately two seconds before my brain comes back online and I move out of the doorway. A cloud of perfume fills my lungs as they walk by. My lungs beg for a chance to cough that I refuse to indulge as I follow behind them like a lost puppy.

Their dress shoes click against the floor as they follow the voices through the house. Victoria’s dress is so stiff and constricting that the fabric doesn’t move as she walks.

I narrowly prevent myself from falling into Maxwell's back when they stop abruptly in the kitchen. I peer around his shoulder to find Ellie in a stare-off with Victoria. Ellie’s legs dangle from her spot on the kitchen counter as she clutches a bag of salt and vinegar chips to her chest like you would a baby.

Ellie gives them a little wave with her crumbly fingers as she speaks around the chip she just stuffed in her mouth.

“Hi, I’m Ellie.” Her bare feet thunk against the floor as she slides from the counter.

Her hand glides along her jeans as she wipes the chip crumbs on the fabric before extending her hand for a handshake. “It’s nice to meet you.”

The two strangers in my kitchen eye Ellie’s hand like it’s a snake.

Victoria’s nose scrunches for the second time in as many minutes.

“It’s nice to meet you, Ellie.” It seems Victoria is the only one capable of speaking today.

Her crystal blue eyes turn to me as she dismisses Ellie.

“Where are the twins? We would like to give them their presents before we have to leave.”

Ellie’s eyebrows disappear into her hairline as her eyes turn to me. She mouths, What the hell?

I shrug as I turn my full attention to my grandmother. “They’ll be here soon. Kam and Jasper went to pick Posey up from her ballet class.” I tilt my head to the side. “And what do you mean, leave? You won't be staying?”

Maxwell clasps his hands at the small of his back as he looks around my kitchen. “No, we have a business dinner to attend this evening.” Ah, he speaks.

“Oh, um.” Am I happy about this or sad? Happy, definitely happy. “That’s too bad. I'm sure Jasper and Posey will be disappointed that you can't stay.”

They will be disappointed, right? That seems like a question I should know the answer to.

The familiar creak of the front door reaches us in the kitchen as the sound of two sets of feet running on hardwood grows closer. An easy smile blooms on my face as their voices rise. “Lulu!”

Jasper nearly trips Posey in his haste to get to me. His eyes are wide as he pulls on the hem of my shirt. “Guess what happened!”

I raise my brows as I sink to my knees in front of him. “What happened?”

His chest rises and falls in quick succession as he tries to catch his breath. Posey’s excited voice fills my ears as she wiggles next to Jasper so they’re both standing in front of me. “Molly asked Kam on a date!”

My eyebrows raise even further as I fight the laugh threatening to break free. “Oh, she did?”

They nod their heads in tandem as heavy footsteps grow closer.

“She did not! Don’t exaggerate, you two.

” His eyes shine as bright as his smile as he comes around the corner to stand in the crowded kitchen.

“She wanted to take me on a tour of the studio. That’s not a date.

Miss Emma is the one who asked me on a date.

” His brow raises as he sends a smirk barreling toward me at full force. “I politely declined, by the way.”

Victoria’s voice doesn’t hold an ounce of the humor the rest of us are trying to keep from our faces. “Ah, so you’re the football player.”

Kam’s features relax into an effortless smile as his eyes zero in on my grandparents. “Um, hockey player, actually.” He extends a hand that I’m surprised Maxwell takes. “It’s a pleasure to meet you two.”

Maxwell angles his head to where he is looking down his nose at the hockey player who has at least five inches on him. “You’re the one who picked up our granddaughter from ballet?”

Kam nods his head as his smile grows. “Yep! Today was my first time, actually.”

Kam’s smile falls as Maxwell turns his attention to me. I don’t miss the way he wipes the hand Kam just shook on his jacket. “I find it very interesting you would allow someone outside this family to wield that power.”

I scrunch my brows as I take a step in front of Kam. The need to physically block him and the two kids at his side from danger is overwhelming. “I, uh, I don’t know what you mean. I don’t see a problem with that. Kam is great with the kids.”

