Page 28 of Chasing My Bliss (Behind The Lens #6)

Ezra

F uck, Fuck, Fuck.

I can hear her breathing behind me as we head back to the living room. Her showing up here was not in my plans tonight. But taking Felicity from her house wasn’t exactly a smart decision, either. It was made out of insane rage with very little attention to the details.

Leaving her car there was a mistake. It was a flawed plan. If I hadn’t been so irrational I would’ve taken my car to the mall, then gotten a ride to her house. Once there, I could’ve taken her car and switched them later. Once I had Felicity carefully restrained.

Her roommate knew she was coming over here to talk to me. One stupid mistake and now look where we are. This relationship destroying whore wants to fight for Felicity. To share her.

“Do you want something to drink?” I ask her, not even remembering if I’ve done it already.

“No. I just want us to work this out, so when she wakes up we can tell her.”

I sigh heavily. She may be about to discuss the love of my life freely, but I’m going to need alcohol.

“I’ll meet you in the living room.” My feet move toward the kitchen, straight over to the cabinet that I keep all my liquor in. There’s only one drink on my mind. Jack.

Bottle in hand I turn to head to the living room, then stop. I turn back around and get two glasses, just in case Roxy changes her mind.

I sit down in the chair at the end of the couch, diagonal from Roxy, and place the bottle of Jack and glasses on the table. Roxy nor I say a word to each other. Instead, I pour us each a glass, picking mine up and down the contents in one swallow, before pouring more.

Finally, not wanting to waste anymore time, I break the silence.

“This is insane,” I bark at her. “You know that, right? Sharing her like she’s a fucking toy.”

“I wouldn’t call it insane. Progressive is more the word I would choose. The idea of multiple partners in a relationship is unconventional, but it doesn’t mean it isn’t right.” She says smugly.

“But why suggest it? What makes you think she’d even want a relationship like that?’

She meets my gaze, her shoulders squared as she speaks. “Because I know she loves you and wants to be with you. But she has strong feelings for me too. It may not be the same level of love she has for you, but we are still new.”

“You did a fucking video and calendar shoot. How can your feelings grow from that?” I ask as I pick up the glass and swallow the dark, bitter liquor. Slamming the glass down on the table before taking the one I poured for her and drinking it as well.

“Yeah, we did the calendar shoot. But before that we spent time getting to know each other. She lives with me so we’ve spent a lot of time together, especially with you giving her the cold shoulder." She pauses, the corners of her lips turning up in a smirk. “And we’ve fucked. Again.”

I have to take a deep breath to calm myself. Thinking of Felicity being with anyone else has me angry.

“Ezra, I know you love her and she loves you. That doesn’t mean she doesn’t have enough love for someone else. We can work together to make sure she never doubts our feelings for her. When one of us isn’t available, then the other one is. It’s a win-win situation.”

“You think she’d go for it?” I ask, almost in a whisper. “Going between the two of us like she’s some kind of prize. As if she’s an object and not a person.”

She shakes her head, glaring at me with a mix of annoyance and hatred. “That’s not what I meant, and you know it.”

“No?” I blurt “Then what do you mean, Roxy? Because to me that’s what it sounds like.

You claim you love her. I know I do. And she.

..” I break off, running a hand through my hair, pulling at the ends in frustration.

“She doesn’t know what the hell she wants.

Or maybe she does, and she just doesn’t want to hurt either of us. ”

She scoots to the edge of the couch, leaning forward, taking the bottle of Jack and refilling our glasses.

“See, that's where you’re wrong. Felicity does know what she wants, and that’s both of us, Ezra.

If you hadn’t ignored her, then you’d see it.

You’d know that being with the both of us is what she’d want. ”

I can’t help but snort. This woman can’t be for real. “Are you really saying she’s in love with both of us?”

“Yes. And I’m saying maybe we should get over our pride and insecurities and get to know each other. Because it’s going to be all or nothing for Felicity. Me, I’d rather share her then not have her in my life. I bet you feel the same way.”

We sit in silence. Neither of us daring to speak. Roxy picks up her glass, scooting back on the couch and sips at the brown liquid.

Can I do what she’s suggesting? I’m a jealous man. And I don’t like sharing her with anyone. Doing the streaming shows is one thing. It’s more of an illusion. There’s no contact, no feelings between her and the people watching. This would be different.

“You’re serious about how you feel. It’s not just some fleeting obsession with her.” I need to know that being with Felicity isn’t just some novelty for her.

“I am.”

“And what—how do we do it? Do we just take turns? Schedule our time with her? You get Mondays, I get Thursdays?” The sarcasm evident in my voice.

“No schedules,” she says. “No rules. Just… trust. Communication. And boundaries. She lives with me, so that’s an issue we’ll have to discuss together, the three of us. Because I know you want her living with you as well. ”

I let out a bitter laugh and turn my head toward the hallway, letting everything sink in.

“I hate this,” I mutter.

“You’re not the only one. But this is the only way to make everyone happy. So it’s play nice together or be alone and bitchy.”

“I’ve loved her for so long,” I say softly. “Her not being in my life isn’t an option.”

“It isn’t for me either,” she says.

A long silence stretches between us. I want to be selfish and tell this bitch to fuck off. Felicity is mine. She has been since the first moment I laid eyes on her.

I love her with my whole heart. I’d do anything for her. But this, sharing her, it’s a lot.

“And you really think she’d go for this?” I ask. “Us—sharing her?”

“Yeah, I think she would,” she admits. “But if we don’t ask. We don’t give her the option, then we’ll lose her either way. We are adults and I have all the confidence in the world we can move past our jealousy and work together. Be friends even.”

I close my eyes, nodding slowly. “God, she’s going to hate us for this.”

I clench my fist as I count to ten silently.

“Fine, then I guess we should take this time to get to know each other. Become friends,” I laugh.

“Hi Ezra, I’m Roxy. Felicity’s roommate, co-worker, stepsister and the woman in love with her.”