Page 21 of Chasing My Bliss (Behind The Lens #6)

Felicity

O ne week.

It’s been one week since I moved in with Roxy, and while things have been great, there’s still been no word from Ezra.

I’ve driven by his house a thousand times, hoping to catch him outside, but not once have I seen him.

The other day I even waited at the back of the parking lot at the high school to watch him walk out.

He did. But he never looked in my direction and there was a woman walking beside him.

I could see her smiling at him, the same smile I gave him.

She wants him. I can tell that much, and I’m scared that I may have lost him forever.

“Up for a movie?” Roxy pops her head into my bedroom.

“What kind of movie?”

It’s crazy to ask, a movie is a movie, but Roxy can find some of the weirdest shit to watch. The other night she had me watching a movie that was completely in French and I had to read subtitles. Sorry, that’s not for me. Movies are made to be enjoyed, not to be an assignment.

“Scream!” she announces with excitement. “We can get in our pajamas and make it a marathon. You’re not streaming tonight, are you?”

“No. I did it earlier today.”

And boy, was it hot. I came three times during the show, all to visions of her and Ezra. Not that I’ll tell her that.

It’s weird that while I’m still missing Ezra—his smell, the way he holds me tight, whispering sweetly in my ear, the way he loved me unconditionally until this calendar.

But my feelings for Roxy have grown. I’ve gotten to know her more and not just the cam girl side of her.

It’s the way she makes me laugh, how I feel seen and how I crave just being in her presence.

It’s making it harder for me to ignore the attraction I have to her.

“Okay, well then get changed, and meet me in the living room. I’m going to make popcorn. ”

“Do we have nacho cheese?” I ask, praying like hell we do.

She raises her eyebrow in question. “Nacho cheese? I don’t think we have any chips.”

“I don’t want chips,” I tell her.

“Then what the hell do you need nacho cheese for?” She steps further into the room, her arms crossed over her chest, pushing her boobs further out of her tank top. My eyes linger there longer than I intend, and she clears her throat. “Well?”

“Umm. It’s for the popcorn. I like to dip the kernels in it.” She makes a disgusted look with her face and I can’t help but laugh. “Don’t knock it until you try it. It’s delicious.”

“I’ll take your word for it. Five minutes. Living room,” she orders, before turning and leaving.

Taking hold of my pillow, I put it over my face, muffling my scream while I kick my legs. To be fair, it was more of a grunt than a scream, because I didn’t want Roxy to hear me. If someone were to have been watching me, it would look more like a toddler throwing a tantrum.

Sitting up, I throw my feet off the bed, letting my toes sink into the soft carpet. It’s amazing. I never knew how bad I hated tiled or wooden floors until moving here. Not having your feet freeze off stepping onto the floor every morning is amazing.

Pajamas…Do I even have any clean ones? Laundry is on my list to do tomorrow. I step over to my dresser and pull open my drawer, sifting through my underwear. No pajamas. Not of mine, anyway. I do have a pair of Ezra’s boxers and I could put on a tank top, I guess. Close enough.

I slip off my jeans and underwear. Lifting the boxers to my nose, I inhale deeply. They still smell like him. I’ve not had the heart to wash them since he left them at my house. It felt too much like I was washing him away, and I wanted to hold on to him just a little longer.

Holding them out, I place a leg through each of the holes and pull them up my legs. I pull the shirt over my head and toss it into the basket along with my bra. Once I have the tank top on, I check my phone again. My last message to Ezra remains unread.

Guess it’s really over.

Roxy’s standing at the microwave, her back to me as she sways her hips, singing Bad Guy by Billie Eilish. Her voice is amazing. So much better than mine. Why she isn’t trying to be a singer is beyond me.

My eyes focus on her ass, barely covered by the skimpy shorts she has on. She sways her hips back and forth, and I can’t help but follow her movements. Roxy is intoxicating, and I want to be drunk on her. Being in her presence, it’s hard not to feel affected.

The microwave goes off and she opens the door, pulling out the bag of popcorn. She turns around and screams, nearly dropping the bag to the floor.

“Fuck, you scared me,” she blurts. “You’re lucky I like you or I’d be dumping the nacho cheese I found in the trash.” She gives me a look that tells me she means business before she cracks a smile.

We both double over in laughter.

“You’re such a bitch.”

“Yeah, but you love me.” She picks up the container of cheese and bumps her hip into me as she passes by. “Grab some sodas.”

She looks back at me, tossing a wink my way before she disappears into the other room. I step over to the fridge and pull out two cans of Pepsi and follow behind her.

Roxy sits on the couch, her legs curled up on the cushion with a blanket over her. She picks up a kernel and pops it in her mouth as I move over and sit down beside her, mimicking her position so that we’re facing each other, but neither of us is breaking our necks to look at the television.

I pick up a kernel and dip it into the nacho cheese before popping it into my mouth. I let out a moan as the buttery-cheese mixture hits my tongue.

“Damn, if I knew it would make you sound like that, I would’ve given it to you sooner.”

“I didn’t know about movie night until tonight, and it’s that good,” I tell her cheekily.

