Page 14 of Chasing My Bliss (Behind The Lens #6)

Felicity

Two weeks later

I have to remind myself to breathe. In. Out. Nice and slow. Deep breaths. My mind is getting the memo, but my body is saying fuck it. I’m in full on panic mode right now.

Tomorrow is the day. The one I’ve been dreading.

The calendar and video shoot. From the moment I met Roxy, I’ve been fighting this internal battle with my feelings.

More specifically, the not-so-friendly ones I’m having for her.

What’s worse is I’ve kept them from Ezra.

When I think about how this is going to feel for Ezra, I get nauseous.

He thinks this is just a job and after I’m done, that’s it.

As much as I hope that’s how it’s going to go, I know somewhere deep inside, that it isn’t.

This is the last hurdle. One night. One shoot. Then it’s done. No more Roxy, no more confusion. Just me and Ezra. Right?

Roxy has claimed a part of me. Even though we just met, she owns it, and I don’t know what the hell I’m going to do. Can I really have such deep feelings for both of them?

My legs bounce as my eyes anxiously scan the room.

I’m not looking at my phone again. I know she’ll be here any minute and tonight we’re moving forward, jumping over the last hurdle.

We’ve played with toys, teased each other, exchanged kisses and touched so many parts of each other’s body.

I can’t count on one hand how many nights I’ve gone home after being with her and masturbated to her image, to what we’ve done. But tonight we’re doing it all.

Orgasms will be had.

We have to. At least that’s what Roxy says.

We opted to not have the videographer come in.

It would be too uncomfortable for me. I’ve only met Monty once and while he seemed to be a nice guy, I didn’t know him.

I know it sounds weird with me getting naked and getting off on a live stream for countless numbers of people.

But him being in the room would be different.

Instead, when we set up the final confirmation for the shoot with Chad, he offered to set up and explain the cameras.

Tonight, though, we are going all the way and recording it on her laptop.

That way we can watch it back and know where we, or rather I, need to work on controlling my nervousness.

If we can’t make it look real on camera tonight, then it won’t look real tomorrow when it really counts.

Thank God! I can’t help but let out a silent prayer for that.

Instead, we are doing our own set up for our scene. Not that we’ll need much. Chad will set the cameras up in the right place and then edit the video for us. Once we’re done with the photo shoot, Chad’s going to turn them all on and leave.

I’m thankful for that. Especially since I know him in a roundabout way.

The idea of having to look Chad and his family in the eye after he watches me orgasm makes my stomach churn.

Hell, his wife is one of my best tippers and his kids are to die for and I can’t help but dream about the day I’ll have a child of my own.

The sudden, sharp metallic click of the door handle turning pulls me from my daydream. For a breathless second, time stretches, almost as if the world around me is moving in slow motion. Then the door eases open.

My breath catches.

She steps through like light entering a dark space—graceful, assured, and impossibly real. That familiar smile curves across her face, soft and knowing, as if she’s always belonged in this room with me.

My heart beats in my chest, not just faster, but louder, like it’s trying to reach her before my voice can. Each breath I take is shallow, my every thought fumbling in her presence.

“Roxy.” Her name slips off my lips as if they were meant to always say her name.

Her eyebrow raises, a smirk dancing on her face as she shuts the door behind her. “Bliss.”

We stay frozen, our eyes locked on each other, neither of us saying a word.

It’s Roxy who breaks the silence first as she moves across the room toward me.

“Are you ready for today?” She bites down on her bottom lip, her teeth dragging along the flesh as she drops the bag in her hand on the floor.

“I know I am. All I could dream about was finally getting to taste that sweet pussy of yours.”

I gulp. Hard. Not sure what to say or how to react.

My eyes bulge, my heart races, and sweat forms on my brow

“That’s the reaction we don’t want tomorrow.” Roxy admonishes me as she pulls her shirt over her head, dropping it to the floor. “I thought we’ve moved past that. But here you are, right back at day one.”

“I’m sorry.” My words come out more whiny than I intended. “You just caught me off guard. I’ll make sure to be on point with my reactions tomorrow.”

“If you don’t, then we’ll have to do the same scene over and over until we get it right. It’ll be such a hardship to endure, but I will.” She tosses me a wink as she slips off her shoes, then shimmies her skirt down her hips, leaving her in a black see-through lacy pair of panties.

I fight to keep my jaw from dropping and to keep my eyes on her face and not drifting lower.

“Why aren’t you getting undressed?” She reaches behind her back, moving her hands, and seconds later, her bra straps slip down her arms before it falls to the floor.

“Uh…huh…,” I stumble over my words, unable to make a coherent thought, much less say it.

“You. Clothes. Take them off.” All I can see in my head as she speaks is a caveman beating on his chest. I’m frozen, unable to move. “I said take off your clothes.” Her voice rises, a dominance seeping through that has me scurrying to obey.

My fingers tremble as I nervously unbutton my shirt and take it off. The bra I'm wearing today clasps in the front, so I quickly undo it, letting the straps slip off my shoulders as the lacy material falls to the bed.

I sigh. My stomach churning in knots. My eyes are still focused on the floor when movement pulls my attention to Roxy’s feet and the thin piece of material bunches around them.

Her panties.

She is completely naked now. It's not the first time, but today it feels different.

“You're halfway there, Bliss. Just a little more,” her voice seductive as she encourages me to continue undressing.

I stand from the bed, my legs feeling like Jell-O beneath me. All I can think about is falling to the floor from embarrassment.

I undo my jeans, the sound of the zipper slicing through the quiet room. Slipping my fingers under the waistband, I hesitate, shifting my weight on my feet.

