Page 46 of Cloudless

CHOCOLATE SNOB

KAM

I wipe my palms on my pants as the sound of car doors closing reaches the backyard. Lila’s eyes sparkle with the reflection of the first embers of a bonfire as a smile takes over her face. “Don’t be nervous. They’re going to love it.”

Sparks fly into the air as Wyatt drops another log on the fire with a thunk. “Don’t worry, Cap. It’s a great birthday present.”

The significance of his words isn’t lost on me like they are the others. The two of us spent many birthdays together on the ice, with our only gifts being harsh words from our fathers.

When I got old enough to realize that’s not the norm, I vowed that if I ever had kids, they would never know the pain of feeling like a game meant more than their happiness.

I know the twins aren’t mine, but they sure as hell feel like they’re supposed to be.

I hear the moment they see their gift. Their sharp intakes of breath cascade through the yard as their footsteps come to a sudden halt.

I look up in time to watch the awe transform their faces to what I imagine they would look like on Christmas morning.

The sight of their smiles and wide eyes burrows its way into my heart, where it will live for the rest of my life.

They bounce on the balls of their feet as they take in every feature of the structure I spent way too long picking out.

The excitement that radiates from them in waves compels me to move closer so I might bask in their joy. The warmth from the fire fades from my back as Lila’s fingers dig into my sweatshirt to replace the warmth she’s no longer getting from the fire.

My smile grows with every step I take toward them. “Happy birthday, guys!”

Confusion pulls at Posey’s brows as Jasper vibrates next to her. “Our birthday isn’t until tomorrow.”

Ellie laughs as she comes around the side of the house with an arm full of grocery bags.

“We wanted you to have your present early, Posey-Pop!” The plastic bags crinkle as she drops them by her feet.

Her smile never wavers, even as she rubs the redness from the bags digging into her arms. “What are you waiting for?

Go check out your new gift while we get the s'mores ready!”

Twilight descends around us as they race toward their gift. They leave a trail of laughter in their wake as I add motion detection lights for the backyard to my to-do list.

Mace points an accusatory finger at my sister as he races to catch up with the twins. “You better have gotten the good stuff, Ellie. No more of this cheap, barely considered chocolate.”

Ellie rolls her eyes even though Mace has already turned his back to her. “Of course I did. You’ve made me a chocolate snob, Mace. I’ll never forgive you for it.”

Mace’s laughter mixes with the giggles flowing from the twins as they explore their new domain. “I can live with that!”

The last time I saw Lila bathed in firelight, all I wanted to do was kiss her. To claim her as mine for all the world to see.

Now, as I watch the light dance over her face, the reality that I can just reach over and kiss her anytime I want hits me like a freight train. And I’ve never been one to waste an opportunity.

Jasper and Posey’s giggles mixing with the laughter of our friends drifts through the wind. The gentle sway of the swings and an occasional scuff of a shoe against the slide fades into the background as my eyes trace the outline of Lila’s lips.

I anchor my hand at the back of her neck as a surprised gasp leaves her lips with the contact of my heated skin. Her soft lips mold to mine as I fight the groan threatening to rise in my throat.

My need to deepen the kiss is overwritten by the awareness of our audience. The chill in the air isn’t the cause of the chill bumps that flow over my skin as I end the kiss far too soon.

The back of my throat burns as I suck in a deep lungful of cool air.

Her eyes roam over my face as embers from the fire ascend into the darkness to be swallowed by the stars. “What was that for?”

Her hair falls through my fingers like silk as I release her neck. “I just wanted to kiss my girl.” I raise my brows as a smirk pulls at my lips. “That alright with you?”

She mirrors my smile as she drifts closer on the blanket we’ve claimed next to the fire. “It’s perfect.”

The warmth from her cheek seeps through my clothes as she settles her cheek on my shoulder to watch the flames dance to their own beat in front of us.

The cracks in a log near the bottom of the pile glow red and orange with the flames that infiltrate its core. An unexpected sense of camaraderie fills me as I watch the log grow weaker until it finally releases its hold and gives in to the crushing weight of the logs above it.

When this semester started, the weight of my father’s legacy felt as consuming as the weight of the logs. The expectations forced upon me since before I could walk felt like flames dancing in my core.

Now, with the intensity of Lila’s light and the strength of her heart, she dims the burn of my father’s legacy. She lessens the toll of the expectations that have always seemed so crushing, despite my constant fight against them.

For the first time since I slipped a pair of ice skates on my feet, I feel like I can take my first full breath.

Like my lungs aren’t fighting against the crushing force of the circumstances thrust upon me.

Like the only thing expected of me at this moment is to be here with these people. With my people.

The burn and the toll are still there, but they don’t seem as important now. Especially not compared to the girl resting her cheek on my shoulder, and the two little kids playing on their swing set.