“True.” She pauses for a second. “Screw it, let me try.” With that, she picks up a kernel, dips it daintily in the cheese and pops it in her mouth. Roxy makes a face at first and chews it, her expression changing from disdain to love. “Fucking hell, that’s good.”

“Told you,” I tell her smugly.

“Fine, next time I’ll believe you. Now let’s watch some Ghostface.” She picks up the remote, clicks the button, and the movie starts.

We both settle in as the opening scene begins. I can’t help but enjoy now how pretty Drew Barrymore actually is. Or how stupid her character is in the movie. She deserved to get killed.

My hand reaches into the bag at the same time as Roxy, our fingers sliding against each other, and we both freeze. Her breath hitches, and I can’t help but feel a rush of excitement from the sudden touch.

“Oops.” It’s all I can think of to say.

She doesn’t say anything, just pulls out a handful of popcorn and goes back to watching the movie. Odd.

All this time, she’s been flirting with me. At least I thought she was, and now, when she has the best opportunity to say something flirtatious to me, she doesn’t. If I’ve made up this attraction between us, and imagined it all, I’m going to feel like an absolute idiot.

We continue to eat until the bag is finished, which happens to coincide with the ending of the movie.

“I’m going to throw this away and pee real quick,” she says, tossing her blanket off of her. “Do you want more? Another soda?”

“Um, soda, yes. Popcorn, no. I could go for some chocolate. But I can get it.”

“Okay, then, I’ll be back in just a couple minutes.” She takes off for the bathroom and I take the bag and toss it in the trash along with our empty cans and get us two more. She’s still not back when I return to the living room, so I set them on the coffee table and head to the bathroom myself.

A quick pee and hand wash and I’m out the door. I’m so unfocused that I don’t realize until I run smack into Roxy that she’s in front of me.

“Crap, I’m sorry,” I reach out, grabbing onto her shoulders.

“It’s okay. Just didn’t expect you to be coming out.” I freeze. Those are odd words.

“Were you waiting outside the bathroom for me?” I tease, raising an eyebrow, though my heart pounds harder than it should.

God, please don’t let her be turning into a creep like the rest of her family.

She must notice a change in my facial expression, or maybe a shift in my body language, because she relaxes a moment later.

“No. God, no. I was finishing sending a message and I’m not coordinated enough to walk and type so I stopped to send it.

It just happened to be in front of the bathroom.

” She holds up her phone, showing me the text thread on the screen.

“Alright. The movie must have me on edge,” I joke.

She slips her arms through mine, her fingers brushing along my breast, and my body heats from the motion, the warmth of her touch. We return to the living room, but instead of there being a space between us, we’re sitting side by side now, our bodies pressed together.

Roxy’s arm rests on the back of the couch behind me, her fingertips making small circles on my shoulder. My nipples pebble from the feel of her fingertips on my skin, from the memory of her touch earlier, yearning for more. Remembering how it felt to have her mouth on them.

“The second one isn’t my favorite of the franchise,” she whispers into my ear. Her lips graze along my earlobe before she bites it.

I don’t move. My breathing quickens and I want more. To have her lips on mine. To taste her.

“I want that too,” her voice deep, and sultry.

Fuck, did I say that out loud?

“You did.”

She takes hold of my chin, turning me towards her, and then our lips crash together, like fire and ice. This kiss is…different then before.

It’s a kiss that is so deep that I think she’s claiming me. Branding her taste on my soul. I don’t reciprocate at first, mostly due to the shock. Roxy is kissing me.

Roxy is kissing me.

I don’t think, I just give in. My mouth opens, allowing her entrance. Her fingers slide through my hair, her grip tightening as she pulls me closer to her.

“Roxy,” I gasp when we break apart.

“Felicity,” she responds back.

“I—” She puts her finger over my mouth, stopping me from saying more.

“I like you, Felicity. A lot. Not just like. I think I could even be falling in love with you. I know you have a boyfriend and that you love him and that’s okay with me. I can share. I’m good at it, in fact. Just give me a chance to show you that we can be good together.”

I gulp, not knowing what to say. Should I confess to her about Ezra?

“I like you too. I even told Ezra that when we were together, I enjoyed it. He wasn’t happy about it and he hasn’t spoken to me since. He’s ignored all my calls for almost two weeks now.”

“What a jerk. It was his idea that you be with a woman. He had to have expected that something would happen.” She shakes her head. “It doesn’t matter, it’s his loss. Screw him.”

Roxy’s right. It was Ezra’s idea. I was planning to tell Lorna no about the offer she made and he pushed me to do it with a woman because he didn’t want me to enjoy the experience with a man because he felt like it would be cheating.

It was his suggestion. Being with Roxy wasn’t a threat to him. Until it was.

So if he has a hangup about me developing feelings, then it’s all on him. He’s the one who pushed me in the first place.

“I’d like to pursue this thing with us. I don’t know what’s happening with Ezra, but if you’re able to understand, I’ve still not completely shut the door on him…” I still hope he reaches out to me, and we can fix our relationship.

“I can,” Roxy answers before slamming her lips on mine, the movie long forgotten.