“Damn Bliss, if I didn't have self confidence and know that I'm a fine ass bitch, I'd be hurt right now. You're making it seem like it's a hardship to be naked in front of me.” She frowns and for a fraction of a second I'm hit with a wave of shame. That is, until she smiles.

“N…no,” I stutter. “Just nervous.”

Roxy takes a couple of steps, cutting the distance between the two of us until she's standing right before me.

She reaches up, brushing away a stray strand of hair that's fallen into my face.

Her fingers slip through my dark locks as she cradles my head in her hand.

“There's nothing to be nervous about.” Her lips crash down on mine as she kisses me deeply, my mouth opening, allowing her tongue to slip in.

We finally pull apart, both breathless and gasping for air.

Roxy takes over and slips her hands beneath the waistband of my jeans, her fingertips dipping under the cotton fabric of my panties, and slides them both down.

She lowers her body along with them until she's kneeling before me, her face flush with my mound.

This is just prep. Just practice for the shoot. But God, it doesn’t feel like that. My skin’s on fire where she touches me. This isn’t a job. This is something else.

My heart is racing, my body erupting with desire as she moves her face in, blowing a hot breath of air along my skin. I gasp. The moment is so overpowering I can't contain it.

She smiles up at me as she takes hold of my foot, lifts it out of the denim material, and sets it back on the floor. Roxy repeats the process with the other foot. My balance wavers and I reach out, placing my hand on her shoulder for support.

“Move to the bed and lay down.” Her voice is dominant as I scurry to do just as she asks. “Lay back.”

My head rests on the pillow, my eyes focusing on the ceiling as I feel her hands grasping my ankles, pulling my legs apart. The bed dips beneath me as she crawls between my legs, the tips of her fingers trailing along my flesh, sending shivers up my left leg.

“Roxy.” I barely get her name out.

“Ssshhh,” her breath hits my needy core just before her tongue slips through my seam. My back arches when she swirls her tongue around my clit and a finger slips into my opening.

“Oh fuck,” I cry out, as Roxy's laughter vibrates against my pussy.

“Ezra,” I call out as I open his front door and step inside. I drop my bag on the floor and look around. He’s nowhere in sight, but his car is in the parking lot.

As I move further inside the house, I hear running water and a deep voice singing softly.

My heart melts. A singer he is not, but I love the joy he finds in it.

Just as I step into his bedroom, he's coming out of the bathroom, towel wrapped dangerously low around his waist. His head is down so he hasn't noticed me yet. “Ezra.”

“What the fuck!” He shouts angrily as he jumps back, towel dropping to the floor with the sudden movement.

It takes him a minute to process it's me, and until he does, I stay frozen in place.

“Holy crap baby. You scared the ever loving shit out of me.” He bends down, picking up the towel, wrapping it back around his waist.

My heart drops with the motion, a little hurt he's covering himself.

“Have you eaten yet?” Ezra asks as he steps over to his dresser, opening the drawer and pulling out some jeans, then another, taking out some boxers.

He pulls the towel off and begins to dry his body. All I can do is ogle his tight ass and yearn to have my hands on it.

“Felicity, did you hear me?”

His voice pulls me from my trance. “Uh… sorry. No, I haven’t. I came straight here from the warehouse.” I lift my hand, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear as I clear my throat.

Ezra smiles softly at me as he slips on his boxers and jeans.

“Tomorrow’s the day, right?” He steps over to his closet and opens the door, pulling a shirt off a hanger and tugging it over his head.

“Yeah. We’re doing the photo shoot and video the same day.”

“Good. Then I’ll have all your free time again.” He laughs, but I can sense the ounce of sincerity in it clearly. While he doesn’t judge what I do, he also doesn’t like the time I’ve been spending with Roxy over the last two weeks.

I let out a snorting laugh. “Like you can’t have me all to yourself whenever you want.”

He steps up to me, slipping his arms around my waist. I tilt my head up, looking into his love-filled eyes. “You know what I mean. I know it was my idea to do this shoot with her. But I’ll be glad when it’s over and I don’t have to think about my girl with someone else.”

“It wasn’t exactly your idea. It was Lorna’s.

You just offered a solution that gave her what she wanted, but also what you could handle,” I remind him, but all I can think about is Roxy.

How I do have feelings for her, and in a way, I did cheat on him.

He’ll hate me when I tell him. If the situation was reversed, I don’t know if I could forgive him.

Hell, I don’t even think I would’ve offered it up as a solution.

“Semantics.” He kisses my forehead before leaning away. “Are you okay? It feels like something is bothering you.”

Do I tell him the truth or do I lie? Tomorrow is the shoot. It’s not like I’ll see her again after it.

“Yeah. Just my mind going crazy. Tomorrow is the shoot. Mom will be home any day and then we’re moving into her and her new man’s place. It’s just a lot happening all at once.”

Not entirely a lie. But not the whole truth, either.

“Well, let’s go eat. Then we can come back here and snuggle up together and watch your favorite movie. One that makes you both laugh and cry.”

“Really?” I gasp. “But you hate it.”

“I know, but I think it’s only because you told me you were in love with Atreyu as a kid.”

“You do realize when that movie came out, right? He’s ancient now.” I laugh.

“Hey, I know how young women fall for the silver foxes. Let’s go eat. I’m starved.”

He removes one of his hands, keeping the other right at the small of my back as he leads me out of the room.

After tomorrow, it’s over. It has to be. Even if I already know I’m lying to myself. I never have to deal with my feelings for Roxy again. It’s just me and Ezra.