Page 44

CHAPTER 44

NEW YORK, NEW YORK

BELLA

A year and five months later

July

“How do you feel about going back home?” Dr. Khan gives me a broad smile.

Her shiny black hair frames her face, ending at her collarbone. Warm golden-brown eyes assess me as she tilts her head. Natural light filters through the gauzy curtains, illuminating her light brown skin. She’s a beautiful woman in her forties, elegant and always so attentive and kind. I love my sessions with her.

“Isabella?”

“Sorry,” I say, chuckling. “I’m feeling good. Can’t wait to finally go home, spend time with my family and my friends. I miss it. I miss Boston—more than I thought I would.”

She examines my face. “You’ve made amazing progress.”

I lift a shoulder. “I’ve finally learned how to love myself. I understand now that I’m enough. I don’t need a person by my side to feel powerful, beautiful, or desired.” I press my palm over my heart. “Everything I needed was in here, and you helped me realize it.”

The corners of her eyes crinkle, and her lips ease into a big, genuine smile. “I’m proud of you. I can’t wait to hear about where you go from here. You’re still set on virtual visits for the time being?”

“Absolutely.” I hook one leg over the other, sitting more comfortably. “I’ll be busy—I have a huge event to organize in four weeks, plus schoolwork for my internship in May—but our sessions are already on my calendar.”

Dr. Khan steeples her fingers, watching me intently. “We’ve talked about the importance of maintaining a healthy work-life balance, right?”

“We have,” I confirm. “I’ll do my best to have fun too.”

“I’m glad to hear it.” With a nod, she leans back, her leather chair squeaking. “How was your last day at school? Did it go the way you thought it would?”

I look around the room, lost in memories of my time at the New York School of Interior and Landscape Design. I’ve had my ups and downs, but overall, it’s been a positive experience.

Pursuing my dreams has not only helped me grow and feel happy, it has also brought me some amazing new friends. I landed myself an incredible mentor in Professor Hopkins, and devoting my time and energy to school and my new friends has helped me move on from my past. It’s a feat that, at first, I didn’t think I’d accomplish.

I’ve finally become the person I aspired to be.

After living in the darkness of self-destruction for so long, I needed it.

Taking a deep breath, I focus on Dr. Khan and answer the question. This day ought to be good.

* * *

“Lawson!”

I turn my head at the sound of my last name and break into a smile. Kaden stands next to his Nissan Altima, an iced latte in each hand.

Even in my four-inch heels, my steps are light—just like my mood—as I hurry toward him. “Hey. How long have you been waiting for me?”

“Twenty minutes.”

Arching an eyebrow, I tilt my head to the side. “I don’t like it when you lie to me.”

He barks out a laugh and extends one of the cups to me. “Five minutes, tops. I honestly wasn’t sure I’d make it on time. The lease has been signed, thank fuck.”

I bring the latte to my lips, taking a generous sip. “Exactly how I like it. Thank you.”

Kaden smiles. “Ready for our walk?”

“Always.”

He straightens and checks that his car doors are locked, and then we’re off, heading toward Central Park.

The silence that settles between us doesn’t bother me. The busy streets of New York keep me company, the cacophony a familiar comfort. It’s hard to believe that when I first moved here almost a year ago, I hated all the noise.

So much has changed since.

“How are you?” Kaden finally breaks the silence as we cross into the park.

I sidestep an older couple. “I’m fine. Still coming to terms with going back to Boston, but at the same time, I’m happy about it. Ben needs me. He’s been stressed out of his mind trying to plan his own wedding while still helping his clients. And since my internship doesn’t start for another ten months, it’s a win-win.” I nudge him with my shoulder. “Can you believe we’re done with school?”

“It feels strange.” He grins. “But we killed it, didn’t we?” With an arm draped over my shoulders, he pulls me to his side. “So, you’re ready to go back to your hometown…even considering all the history?”

I rest my head on his shoulder, inhaling the scent of his cologne—citrus and spice mixed with a woodsy scent. He’s handsome and fit, with a six-pack, muscular arms, and toned legs. His dark brown skin is warm to the touch, enveloping me in protection. We met during our first week of school, and he’s been an incredible friend ever since. He’s one of the few people I’ve met who couldn’t care less about my past.