Maxwell focuses his icy stare over my shoulder as Kam’s hand settles on my hip. Victoria’s head tilts ever so slightly before her eyes flick to mine.

Kam’s fingers dig into my shirt as he pulls me back to his side. He seems to grow another four inches right before my eyes.

Victoria tilts her head back as she eyes Kam. “He might be great with the kids in public, but you don’t know what he’s like when he’s alone with them.”

Kam jerks back like her words are bullets. His face falls as he rubs at a wound in his chest that’s not visible to the naked eye.

My blood boils just under my skin as I grind my teeth to keep my mouth shut. I hear Ellie’s footsteps move toward us from her place in the back of the room. I know if I had the will to look away from my grandparents, I would see fire in her eyes that matches my own.

Her steps come to a sudden halt as Kam steps in front of her to stop her advance. Thankfully, we can’t hear the words she grumbles under her breath.

I take a deep breath to calm the fire within me before I clear my throat. “I trust Kam to be around the kids. That’s all I’m going to say about your accusation.” I force a smile onto my face as I turn to my siblings, who are cowering behind me. “Now, who’s ready for some hot dogs?”

Their weary eyes glance over my shoulder before looking at Kam next to me. Whatever they see on his face must give them the courage they need to nod.

A relieved breath leaves my lips. “Great!” I turn to a red-faced Ellie. “Can you let everyone know it’s time for dinner? Take the twins with you. I’m sure they would love to see their friends.”

Her nod is choppy and her movements are rigid as she leaves the kitchen with a last glance at her brother. The twins follow silently in her shadow.

I fasten my smile tightly to my face as I turn to my grandparents. “It’s a shame you can’t stay for dinner. You can give the twins their gift another time. Maybe when things aren’t as hectic.”

A hard edge shines in their eyes as they exchange a look that they both seem to understand. Maxwell is the one who breaks the silence. He clears his throat as he straightens his jacket. “The gift can wait. Have a pleasant evening.”

The loose hairs that escaped my ponytail blow in the breeze they create as they leave the room. Kam and I don’t move until the front door clicks shut behind them.

I slowly lift my eyes to find devastation on his face. I allow the fire to shine through my voice as I pull on the collar of his shirt until we’re eye level. “Don’t you dare waste a second of your time worrying about the nasty things that come out of their mouths. They’re not worth the heartache.”

His voice cracks as he grabs the fabric of the back of my sweatshirt. “They gutted me, Sunshine. They cut me deeper than I thought possible with simple words.”

A breath stutters out of me as our foreheads meet. “Don’t give them the satisfaction of bleeding, Trouble.”

When his eyes meet mine, and I see the pain written in his irises, I know without a doubt that Kamden Stryker can be trusted.

With my brother and sister.

With our safety.

And with my heart.

LILA’S JOURNAL

Hi, Mom

I know I talked to you yesterday, but today was a big day.

The twins turned eight today. I wish you could have been there to see them playing with all the friends you were so worried about them making when we moved here.

Posey’s getting into makeup now. I have no idea what I’m going to do with all the makeup she got today, or all the signed hockey gear Jasper now has scattered around his room.

Posey’s ballet recital is coming up. She’s so excited to get on stage and “shake it like I mean it!” Her words, not mine. Well, if we’re being honest, they’re probably Ellie’s words.

I wish you could have seen the cake Mace made for the birthday party. It was half makeup, and half hockey themed.

Oh, I forgot to tell you, Kam fixed the mailbox lid while he was putting together the twins’ swing set yesterday. I didn’t even know about it until I checked the mail this morning. That crazy man.

The countdown is officially on for the court date. When Judge Harris told me six months, I thought that day would never come. It’s hard to believe it’s been that long since you’ve been gone.

Anyway, I’m going to get to bed. Keeping up with twelve second graders and four overgrown hockey players is exhausting.

Love you, Mom.

Lila