Page 38 of Cloudless

DREAMING OF CHOCOLATE EYES

LILA

I dream of a secret place filled with beautiful sunsets and large, gentle creatures.

I dream of a hockey rink filled with red and white and a warmth that takes my breath away despite the icy chill in the air.

I dream of chocolate eyes that make me feel safe and whole.

Voices filter through my mind on distant waves as dreams fade in and out of focus. I yearn to move closer to the gentle voice that speaks of sunshine, but no matter how hard I try, that voice is always just out of reach.

A bee sting on my arm pulls me from my dream as the voice grows closer. “And you’re sure that’s all we need to do?”

I want to call out to the owner of that voice and beg them to stay forever. But I don’t get the chance. I’m yanked back into the darkness to dream about a house full of laughter and revving engines.

“I think she’s waking up.”

Warmth connects with my hand as fingers intertwine with mine. “Come on, Sunshine. Open your eyes.”

My eyes refuse to follow his command as more voices grow closer. “Is she going to wake up?”

Fingers tighten against mine. “Yeah, Tank. She’s going to be okay. Her body just needs to rest.”

Little warm fingers find my other hand. “You can wake up now, Lulu. I even cleaned my room, so you would be extra happy when you woke up.”

“Alright, Tank. Dax and Wyatt are here to help with your homework. Why don’t you go help them get set up in the dining room?”

“Will you let me know when she wakes up?”

“Of course I will.”

Footsteps fade as I fight against my stubborn eyelids.

Warmth runs over my forehead. “Wake up.”

My throat is scratchy and the sudden need to pee hits me so hard I nearly levitate off the bed.

I win the battle and open my blurry eyes to a familiar ceiling. Chocolate eyes come into view as I groan, “What happened?”

Relief floods Kam’s face as his fingers tighten in mine. “You haven't been taking very good care of yourself, Sunshine.”

My brows furrow as I try and fail to sit up. “What do you mean?”

“He means you’ve been so focused on taking care of everyone else that you forgot to drink water, you silly fucker.” Ellie’s tight eyes connect with mine from the doorway as she folds her arms over her chest. “You scared us half to death, L. What were you thinking?”

“I, uh, I guess I wasn’t.”

Kam tugs on my hand to get my attention. “All that matters now is that you’re doing better, and this will not happen again. Isn’t that right?”

Tears fill my eyes as the gravity of the situation falls on my chest at full force. “I didn’t mean to, guys. I swear. I’ve just been so preoccupied lately.”

Tears rim Ellie’s eyes as she steps into my room. “Well, that changes today. Kam already ordered three different water bottles for you to pick from. No more excuses.”

A tired smile pulls at my lips before panic slides down my spine like ice. “What time is it?”

Kam glances down at his phone. “It’s almost seven.”

My eyes nearly bug out of my skull. “ PM?”

His nod has me struggling to swing my legs out of bed. Firm hands push me back into the mattress as a no-nonsense look takes over his face. “And where do you think you’re going?”

I huff out an annoyed breath as I stop fighting against him. “I need to get ready. The social worker will be here any minute. We have a meeting scheduled for tonight at seven. I’ve already missed taking the twins to school today. I don’t think missing a meeting would look good on my record.”

Kam crosses his arms as he settles back in the seat next to my bed that was not there when I went to sleep last night.

“First, the twins made it to school. They were about an hour late, but they made it.” My eyebrows fly up in disbelief.

“Second, I’ve already called the social worker.

Posey told me about the meeting tonight.

We rescheduled it for next week. Mrs. Jones said for me to tell you she hopes you feel better.

She thinks you have the flu, by the way. ”

I try to keep the skepticism from my eyes. “Just like that?” I lick my dry lips.” But—But what about dinner?”

The bed dips as Ellie sits on the edge across from her brother. “Mace just dropped off chicken parmesan.” Her eyes light up with excitement. “And get this! Posey ate an entire plate full of it!”

My mouth drops to the floor. “What? How did you manage that?”

She shrugs like it’s not a battle I’ve fought every day for the past few years. “She asked for it. Said Mace’s cooking isn’t gross.”

“What about their homework? They have a math test tomorrow.”

A smile lights Kam’s eyes as he leans his elbows on his knees. “Dax and Wyatt are taking care of it. Don’t worry.”

I blow out a relieved breath that takes all the tension in my shoulders with it. “Thank you guys so much. I really don’t know what I would do without all of you.”

Ellie squeezes my shoulder as she stands. “You’ll never have to find out.” A smile pulls at her lips. “I’m going to go put the leftovers in the fridge and let the twins know you're awake. They’ve been worried sick, so prepare for lots of cuddles.”

My eyes roam over Kam’s exhausted face as she leaves the room. “How did you know I was sick?”

He slips his hands in mine as a crease forms between his brows. “Jasper called me this morning when he couldn’t wake you. He nearly scared me half to death.” His eyes turn pleading. “ Never do this to me again.”

I nod as I tighten my fingers around his.

“I’ll do better.” My arm feels like lead as I try to lift it to his messy curls.

A sharp pull on my arm halts my movements.

I look down and follow the clear tube attached to my arm to an IV set up next to my bed.

“How in the world did you get an IV set up without taking me to the hospital?”

A blush crawls up his cheeks as he rubs his thumb over the back of my hand. “Coach’s wife is a nurse. She came right over when I called this morning.”

“Lulu! You’re awake!” A splitting smile blooms on my face as my brother and sister race into the room. Jasper’s voice still holds a hint of fear I will regret putting there for the rest of my life. “We were so worried when you wouldn’t wake up.”

They crawl onto my bed with a gentleness I’ve never seen from them before as I pull them close. “I’m sorry I worried you. I’m going to take much better care of myself from now on.”

My eyes find Kam’s as they settle against my chest like they did when they were only a few months old, and Mom and Dad would put on a movie for us all to watch.

The smile on his face can’t hide the dark circles under his eyes that weren't there last night.

I’m realizing that if I want to take care of the people I care about, I need to take care of myself first.

I mouth thank you to Kam as I snuggle back into the blankets. His answering wink ignites butterflies in my belly that I’m not sure will ever go away when I’m around this man.

I’m not sure I want them to.