His indifference to gossip and his kind heart make it relatively easy to be comfortable in his presence. He’s a good guy, and I’ve been lacking good people in my life lately.

“It’s not like that history is going to give two shits about my return,” I joke, unwilling to let my unease make its way out of the box I’ve shoved it in. “And, to answer your other question, yes, I’m ready.”

Kaden squints at me, his deep brown eyes searching my face. Then he smiles and presses me a little closer to his side. “I’m really gonna miss you, Lawson. How am I supposed to spend time with my best friend when she’s in another state?”

“There’s always Zoom. And DMs, phone calls. A four-hour drive if you start missing me that much .”

Throwing his head back, Kaden laughs. The loud sound is contagious, making me giggle. “You’re impossible, but you’re lucky. I love you, so I’ll stick around.”

“Love you too,” I murmur. “And I’m glad you’re here.”

“Me too.” With a kiss to my temple, he guides me along the path.

Two hours later, before we part ways, I snap another picture of the two of us for Instagram. It’s become a tradition to take a picture every time we meet for coffee. I have dozens, and every time I look at them, they bring the biggest smile to my face.

Simply because I have the best friends in the world.

* * *

As I stroll to my apartment building, the warm July wind plays with my hair, encouraging me to slow my steps and enjoy the weather.

Memories of my first days in New York surface as I lift my face to the sky and relish the warmth. It’s been less than a year, but it feels like an eternity has passed since I arrived. So many things have changed, some for the better, some for the worse. Still, it’s an experience I’m grateful for.

If not for the hell I’ve been through in my life, I wouldn’t be here, wouldn’t have met such incredible people. Each one of them stepped into my life for a reason. Some of them left because it was time for me to let them go…including the ones I hoped to never say goodbye to.

When my phone buzzes and I find Meg’s name on the screen, I smile. “Hey.”

“I kept my distance like you asked because of your exams,” she says, “but…you’re done now, and I miss you.”

“I miss you too,” I answer softly. “I just needed time to focus. But I have my certificate now, so I’m good.”

“You know what I think—you have a gift. You didn’t need a certificate to work as an interior designer.”

My chest tightens. “Thank you, boo, but you and I both know that’s not true. You’re?—”

A deep voice cuts in. Marco. He wants to know if he should get me a ticket for the first preseason game in a few weeks.

Stomach tightening, I come to a stop outside my building. In all honesty, going to a Warriors game isn’t on my to-do list.

“Izzy?” Meg says, her tone hesitant.

“Yeah?” I enter the apartment building and hit the button to call the elevator.

“Would you go to the game with me?”

“I’m not sure that’s a good idea.”

“I know the emotions are still raw,” she says, “but you’ve come a long way. I’m incredibly proud of you, and I think it’s time to own your life again.”

“And going to the game will help with that?” I smirk, stepping into the elevator.

“Duh. It’ll be an opportunity to face your past, to show them all what a gem you are. To prove to her she didn’t break you.”

I can’t help but laugh. “There’s no bad blood between Audrey and me.”

“You’re too forgiving. I hate that bitch.”

Warmth spreads through my veins. Her words may be harsh, but her devotion means so much.

“Please say yes. It’ll be for the best. I promise.”

The ding of the elevator indicates my ride is over. Yet I don’t move a muscle. Instead, I’m caught in a whirlwind of racing thoughts.

Am I ready to see Xander in person?

“I’ll be there for you. I won’t leave your side.”

With a deep breath, I step out of the elevator and head to my apartment. “Fine. I’ll go with you.”

“Yes! You won’t regret it,” Meg cheers as I unlock my door. “I have so many plans for us, so many places I want to visit with you. Ugh, I want you to be home sooner.”

“Hey, I just got home, and I want to work a little before I go for another walk.”

“Sure, boo. Love you.”

After I hang up, I throw my phone and my purse on the couch, moving to the window so I can look out over the lively streets of New York.

A year and a half ago, right after the Super Bowl win, I was blissfully happy with Xander. I got to know his parents, made plans for our future. I couldn’t imagine I would lose him, couldn’t dream there would ever be a time in which he wasn’t around.

Yet, it happened.

I was the one who cut all ties. Last August, I broke up with Xander.

It was the hardest thing I’ve ever done, but I let him go.

The End of Book One