Page 14

CHAPTER 14

FAMILY MATTERS

BELLA

August

The moment I open my eyes, I regret it. With my gloomy mood, even the sunlit room is annoying. I pull a pillow over my face and fight the urge to scream into it. If I do, Xander will definitely think I’m nuts.

Though, if the way he left so abruptly last night is any indication, he already thinks so anyway.

His response is exactly why I don’t talk about my past. The smallest memory can rip through my entire body, every vein and muscle. Sorrow. Fear. Misery. I do my best to keep the emotions locked away in the back of my head. I don’t want to give them power over my mind or my life. I survived it. It’s easier not to talk about it.

Even though it’s gut-wrenching to deal with alone.

I sit up in bed and take in the room. I gave it a cursory glance the first time I was here, but now I take my time cataloging the details. The room has a full-length mirror, a gray dresser, and two nightstands. Xander’s bedroom is cozy and eye-catching, but this one has its own aura. I feel good here. Lighthearted, even. It’s like just stepping into the space eases my worries.

I dress quickly, eager to get out of here before Xander can ask more questions, but when I pass his room and discover his door is open, I tense. Shit. Is he already awake? I creep to the door and peek inside. Apparently it’s my new habit, watching him when I shouldn’t.

Xander is lying on his stomach, hugging a pillow, and Milo is fast asleep in his own dog bed. For a moment, I watch the gorgeous man breathing steadily. I study the tattoos on his back. So many drawings, entwined together with colors and lines—a dream catcher, a wolf, hands clasped together in prayer, a lion. I can’t make out some of the smaller tattoos from here.

I sigh. He was right when he said I’m weird. I’m watching the guy sleep—admiring him, even—while he isn’t mine. He’s Jake’s friend, his new teammate. I can’t allow myself to think of him as anything more.

Cursing myself for getting caught up in him, I turn and head back down the hall. I only make it a couple of steps, though, before a deep, gravelly voice startles me, making my heart lurch.

“Bella? Are you leaving already?”

Inhaling deeply, I steady myself and return to the doorway. “Yeah.”

Xander sits up, his brown hair messy, his jaw covered in scruff. “What time is it?”

“I have no clue.”

With a groan, he leans over and snags his phone from the nightstand. “It’s eight. That means you got, what? Five hours of sleep? And you’re already running away?” He raises a brow. “Stay. Miller’s probably still asleep. You’ll wake him up, and he’ll be moody.”

“I barely slept.” And I’m not going home yet. That’s out of the question.

“The bed wasn’t comfortable enough?” He throws his phone onto the mattress beside him.

“It’s not that. My mind wouldn’t shut off, and I never sleep well in new places anyway.”

“That’s why I suggested you sleep with me.”

I roll my eyes. His teasing bothers me less by the day, and I’m not sure that’s a good thing.

“Come here. My bed is warm, and I have excellent cuddling skills.”

“Cuddling skills?” A laugh bubbles out of me. “You’re unbelievable.”

“Nah. I just know what I want, and I’m doing everything I can to make it happen.” He grins at me.

“In that case, it’s a good thing that I also know what I want, and it definitely doesn’t include you.” I push off the doorframe and slip into my shoes. “Thank you for your help. It means more than you know. Truly.”

“It’s nothing,” he says with a hint of a smile. “I hope you feel better.”

“I do.” I leave it at that. Truthfully, my life is too complicated to explain. A man who’s so close to his family could never understand what I’ve been through.

“I’ll call you tomorrow. I found a rug I think you’ll like.”

He nods, and a second later he’s back on his stomach, a pillow pressed to his chest.

“Bye, Xander,” I murmur.

“Bye.” His voice sounds muffled.

A weird twinge pierces my heart. The reason Meg is my only friend is simple: I built a wall around myself a long time ago. If I don’t let people get close, they can’t see through the facade I’ve created. They can’t see how damaged I am. I’ve known Xander for a matter of weeks, and already he’s picked up on far too much. That scares the shit out of me.

On my way to the front door, I pull my phone out of my purse and order an Uber. I’m in desperate need of time with the people who truly love me, the people I’ll do absolutely anything for. I hope they’re awake.

It’s eight forty a.m. when I knock on my aunt’s door. When she doesn’t answer right away, I let out a quiet curse. Aunt Millie is an early riser, but with my luck, today is the day she decided to sleep in.

Before I can come up with a plan B, the door swings open, and I come face-to-face with a sleepy Ben. He blinks, then blinks again. Then he breaks into a smile.

“Bella? What are you doing here so early?” He steps aside to let me in.

I plant a quick kiss on his cheek as I pass. “Can’t I miss my aunt and my favorite cousin?”

“I’m your only cousin,” he huffs. “And I’m not buying that shit. You look like you came here straight from the club. What happened?”

My stomach sinks. I should’ve thought about what it would look like to show up first thing in the morning dressed like this. “Does something really need to have happened for me to come visit you?”

Ben just folds his arms over his chest, lifting his chin.

Fine . I hate how easily he can read me. “Jake and I fought last night. We were at a party, and I left.”

“What did he do?” Ben steps around me, his expression full of disdain. He has never liked Jake.

While he starts the coffee maker, I sit at the table, fold my hands into my lap, and tell him the story.

“God, Bella, I told you it was a mistake to get back together with him.” He frowns at me, his expression full of pity. “And I should’ve talked you out of moving in with him.”

“He was so persuasive, going on about how much he loved me and missed me…”

And secretly, I guess I hoped reconnecting with Jake would take me back to a time in my life when I was happier. I wanted to fill the void in my chest. But of course, I don’t tell Ben that.

“And does he love you?” He sets a mug of coffee in front of me. “I can’t imagine a man so deeply in love would do something like that. Where did you sleep? Meg’s?”

“No. I slept at Xander’s house.”

Ben drops the spoon he got out to stir sugar. It falls on the floor with a ding. He’s staring at me, wide-eyed and slack-jawed.

“What?” I ask.

“Wasn’t it Xander’s party?” Ben picks up the spoon and drops it into the sink.

“It was,” I confirm.

With a sleepy groan, he slips into the chair across from me. “Did he give you his keys?”

“No. He stood up for me. He told Jake to cool off, to give me some time. Then he left the club with me.”

“Wow, maybe people really do change. In college, he was a first-class asshole. The Xander I knew would’ve never taken his friend’s girl’s side. Never.” Ben’s face lights up with a smile, but it dies as quickly as it appeared. “Though maybe there’s another reason he was being such a gentleman.”

“What’s that?”

“Keep in mind, I transferred in when they were seniors. Plus, I never hung out with the football team, but I heard rumors. Jake and Xander were more like frenemies than friends. They were always competing for the same girls—like, so competitive I’m surprised they didn’t lose their spots on the team.” He leans back, holding his mug.

“Jake told me they had problems because of girls.”

“Problems?” He laughs heartily, barely avoiding spilling his coffee. “Ask your boyfriend who broke his nose senior year.”

My stomach sinks. “Xander broke it?”

“According to rumors. Though maybe you should ask him.” He takes a deep breath, leveling me with a heavy stare. “Be very careful with Xander. Maybe he’s changed. Maybe he’s a better man now, but I wouldn’t put it past him to use you to get to Jake.”

“Oh.” I set my mug on the table, worried the coffee will only worsen the way my stomach churns.

“ Oh? What does that mean?”

“Xander flirts with me all the time. At first, he’d make comments that made me uneasy,” I say quietly. “I told him to stop, and he did. For the most part.”

“Did you tell Jake about it?”

“Yeah. He dismissed me. Said I’m not Xander’s type. Said he’s a natural flirt.”

“Xander definitely got around in college. Yeah, that was a long time ago, but I still don’t like this situation.” He leans across the table and covers my hand. “Don’t let this dude get into your head.”

Before I can respond, my aunt appears. “Bella! What a pleasant surprise.”

“Aunt Millie, I’m sorry if I woke you up.” I stand and wrap her in a tight hug.

“Oh, I’ve been up. I’m glad you’re here. I barely see you lately.” She returns the hug and kisses my cheek before she steps back and looks me over. “This dress looks wonderful on you. What have you been up to?”

“I was at a party.” I shoot a glance in Ben’s direction, silently communicating that I don’t want to talk about my argument with Jake. I don’t want Aunt Millie to worry about me. “I stayed with a friend and thought I’d stop by and see you on my way home.”

“Do you have time for breakfast?” She ambles into the kitchen and opens the fridge.

“Yeah, I’d love that.” With a smile, I drop back into my seat. “I have the entire day.”

“Must be my lucky day.” She shoots me a wink.

My insides light up in the way only she can make them. Dear God, I love this woman.

I stay with them until seven p.m., avoiding the inevitable as long as possible. Jake texts several times, asking when I’ll be home, and Xander checks in as well, telling me that Jake called him. I ignore them all.

Jake’s house is the last place on Earth I want to be, but after dinner I call an Uber and head there anyway, working up the nerve to face the issue now that I’ve spent the entire day running from it.